Posts Tagged ‘Supernatural’

First, let’s all have a moment of silence to remember those we lost in the Battle of Hogwarts, fifteen years ago today. *wipes away tears*

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*sharply inhales*

*clears throat*

*taps microphone*

Alright. Ahem. And now, let’s get on with the post. Everybody, I’d like you all to turn your attention to the man of hour: SAM WINCHESTER!

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Just look at that gorgeous face! *swoon*

Anyway. Sam Winchester was born 30 years ago today on May 2, 1983! This is a big birthday for the younger half of our favorite duo of badass brothers! So what can we possibly do to celebrate such a momentous occasion?

Well… I have a few ideas…

Ah... Just how I like him: angry and restrained. ;)

Ah… Just how I like him: angry and restrained. 😉

Ah… hmm… *clears throat* But let’s save those plans for later. When we’re alone, huh, Sammy?

Aw, I’m sure we all remember what an adorable little baby Sam was! Why, I remember it as if it were yesterday…

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Literally the most adorable thing I’ve seen all day…

Aww! Look at how cute he is! :3 So adorable!

And of course, that adorable little baby (and his cutie pie older brother, of course) grew up to be a badass hero and we all thank him immensely for, ya know, saving our pathetic asses and giving his own life to stop Lucifer.

We all love Sam for his heart and his brilliant mind and his ability to see (or at least, attempt to see) the good in almost everyone. Even the monsters he and Dean hunt. We love him for being intelligent and thoughtful and stubborn and sometimes just a bit stupid, too, because no matter what we know he’s got Dean’s back.

So happy birthday, Sammy! I love you, we all love you and you’re totally awesome, so don’t forget that.

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Now c’mere and let me give you your present…

Who else is excited about the new “Supernatural” tonight? I know I am, even though I’m 98.99% certain that it will leave me a sobbing, broken mess. So, before I’m reduced to a puddle of incoherent fangirl feels, I figure now’s as good a time as any to do some ranting…

Right now, I want to talk about Adam Milligan.

I seem to keep having this conversation with friends and other people online and we all seem to agree: We want Adam Milligan rescued. Or at least a damn attempt to be made, ya know?

It’s bad enough the poor kid got suckered into being an archangel’s vessel and shoved into Hell through absolutely no fault of his own, but it’s even worse because it seems like Sam and Dean have completely forgotten they even have a half-brother trapped in the fiery depths of Lucifer’s Cage being tortured for centuries.

Come on, guys, when’s the last time Adam was even mentioned? “Appointment in Samarra”? In season SIX? The first half of season six?

Guys, we’re at the end of season eight now. Adam’s been trapped in Hell for more than three centuries Hell-time. I’d the math, but it’s math so… No. For Adam, I’ll actually do the damn math.

He got sucked into Hell in season 5, right? And one month on earth is the equivalent of a decade Hell-time, right? Okay.

It’s been three goddamn years. Technically, five considering that there was a year between season 5 and 6 and another year between season 7 and 8 which means somewhere there are two years unaccounted for but it’s somehow still 2013 so just go with it guys. We’ll say three years since the writer’s fucked up the timeline and I’ll be lenient for now.

In less than two weeks, it’ll be exactly three years since “Swan Song” aired anyway so let’s go with it.

Three years times 12 months is 36 months. Since a month is ten years, that’s 36 times 10 which is 360.

THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY GODDAMN YEARS, PEOPLE.

How long is Adam going to have to waste away in that pit being tortured by two pissed off archangels? WHY HAVEN’T SAM AND DEAN EVEN MENTIONED HIM IN TWO YEARS?

Jesus, guys, Sam and Dean are supposed to be heroes and yet they totally abandoned their little brother and haven’t even made a single attempt to free him aside from Dean’s half-hearted request to Death. And even that felt like Adam was a total afterthought. Like “Yeah, so, you go in and save Sam. Oh, I also have this other brother… Adam. Could you save him too if you don’t mind? No. Well, fine, just save Sam then, I didn’t really like Adam all that much anyway.”

Seriously.

I mean, sure, Dean’s single-minded sometimes and Sam is definitely more important to him than Adam, but even SAM didn’t ask about Adam after he got his soul back. He KNEW Adam got sucked down into that Cage with him and didn’t mention him ONE GODDAMN TIME.

Not even after the wall broke and he remembered Hell did he mention Adam. Think about it: Sam had to have seen Adam being tortured too, or at least knew that he was suffering just like he was. But he never expresses any guilt about the fact that he got saved and Adam didn’t even though Adam is clearly the more innocent of the two.

I love Sam, guys, but, come on, you know Sam deserved Hell more than Adam did. And Sam clearly thought he deserved Hell because that’s why he agreed to jump into the Cage in the first damn place. But did that make him feel bad whenever he realized Adam was STILL trapped down there? Hell no!

I have to admit, while I adore Bobby and I’m thrilled that he got to come back in “Taxi Driver”, I was a bit pissed that once again there was not a single mention of Adam. They had to save an innocent soul from Hell and it never once occurred to them that the innocent soul could’ve been Adam? Not once? Not even a passing mention of “Hey, remember that half-brother we totally screwed over?” Nothing?

Damn it.

At this point, that’s all I’m really asking for. Just a mention of Adam. Just an attempt to save him. Anything at all to show that Sam and Dean actually care about the poor kid that was yanked into something he had no clue about and has suffered centuries of Hell with Lucifer himself. I just want to know they haven’t totally forgotten he exists and is suffering brutally for no damn reason.

Honestly, though, I secretly kind of hope Adam does get free. And that his first order of business is try and kill his asshole half-brothers who left him to rot in Hell. They deserve it.

I love you, Adam! Even if Sam and Dean don't.

I love you, Adam! Even if Sam and Dean don’t.
*picture drawn by ~16AngelWing16 on deviantart*

I’m not the kind of girl who needs romance in a story. I am perfectly fine without a love story developing in the middle of my horror movie or my crime show. In fact, I think that often times romantic subplots can totally derail a story and destroy it altogether. That’s one of the reasons I love Supernatural so much. It’s a show that doesn’t need romance and, most of the time, doesn’t inflict it on us.

Supernatural is a story about Sam and Dean Winchester and the things they hunt and kill. It’s about supernatural monsters and evil baddies trying to destroy the world. It stands on its own and doesn’t need the romance angle to spice it up. So I get just a little bit upset by some people claiming that the show should have more romance.

First off, this is SPN. Have you seen their idea of romance? It’s either horrible tragic or poorly written. There’s not a lot of middle ground on the show.

You’ve got Sam and Jess. They were in love – the show makes that clear without shoving it down our throats and it’s sweet and beautiful, but she dies in the very first episode. Tragic.

Then there was Sam and Sarah – not really a love story, they never got past the first kiss and she wasn’t mentioned after “Hollywood Babylon” (Also: who else is excited that Sarah’s coming back!! I swear, if they bring her back just to kill her…)

Dean and Cassie? Meh. That wasn’t one of the better episodes and though I liked Cassie, her relationship with Dean didn’t really feel real and she definitely made the right call when she decided it wouldn’t last.

Sam and Madison was so heartbreaking it hurts me to think about it. Not only did she die, but Sam killed her. Tragic again.

Dean and Lisa was probably a somewhat better example. But it felt like Dean was trying too hard to make it work, to be normal. Lisa was an ideal to him. I think he cared about her, but it wasn’t real and though I liked Lisa, it was better for everyone that she forgot he ever existed. Tragic ending. Again.

Dean and Jo was horrible because it had the potential to go places, but nothing ever really happens and that’s the kind of relationship this show makes most of the time – promise, but heartbreak.

Dean and Anna made absolutely not sense and I hated Anna so much I wanted to punch her face in every time I saw her. Seriously. I’m not even addressing the one night stand with the angel. I just refuse.

Sam and Amelia is the worst offender. Amelia was supposed to be to Sam what Lisa was to Dean. That already isn’t good since Dean and Lisa’s relationship felt like Dean was trying too hard to chase and idea. With Amelia it’s even worse because we aren’t given any reason to like Amelia, she’s just there and they keep telling us how perfect and wonderful she is and how much Sam loved her and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with Amelia because she’s so amazing and god, just shoot me already.

I think it’s safe to say that we can’t trust the SPN writers to write a nice, happy and healthy relationship. Every relationship they’ve written has ended horribly or was left by the wayside to rot as the potential faded to nothing.

And that’s fine. Romance in a show about broken heroes fighting inner demons and real demons would just complicate everything. There’s no need for romance. We’ve got action, we’ve got tragedy, we’ve got monsters and Heaven and Hell. Let’s not complicate things with sitcom stories of “OMG his girlfriend’s pregnant!” okay?

Romance isn’t going to add anything to the show. And in the case of this show, most long-term relationships they’ve tried to write didn’t work out anyway. I don’t want another female love interest for Sam or Dean. I don’t want them to fall in love with some beautiful, perfect Mary-Sue character. It’s not necessary.

I’m not saying they shouldn’t have short-term relationships – that’s not the same as their recurring romance. They’re human, they can form connections with other people and it’s not like they’re strangers to one night stands anyway. Their lives don’t lend themselves to long-term relationships. The show’s storyline doesn’t work well with romantic subplots. It’d just clutter everything up.

Besides, there aren’t enough recurring female characters left and to have romance they’d have to introduce new people. Charlie is the only recurring female left and she’s gay so… Yeah.

I’m excited for Sarah coming back, but I’m not overly excited by the idea of her and Sam getting together again. It’s been so long. I’d like to think she’s moved on and maybe gotten married or met someone else, ya know? Or at least, if it does happen, it doesn’t last.

But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the SPN writers will surprise me and (if they do make it another romance subplot) write this one well. Maybe. I don’t want romance in SPN, but… we’ll see I suppose.

1. Flickering Lights

2. Sudden Drops in Temperature

3. Unicorns

4. Clowns (okay, I admit it; I was scared of clowns before Supernatural)

5. Mirrors

6. Scarecrows

7. Saying “Bloody Mary”

8. Wax Figures

9. Rabbit’s Feet

10. Ghosts

11. Hitchhikers

12. Mannequins (Doctor Who also played a hand in that one…)

13. Angels

14. Sulfur

15. Tooth Brushes

16. Grammar Phones

17. Ballet Shoes

18. Lakes/Bath Tubs/Sinks

19. RPGs

20. Corn Syrup

21. Camping

22. Air Planes

23. Sewer Systems

24. Black Goo

25. Big Trucks

26. Creepy Dolls (all dolls are creepy, actually…)

27. Little Kids

28. Bugs

29. Ball Pits

30. Children’s Stories

 

Well, there’s 30 things that now scare me thanks to SPN. Some more than others. If I think of any more I’ll be sure to add them.

Also… this showed up in my FB newsfeed and I had to share it with this post:

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I have to admit, I *do* take some comfort in the fact that salt, holy water and borax are easy methods of protection. However, as far as the writers of SPN are concerned, we are clueless and terrified. No workable method of death has been determined for those evil bastards.

 

We now interrupt this program to discuss tonight’s episode of Supernatural, “Taxi Driver” So, you know, SPOILERS and all that shit…

Now… *clears throat*

I HATE THIS FUCKING SHOW. I HATE IT. I HAAAAAATE IT.

*deep breath*

Okay. Maybe now I can talk again.

Fucking Supernatural.

*sobs*

There are no words for what this show did to me tonight. I threw a remote at the TV. I seriously did. My remote is broken now. Because of this goddamn show. I hate this show, I hate the characters, my throat is hoarse from SCREAMING at the TV and EVERYTHING FUCKING HURTS.

And no, I will not apologize for how angry and broken this post is. I AM ANGRY AND BROKEN GODDAMN IT. Fuck. This show is EVIL.

I wonder if the writers realize that I’m already part of so many painful fandoms. There really is no need to try and rip out my heart. It’s already gone. IT’S GONE. BURNT TO ASHES. I DON’T HAVE EMOTIONS ANYMORE, THEY’RE ALL FUCKED UP IN A TANGLED KNOT OF PAIN.

Why would they do that? Kevin and his Crowley hallucinations… Crowley and his awesome badassery, Naomi and her STILL NOT FUCKING BEING DEAD-NESS.

I swear, the entire scene with her and Dean I just kept telling Dean to stab the bitch in the face. I don’t even care if it wouldn’t have killed her. I JUST WANT HER DEAD. WHY CAN’T SHE BE DEAD? WHY IS EVERYONE ELSE DYING BUT NAOMI IS STILL ALIVE.

Fucking Supernatural.

*deep breath*

I was prepared for feels, I was. I knew Bobby was coming back, Sam was going into Hell to get him… I knew I’d hurt, but… but THIS? Fuck no. THAT IS NOT OKAY. I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS. YOU CAN’T HURT ME LIKE THIS, SUPERNATURAL. IT’S NOT RIGHT.

*sobbing pathetically*

I loved the scene with Sam and Dean and the “freelance” Reaper. It was kind of awesome that he was a taxi driver. I really loved the scene with Dean talking to Kevin and buying him food and trying to keep him from freaking out and Kevin just walking back to his closet with Dean’s pie. That was hilarious and kinda cute.

But for the love of God, why weren’t Dean and Sam more worried about Kevin HEARING CROWLEY’S VOICE? That seems like a major fucking thing to be so passive about. “Oh you’re hearing Crowley in your head? Nah, I’m sure that’s nothing. Don’t worry.”

Seriously, guys? This is Crowley. Don’t you think you should’ve been a BIT more concerned when Kevin says he’s hearing his voice? Or any voices at all, since that means Kevin’s likely losing it and telling him to keep it together was some shitty advice, dudes. Come on, you’re smarter than that, aren’t you?

Whenever Dean realized Sam was trapped in Purgatory… And he called Benny again and I was so happy to see Benny. Then I got worried, because Benny was talking so FINAL, ya know? Like he was ready to die and didn’t have anything to live for and it broke my heart. Then he willingly let Dean kill him so he could save Sam and… I choked up. That was above and beyond the call of friendship right there. That was when I knew any lingering theories anyone has about Benny being evil were squashed.

And then… and then… *sobs*

I knew Bobby wouldn’t get to stay, but some small, foolishly hopeful part of me was clinging to the fact that maybe he could. Somehow, I still had hope, even after everything. And now it’s all crushed and ruined and GONE FOREVER. I hope you’re fucking happy, Supernatural. YOU KILLED MY HOPE. I didn’t even know I had any left and YOU KILLED IT.

I thought at least, since Bobby was going… Benny would get to stay and Sam would realize he could trust him and all would be good-ish even if I did cry watching it.

Then Benny started talking like he was ready to die AGAIN. And… and … then he saved them and helped Sam get to the portal and JUST DECIDED TO NOT GO. WHAT? BENNY, WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? I screamed. I seriously screamed. It was at that point that I knew that this show is going to end with Crowley killing Sam and Dean and no one wins because after that, Naomi will kill Crowley and find Cas and torture him again and THAT IS WHAT I’M SEEING IN THE FUTURE NOW. THERE IS NO FUCKING HOPE. NAOMI’S GONNA WIN AND EVERYONE I LOVE WILL DIE AND FUCK YOU, SUPERNATURAL. FUCK YOU.

Why the hell did they have to kill Benny? WHY? WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO DO? I loved Benny. Why couldn’t it have been Naomi? WHY IS BENNY DEAD AND NAOMI ISN’T? That’s not right. You can’t just kill people all willy-nilly, Supernatural. You just can’t. You fucking bastards. I HURT IN WAYS I DIDN’T KNOW I COULD HURT.

*sobs*

This is worse than “Swan Song”. This is worse than Meg dying. This is worse than John dying because now I know for sure that this is going nowhere. EVERYONE IS GOING TO LOSE. EVERYONE. I don’t have anything left. You’re ripping me apart piece by piece and I hate you because even though it all hurts and I threw things, I’ll still be there to watch the next episode. I’m like a hopeless addict, or a kicked puppy. I keep thinking “It can’t get WORSE.” And then it does.

*shuddering sobs*

I HATE EVERYTHING.

I know I’m not alone in this, though it’s possible that me and my small group of friends are the only ones who think this, but I have to say that Meg’s comment about Amelia being a “unicorn” seriously pissed me off and I now hate unicorns.

I know I don’t like Amelia, not even a little bit. I tried and the writers just couldn’t seem to make her into a real character and I gave up. It’s easier to hate someone than to try pointlessly to like them simply because I’m being told that I should. And now, after that unicorn line, I’m seriously annoyed at the writers.

It bothers me because they’re implying that Amelia is apparently UBER SPECIAL. It reeks of desperation: LOOK! Sam quit hunting to be with Amelia! See! He loves her! She’s really special and unique and wonderful! Even MEG thinks so!! PLEASE LIKE HER.

Ugh.

First, it’s really annoying to be told I should like a character who I don’t empathize with or give two shits about. Especially when it’s so obvious. Second, Amelia ISN’T special. Sam has quit hunting before, remember? Way back when he was 22 at the beginning of the show? He spent most of the first season talking about quitting hunting again once Yellow Eyes was dead.

And he had Jessica. Now, he didn’t quit FOR her, but he loved her and that was obvious without being shoved down our throats. Sam has loved before, he’s quit hunting before and one annoying Mary-Sue with a dog is nothing remarkable or special and sure as hell not “legendary creature” material.

That line made me want to throw things. I know I’m biased because I really hate her so much, but think about: what purpose did that comment serve other than to try and let us know, AGAIN, how apparently wonderful Amelia is. There was no reason for Meg to comment on Sam and Amelia’s relationship.

Meg knows Sam’s past, she knows about Jess and Madison and Ruby and that Sarah girl who was way more interesting than Amelia is. Amelia isn’t the first girl Sam’s loved and she’s the least likeable of them all. (That includes Ruby…) and Meg wouldn’t give a shit about her. If anything, Meg should’ve made some derisive comment about how Sam’s relationships usually work. She’s a demon, it’s what she does. And Sam’s an easy target there seeing as every girl he’s loved is DEAD.

Meg calling Cas her unicorn made more sense… She’s a demon, he’s an angel and they’re friends and she seems to actually care about him. THAT is rare and worthy of the “legendary creature” status. Amelia is not.

So now, thanks to that episode, I can’t think about unicorns without thinking about Amelia and getting angry because I don’t want to have the purity and wonder of rainbow farting unicorns compared to the flat, boring nothingness that is Amelia Richardson.

 

So, I’ve been thinking an awful lot about this season lately and since most of today has been taken up with Doctor Who (Moffat, you seriously are ruining my emotions) and I’ve been dwelling too much on huge schemes and plans only sadistic writers can possibly come up with… My brain has gotten a bit derailed.

But last week’s episode, “Freaks and Geeks”, was surprisingly not traumatizing (my friend says that’s because they’re trying to lull us into a false sense of security) and that promo made me literally jump off the couch and gape at the TV… I just can’t stop thinking about where this season is going.

Now, I’m not predicting anything, mostly because I hate to try and predict what’s gonna happen – what if I’m right and I totally spoiled it? Or if I’m wrong and disappointed? – I’m not the best at self-restraint and let me tell you, I’ve gone over dozens of ways that Supernatural will end (for good, that is).

But for now, I’m just gonna focus on this particular season.

It has been brought to my attention that the finale is to be titled “Sacrifice”. What with the trials for closing Hell going on right now, that does not make me optimistic. At worst, it means that either Sam or Dean is going to die again (I simply refuse to accept Castiel’s death being the ‘sacrifice’ in question) and at best… at best they’re talking about a sacrifice that has nothing to do with death.

Since this is Supernatural, that’s almost an impossibility.

Now, I’ve never been one to just give up on a TV show. To date, the ONLY show I was once obsessed with and stopped watching is CSI and I gave the show a running chance before finally losing interest. However, I have to say that I’ll probably be upset if season 8 ends with Sam or Dean dying again – especially if it’s Dean.

Hear me out, this isn’t because I don’t like them dying. I mean, I don’t, but I know they’ll come back so that’s not the issue. The issue is that it’s been done as the finale SO MANY TIMES. Season 3 – Dean’s dragged to Hell. Season 4 – Cas is exploded by Raphael.Season 5 – Sam jumps in the Cage. Season 6 – Castiel absorbs the Leviathans. Season 7 – Dean and Cas are sucked into Purgatory.

If Dean dies at the end of this season, I will be pissed. Because he died last season and the guy deserves a freakin’ break, okay? If Sam dies, I may be more lenient (strange, coming from a SamGirl) but that depends on exactly why and how his death happens. Honestly, the whole “Let’s end the season with Sam or Dean dead” thing is a bit done, ya know? I want to see something different this season. And that doesn’t mean I want Cas to die, because I swear, if THAT happens, I’ll put a fist through my TV screen.

Now, as far as closing the Gates of Hell goes… It might sound awful, but I want them to lose. I do not want them to be able to close the Gates of Hell, I do not ever want the Gates of Hell sealed off. They lose so many potential bad guys and it would also mean the loss of Crowley and the impossibility of Lucifer ever coming back and also, it would mean Adam is permanently trapped down there. I can’t accept those ideas as fact. I refuse.

Since they discovered the tablet and Kevin told them about the possibility of sealing Hell, my friend Beth has been adamant that it’s all a trap that’ll actually open the Cage. I’d love for that to happen because, holy Hell, imagine the awesomeness that would ensue. Of course, I’m doubtful of that being the case, but a girl can dream, right?

I mean, even if they can close Hell off, I want there to be serious repercussions. This cannot come without a heavy price and, as I said, I’m not overly fond of the price being Sam or Dean’s life… Or Cas’.

I flipped around the possibility of the “Sacrifice” in question being that Sam (because he’s the one doing the trials) having to literally sacrifice someone he loves. If that’s true (shit, think of how awesome yet awful that’d be) Dean would be the best candidate, but I think I’d love for it to be Amelia if that were the case. (And yeah, that’s probably because if my intense hatred of that annoying totally-not-a-fucking-unicorn Mary-Sue.)

Anyway, just a little bit of my own musings about this year’s finale… I’m excited for it, but dreading it as anyone should dread a season finale of Supernatural. I really hope they don’t end with Sam or Dean dying, but I’m sure as Hell not gonna say that if it happens I’ll never watch the show again. Supernatural always finds new ways of surprising me and I’m sure this finale will be no different.

We first met you way back in season one, and everyone knew you were one of the bad guys…

SPN121_Demon_Meg

You were the smartass, super-awesome villain who nearly got Sam and Dean killed and we were all a bit relieved whenever they finally exorcised you.

We all remember when you clawed your way out of Hell to get revenge on the Winchesters and possessed poor Sammy to do it…

49641_1202067181595_full

Secretly, we all kind of loved that, even if we pretended to be upset about it.

We remember you coming back again in season 5, in a brand-new body, but the same snarky-smartass awesomeness that we’d come to expect from the previous years of your work…

????????????

We remember you disappearing for a while after Lucifer was shoved back into his Cage, but then you showed up again, running from Crowley and needing help. We remember you turning to the Winchesters because you had no other choice and we certainly remember that kiss with Castiel before you fought of Hellhounds to give Sam and Dean more time…

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We remember you helping take care of Cas while he was broken and even helping Sam and Dean fight off the Leviathans…

supernatural-season-7-finale-dick-roman-meg

Not that you got any thanks for that.

And we’ll always remember when Crowley’s demons came and took you away. We didn’t get any explanations and for the longest time, we thought you were dead.

Now, we remember that you suffered a year of torture and still held out because you’re just that awesome.

full

We remember you having a truly honest conversation with Cas about your feelings, of all things. We remember you actually caring about what was going on with Sam and Dean.

We remember you fighting off Crowley so that they could escape with the tablet and hopefully bring down the King of Hell…

Goodbye Stranger

And we will always remember you, Meg. Even though we never learned your real name, we will never forget the way you changed, the things you did and the awesome, smartass demon that you were. You were proof that not ever demon is evil and we will remember.

First off, that opening sequence made me nearly scream out loud. All those dead Deans everywhere… And Cas killing him. It nearly ripped my freaking heart out. I just… Oh my gawd, there were literally THOUSANDS of dead Deans just… just lying there and Cas had killed them ALL. He was like a freaking terminator. It was like soulless Sam only, much much worse.

And things only got even worse whenever Sam and Dean met up with Cas and he was all… not-Cas. I hate watching Cas act like not-Cas and I want to kill Naomi. Brutally. With a chainsaw. And boiling acid. Plus maybe a kraken and I’ll need a light saber and I’d love the practice the Cruciatus curse on her. And maybe hit her with Thor’s hammer and use Captain America’s sheild to bash her ribcage in. Point is, I hate her. A lot.

And of course Dean finally realizes there is something wrong with Sam and finds the bloody napkin. I knew he wasn’t going to take long to figure it out and I’m still pissed at Sam for hiding it, but more importantly, what Cas said is freaking me out. “Damaged in ways even I can’t heal” What? WHAT? *eye twitch*

I’m so glad that Dean finally noticed, and I’m still a bit pissed off at Sam for not telling Dean. I kinda wanted to punch him when he was all “I’m totally fine” Yeah, sure you are Sam. People cough up blood constantly because they’re totally healthy. STOP LYING. Damn it, Sam, you’re not an idiot. Dean’s not an idiot. You should’ve realized you couldn’t hide that from him.

And Meg! Meg!! I was so freaking happy to see Meg again and I wanted to hug her and she was there and it was wonderful. Much as I love her, I hated her flirting with Cas because… dang it, Meg, get your own angel, Dean’s already laid claim to Cas! I mean, her talk with Cas was awesome and I loved her flirting, but… Cas flirting back was just… no. Sorry, but I couldn’t help but scream “STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP!” Heh.

Ahem. Anyway. Meg’s little heart-to-heart with Sam was adorable and sweet and I was actually loving it. It’s nice to see the almost human side of Meg. Then she compared Amelia to a fucking unicorn and I wanted to scream. AMELIA IS NOT SOME FUCKING SPECIAL, WONDERFUL WOMAN. SAM QUIT HUNTING YEARS AGO AND WAS IN LOVE WITH JESSICA!! AMELIA ISN’T THE FIRST CHICK! Hell, Dean quit hunting when he was with Lisa. She’s not fucking special, SPN writers, stop trying to make me think so. Don’t ever mention her again or I’ll break something.

*deep breath* Anyway.

I gotta admit, I loved Crowley being pissed about Sam killing the Hellhound. Though I totally expected him to be more pissed, I guess he was more preoccupied with the Angel tablet and everything. Still. That part made me grin a bit. I’ve got a weird fascination with Hellhounds and kinda cried a little whenever Sam had to kill Crowley’s Hellhound. I knew Crowley wouldn’t take that well…

I think the scene with Cas nearly killing Dean broke me a little. Or a lot. I was screaming at the TV. I wanted Cas to kill that fucking bitch. Why the hell isn’t Naomi dead. Why does she exist? How does she know Crowley? WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING AND WHAT DID SHE DO TO CAS? CAN WE PLEASE KILL HER ALREADY???

Crowley showing up surprised me. Meg facing him and letting Sam get Dean and escape surprised me… Cas vanishing with the tablet shocked the hell out of me.

Crowley killing Meg broke my already shattered soul.

C-Can I please pretend that part didn’t happen? I mean… maybe… maybe she’s okay. Maybe she was just faking dead. Maybe…maybe … *sobs*

Fucking Supernatural. How dare you bring back the awesomeness that is Meg and KILL HER? Bastards. I mean, not that I wanted Crowley to die, but COME ON. Meg can’t be dead. That didn’t happen. She’s okay. She has to be okay. Please let her be okay.

*sobbing pathetically*

I hate this show. Goddamn it.

My little sister asked me, after I had finished the episode and was screaming about the pain, why I don’t just stop watching it.

I don’t have a real answer. Other than the fact that I’m a sick, sick person and I’m apparently a masochist. There is no other reason for me to put myself through this. Goddamn it, SPN, you’re not even pretending anymore are you? You’re just determined to kill me, aren’t you? WE WON’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. STOP IT. STOP.

Who the hell am I kidding. SPN fans are hooked. We’ll come back for more pain every time. We’re screwed up like that. It’s an abusive relationship…

(Note: Yes, I have this same babbling rant posted on my fanfiction profile… But It’s been a while since I posted anything on this blog so there ya go)

Swan Song, as I’m sure you guys know, is the culmination of Eric Kripke’s story about Sam and Dean Winchester and the season 5 finale of Supernatural. It isn’t the end of Supernatural because the show was picked up for a sixth (then seventh and eighth) season. However, it is where Eric Kripke (the evil genius behind Supernatural and Sam and Dean) intended for the story to end.

Everything from the pilot episode forward had been leading to that episode, the ultimate climatic bang to end all climatic bangs. Watching the show as I did (in order from the pilot episode forward without skipping a single episode and cramming half a season into a day) I could feel the suspenseful buildup as the story progressed. It was always, to me, a much larger story than just Sam and Dean hunting monsters. Whether or not other fans felt that, I don’t know because I was not there from day one (a fact I totally regret, but in my defense, I never heard of the show until it was in its third or fourth season anyway!). They probably did, and in fact, probably felt it more powerfully than I did considering they watched it all spaced out over years. The same way the suspense was super powerful reading “Deathly Hallows” for those of us fans who’d been reading the series most of our lives.

Back on point, I’m not complaining so much as I am babbling on about my fangirl emotions and how Kripke killed them. Before I discovered Supernatural, I maintained that Steven Moffat was perhaps the most evil producer/writer in all of fandom. Even more sadistic than the brilliant JK Rowling, Moffat had ripped my heart out, killed off characters, made me cover my eyes in fear and given me nightmares thanks to Doctor Who and Sherlock.

Then, however, I watched Supernatural. Now, I’ve already established that I get emotionally attached to characters. Otherwise, I don’t watch the show. And yes, I have cried watching TV shows and movies. But never have I cried in the first goddamn season before.

Most TV shows follow a certain pattern that words. In season one, they introduce the characters, give you time to know them and fall in love with them. To care about them and their lives. Occasionally, they’ll throw in a few deeper, more emotional episodes to make you connect faster, but for the most part, the emotional wringing doesn’t start until season two. Now, in season two, I’ve found that most TV shows go for broke and decided that now that you love the characters they’re gonna make you watch while they brutally rip their lives apart.

So if/when I cry watching a TV show, it has NEVER happened before season two. Ever. Not in Criminal Minds, not even in Torchwood. (I came very close in Cyberwoman, but I still did not actually cry). But I remember very vividly crying while watching Supernatural.

It wasn’t in the first episode (though Jessica’s death was like BAM and freaked me out a little). But it was still in season 1. Specifically, it was in the episode “Shadow” when Sam and Dean are discussing what they’d do if they finally killed the demon that had killed their mother and Jessica. Sam was talking about how he’d go back to school and finally be able to relax and have a normal life. Dean seemed surprised and said that they couldn’t just quit hunting when there was more evil out there to kill. Then Sam asked Dean what he wanted out of life, telling him that there had to be something that he wanted once their hunt for revenge was finally over. Dean’s answer… Dean’s answer was that he didn’t want Sam to leave him after their hunt was over, he wanted Sam and their dad and him to be together again like they had been when they were kids.

*chokes on sobs*

For real? That had me in tears, honestly. Not, like, bawling my eyes out, sobbing ’til my lungs hurt but still, I was crying. And I’m not usually that easy of a crier. AND IT WAS ONLY SEASON 1!!! They only get more emotionally taxing as the show goes on.

Season two and three gave me about 10 episodes combined of tear-jerking awfulness (not to mention I literally screamed and covered my eyes at the season 3 finale) and season 4 had me laughing at stupid, silliness that Supernatural is often known for and then scrubbing away tears in the next goddamn second! The same freaking SCENE!

By the time I got to season 5 I was familiar with the pain the show dished out constantly. I was used to it. I figured there was nothing worse they could throw at me after the season 4 climax (which ripped out my HEART!).

Then I watched season 5 and realized that I was oh so wrong. Now, most of the season was, as per usual, peppered with emotionally ruining damnation. I cried just like I always cried, but I was so not expecting that season 5 finale. In context, I knew that season 6 and 7 were already finished and (at the time) they were gearing up for season 8 in a few months. So I knew that Swan Song wasn’t really where it all ended.

But that didn’t help me because I also knew that it was where the show was supposed to end.

Swan Song was an emotional rollercoaster of bad. Not that the episode was bad, it was an amazing episode by all points. But it killed me. Right from the beginning I was crying, just shaking my head and not even bothering to hide the tears (and I was watching in a public place people!!). I just sat on the edge of my seat, listening to Chuck’s stupid voice over and wanting to rip his throat out.

Seriously, the episode was bad enough without Chuck’s stupid commentary making me sob when nothing sad was even happening!! When he said “they were never, in fact, homeless” and started talking about how they’d sit on the Impala and stare at the stars I was just sobbing my eyes out.

Every single part of the episode was specifically designed to make me want to kill myself. All the Dean angst, the Sam angst, Lucifer and Michael’s confrontation. I could hardly bring myself to smile when Dean pulled up in the Impala and interrupted their epic battle. I think a little bit of me died when Lucifer exploded Cas and broke Bobby’s neck.

And then, after all the awfulness and all the pain, Sam jumps into the pit and Michael and Adam go with him and it closes and I’m sitting there, mouth open like some kind of idiot, tears still dripping down my cheeks and Chuck starts talking AGAIN. About how endings are hard and they have to add up to something and how he thought it was all a test and they had passed. I was blubbering again and screaming “Fuck you Chuck! Shut up and stop talking you ass!”

Then they’d cut to Chuck, sitting in his little house at his little desk, smiling all self-appreciatively at the end of the WORST STORY EVER and then he fucking vanishes and my brain exploded.

It took me an entire minute to put together the implications of Chuck’s magical disappearance. Then I realized “fuck you” was a bit too kind. What I really wanted to do to him was rip his freaking heart out and give it to Lucifer to play with. Damn it, Chuck! You cannot play with my emotions like that! It’s not FAIR!

Do you guys realize that THAT was the END? That was where Kripke intended for the story to STOP? With Sam in Hell and Dean no longer hunting, just being broken and sad with Lisa and Ben? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT WOULD HAVE KILLED ME??

From the very beginning, I was in love with these characters. I cared so much that I cried just whenever they started to talk about their feelings. I would hang on to every word and hated having to stop watching for things like sleep and eating because that meant I had go any length of time in suspense over what came next. And THAT was where he ended it? THERE? With THAT emotional rape? Not cool.

It is for this reason that I maintain that Eric Kripke is by far, more evil than Steven Moffat. He knew what he was doing, he did it on PURPOSE. He wanted to hurt me (not me specifically, but me as in fangirls) he probably even laughed manically at all the tears his creations had caused. Even Moffat has never elicited such a powerful, emotional reaction from me (though “The Angels Take Manhattan” certainly came close). Damn you Eric Kripke, damn you. You broke my feels.