Posts Tagged ‘Dean Winchester’

Sorry I haven’t posted anything in a while guys! I was just a teeny bit completely distracted by NBC’s glorious Hannibal. (If you haven’t seen it, save your soul. It will do horrible, twisted things to you…) And my laptop screen is busted, plus fixing some issues with my classes next Fall and my brother graduating high school. I’ve been busy. (Who knew I had a life…)

Anyway. I want to talk about Fanfiction today, specifically, Supernatural Fanfiction.

I feel like Fanfiction gets a bit of a bad reputation, which is probably at least a bit deserved because holy mother of Lucifer, I’ve read some really horrible things in Fanfiction archives. But sometimes you want to read the bad stuff. Or at least, I do. It makes me feel better about my writing. And there are tons of good stories too, and also every now and then you’ll stumble onto something so beautiful it’ll make you cry.

So, here are my Fanfiction Dos and Don’ts for the brilliantness of the Supernatural fandom.

(Also, a brief disclaimer: these are my opinions on these matters. If you happen to love anything I say is a definite Don’t, please don’t take offense because you can write or read whatever you want. I’m just explaining my issues with the SPN fanfictions I see)

Crossovers: Do. Absolutely do. I have a serious love of crossovers. With Supernatural, my favorites are the Superwholock stories. Because I’m a huge nerd and don’t judge me, it’s awesome. (For those sad people who don’t know, Superwholock is Supernatural, Doctor Who and Sherlock.)

Wincest: DON’T. Not ever. I hate every single form of Wincest. Incest is fucking gross people, I don’t care how hot Jared and Jensen are, when they are playing Sam and Dean they are brothers and I don’t even want to entertain the thought of it.

Destiel: Oh please do. Dean and Cas’ “profound bond” is absolutely adorable and I swear, one day Dean will realize that he’s a total dick and realize that Cas is in love with him. It’s just a given.

Serial Killer AUs: Do. For anyone unfamiliar, this is where the supernatural element of SPN is taken out and Sam and Dean are actual serial killers. I love AUs and I love the idea of Sam and Dean being serial killers for real. Dean especially really fits the profile of a serial killer. (I watch too many crime shows… *shrugs*)

Angel Incest: Blarg. In case my tiny rant about Wincest wasn’t clear enough: DON’T. I don’t care if they’re angels, it’s still disgusting. They’re fucking angels people. Angels don’t HAVE sex. At least the majority. Anna did because she was human-ish then and she specifically mention sex being something angels don’t have. Gabriel did because he’s fucking Gabriel. And Balthazar did because fuck the rules. And none of them screwed another angel because THEY’RE FAMILY. Ew.

Gender Bending: Don’t. Gender bending is pretty obviously where you take a character and change their gender. Usually it’s male to female. In SPN, it’s more often than not Sam. But it doesn’t matter because the point of gender bending is to change the character’s gender and keep their personality, but more often than not, the female version is just a generic version of a female original character – usually an author insert. So let’s stop with the gender bending and call a spade a spade. You’re a shitty writer if you do it because you want two characters to have sex but you don’t want to write gay sex. Anyway. Just, don’t. Unless it’s done by, like, a spell or a curse or something and is played for laughs and the character retains their actual personality, it’s just not good.

MPreg: Don’t. Please don’t. MPreg is when a dude gets pregnant. It’s usually very poorly written, though I admit I’ve read a couple of good ones. Generally, author’s don’t bother explaining just how the fuck a guy got pregnant and seem to have set their story in an AU world where guys just get pregnant all the time. It’s bizarre. And gross. And I’m really not a fan.

Giving Sam and Dean a little sister: Why the fuck would you do that? Don’t, obviously. It’s ridiculous. Sam and Dean don’t need a sister. If you want to add a third party to their hunting duo, how about Adam? You know, their actual brother? That guy they left to rot in Hell?

Weechester: Absolutely do. Weechester is basically writing pre-series stories where Sam and Dean are kids. And they are often adorable, sometimes heartbreaking but oh so wonderful. It’s like an extended flashback of awesome when they’re done right. I love Weechester fics.

Adding any new hunters in and pairing them with Sam or Dean: Don’t you fucking dare. That is so annoying. No one wants to read about your fantasies about hunting with the Winchesters and one of them falling for you. NO ONE. Look, 90% of us have those sort of stories in our heads, but we don’t all inflict them on other people so don’t you do it either. It’s annoying. It’s really annoying.

Any Romance at all: Meh. This is an iffy one. I hate romance, especially in Fanfiction where most of the authors have no idea how to write it. However, there are some really good ones out there. I say, as long as it involves two canonical characters and isn’t incest, go for it. I don’t care who you pair together, even if it’s Crowley and Cas (dude, that’d be kinda awesome). Romance can be interesting if it’s written correctly. So it’s a do/don’t because it’s so easily fucked up.

Stanford Era: Do. These fics are so interesting. I love reading about the Stanford era stuff and when they’re done write they’re amazing.

Character Death: Do. It’s SPN. You cannot escape character death and I have grown into a twisted person who is a total masochist. So kill off whoever the hell you want, even Sam if you want.

Character Bashing: I’d avoid it if I were you. There are plenty of characters in SPN I want to tear a new one, but writing them grossly out of character to demonstrate how horrible they are isn’t going to get you anywhere. Sometimes it’s okay, but generally it’s something to avoid. If you really hate the character, just have them brutally killed. It’s what I tend to do with Amelia.

Secretly Genius Dean: Please don’t. I can understand the appeal, but don’t. Dean isn’t a genius. He’s not stupid, but he’s not fucking Einstein. He’s got a GED and he’s more comfortable quoting movies than philosophers. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing; it’s part of who Dean is. It’ feels like a huge breech of his character to have Dean doing calculus or trig or something. He doesn’t like school. It bored him. He’s not an idiot, but he’s not interested in being books smart. He has practical smarts, no need to know anything that he can just have Sam Google or research for him.

And finally:

Samifer: DO. There can never be enough Samifer. Just make sure it’s not all lovey-dovey, happy shit because that relationship is fucked up in a thousand beautiful ways. It hurts so good. Seriously.

So there you have it. Some of my Fanfiction Dos and Don’ts. Not really sorry if I offended anyone. Like I said, you’re totally entitled to disagree with anything I said. They’re just my opinions and I’m hardly the Fanfiction God or anything.

If you want to read some great fanfics, I have a small sample of those here. And if you’re interested in reading my SPN fanfics, you can find those here.

I have officially survived more than a week after the Supernatural finale. I find that to be a miracle considering that last Saturday I watched the Doctor Who finale and Thursday was the Elementary finale and this Wednesday was the Criminal Minds finale that SPOILER ALERT killed off a character they were just starting to develop properly. Those bastards.

But anyway, what I want to talk about today is the fact that I’ve been having these really aggravating arguments with people and was recently called a hypocrite BY MY OWN MOTHER for the way I act about Supernatural.

Basically, the gist of the story is: I despise Twilight with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. And I am vocal about that hatred. Then, someone said that they thought the recent season of Supernatural was stupid and the storyline was idiotic. I flipped my shit, guys, I will not lie. It utterly pissed me off. I didn’t flip out on the person who said it, but I did rant about it for a while to my brother and my mom overheard and told me I was getting upset for someone doing the same thing that I do to Twilight.

That made me stop and think because I never, EVER want to be compared to the crazy Twilight fangirls that scare the shit out of me.

Look, to be clear, everyone can have their own opinion and I get that there are people who just don’t like Supernatural. I can even accept that there are people who legitimately like Twilight. If everyone had the same opinions the world would be boring.

However, I do have to defend myself a bit: yes, I am a totally insane fangirl and yes, if you insult the fandoms I am a part of I will be very quick to argue my points. But the thing is, I LIKE arguing with people about that stuff. Not screaming, yelling, tossing insults, etc. of course. Just a good debate.

The difference between me and the fangirls I don’t like is that I won’t tell someone that they’re an idiot simply because they say that they don’t like something I happen to adore.

In the case of Supernatural, there are many fans who don’t like to hear negative things said about the show, but I’m not one of them. Hell, I think I rant enough about the show that some people probably have to wonder why I’m so in love with. There are things about the show that I despise with such intensity that thinking about them upsets me.

I can go on for hours about the shitty things I hate Dean for doing, about the stupid choices Sam has made and about how much John Winchester pissed me off. Yet, I love them all.

I’m not one of those fangirls who thinks my fandom is above reproach. I don’t think Supernatural is perfect. What I do think, however, is that it is brilliant. I think the show is a lot deeper than some people think. I think the storyline (especially this season) is unique and beautiful. I think the relationship between Sam and Dean is amazing. I think Supernatural has some of the best actors ever on their show. I think the special effects are phenomenal. (And have improved dramatically since season 1.) I think the beauty of the show is that despite its flaws, it’s still remarkable and tells a story people are interested in. A story that I am very much in love with, with characters I care about.

I want people to stop assuming that being part of a fandom means that fangirls are the devotedly insane type of people who will bite your hand off for insulting their favorite character.

Seriously, go ahead and tell me how much you hate Sam Winchester. I have a very close friend who actually despises Sam to the point that she will write fanfictions with him being tortured just because. She’s a bit twisted, mind you, but it doesn’t bother me. In fact, we have some interesting debates about the show and other fandoms because we actually don’t agree on much of anything except that we love the shows.

I enjoy those kind of debates, talking about the nature of characters and what their choices mean and whether or not they were a “bad” character. It’s interesting and I learn things doing that.

Basically, what I’m saying is: I might be overly protective of my fandoms, I might get upset when someone goes to a site dedicated to loving the show and says it’s stupid, but if you’ve got actual reasons backing you up and aren’t just an idiotic troll, then I completely and utterly do not care that you have a differing opinion.

No one can convince me that Supernatural isn’t awesome, but then again, I doubt I could convince someone that it IS awesome if they’re so deadest on hating it so there’s that.

I think I’m done now… I need to go prepare myself for watching the re-run of “As Time Goes By” tonight. Because I’m a masochist and I wanna rip open the scars.

Now that I’ve had some time to recover I think it’s time to take a look back at season 8… (Note that when I say “recover” I mostly just mean I ran out of tears. I’m still reeling from the finale)

I can say honestly that season 8 is my new favorite season. I admit, there are aspects of it that I am still not happy with (like, say, Amelia) but all the same, it was a brilliant, heartbreaking, turbulent rollercoaster ride of awesomeness and badassery like we haven’t really seen in a while.

I have never not loved Supernatural, but I will admit that season 6 was a bit of a mess story-wise and season 7 (while wonderful) had more than its share of moments that made me wanna punch things. (Of course, if we’re looking at all the seasons, nothing in the show is worse than season 3…)

Anyway, this season really took the show somewhere new and also brought back some of the old spark that was the reason I fell in love with it in the first place.

Specifically, I’m talking about Sam and Dean and their relationship.

I don’t know if anyone noticed, but after season 5, Sam and Dean didn’t seem as close. Not that they didn’t care about each other, but there were less brother moments, there was more tension and fighting and very little of the brotherly banter in the first few seasons.

But this season really delivered on the Brotherly Love scale. We got to see Sam and Dean like they haven’t been in a long time. Sure, they were fighting (especially in the beginning when Dean was angry at Sam for not looking for him in Purgatory) but they still looked out for each other and their love for each other really became the focus of the season like it hasn’t been in far too long.

Sam’s struggle with the trials, Dean’s struggle to be there for him even when he couldn’t really do anything about what was going on really reminded me a lot of season 2, when they were freaked out about what was happening to Sam because of the YED.

And the finale… Oh god, the scene where Sam tells Dean about his biggest sin. You guys, I was crying buckets. It was so heartbreaking and so beautiful and it really was just so perfect. I was so happy they had that scene because they needed that scene. The last couple of seasons didn’t give us those kinds of scenes like they used to.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Supernatural never fails to surprise me. Just when I think I have things figured out, they change the rules on me.

I was sure that the trials would kill Sam. I was sure of it like I haven’t been sure of anything in a long time. And the worst part is, I was right, but Sam still didn’t die. I totally expected Sam to die in the finale and I have to say and I was pleasantly surprised that not one of the main characters died. We still have Sam, Dean AND Cas.

I said I wanted them to do something different for the finale this year and they did. And I truly loved it even though I’m still freaking out and the fall seems so very far away. I wanna know what happens next NOW.

I was also absolutely certain Naomi would die in the finale – I refused to accept that she would live to go to season 9. I said before that I didn’t even care who killed her or how she died so long as she did and yet again, Supernatural went and changed things on me.

Naomi had to go and apologize and act reasonable and warn them about the danger they were in. THEN they kill her. After she reveals herself to not be a total bitch, they have Metatron shove a drill in her skull.

Not only that, but I trusted Metatron, damn it. I was a bit wary, but I never thought I had anything to actually worry about. I should have listened to my own advice. I always say that you should never trust or like any new character on the show because they always, always turn evil and/or die. ALWAYS.

Supernatural is why I have trust issues.

The story line of this season was just brilliant. The episodes were brilliant. Everything was just brilliant. There was only one not-quite-brilliant-but-still-good episode this season and the only reason I didn’t love that episode was because it’s a crime to have an SPN episode with so little Sam and Dean.

I’m not exaggerating when I say I think this season is the best one yet. The acting, the stories, the cast, the directing, everything was brilliant. It was emotional, it was visceral, it was beautiful and painful and terrifically wonderful.

I only have one concern and that is this: Crowley. They did not finish curing Crowley. Does this mean he will go back to being his demonic self or did the purified blood change him too much? If he does go back to be a demon, will he escape or will Sam and Dean kill him before he can? He’s still chained up in the church. Does he get away? Did they just leave him in there? I’m very, very concerned about the Crowley storyline. I don’t want Crowley to go away just yet.

Also, I’m very interested to see if Abaddon comes back. She smoked out of the body she was in so it’s entirely possible.
And I am extremely anxious to see how they fix the fallen angel problem. (Did anyone else thing it was really beautiful in a depressing way watching all the angels fall?) How are they going to fix thousands of angels thrown out of Heaven? How are they going to solve this one? Are they going to kill Metatron?

I can’t wait to see Sam and Dean and Cas reunited again, working to fix this. I am dying for season 9 already.

Seriously. Why isn’t it Fall yet?

As we prepare for tonight’s episode (Sacrifice, 8×23) of Supernatural I figured I might as well say a few things about my expectations for the episode before I get my heart ripped out and am unable to do anything but choke on my own tears. Besides, maybe if I talk my way through it before the episode, I won’t be catatonic by the end of it…

So, here are a few of my thoughts on what I expect to happen and what I want to happen tonight:

Curing Crowley:

I cannot stress enough how much I do not want this to happen. Crowley having his humanity restored would be even worse than killing him outright. You take away the badass, ruthless demon and Crowley won’t be half as awesome as he is. I couldn’t take that. I’d rather he just be killed. My hope is that Sam and Dean won’t be able to curse him because Abaddon will burst in before they can. (That’s what I think will happen from the promo at least).

I’d much rather Abaddon kill Crowley than Sam and Dean cure him. I mean, I don’t want him to die, but if it’s a choice between the two then you can bet your ass I’d rather see him dead.

Sealing off Hell:

Again, this is something I am vehemently against. I just don’t want them to be successful here. It’s not like I’m rooting for the bad guys (though, with the generally awesome cast of baddies on SPN, that’s not necessarily a bad thing…), but I just can’t figure out how they’d even have a show anymore with Hell sealed off.

It would mean the end of Crowley, which is enough for me to hate it. But it would also effectively destroy any chance of most of the major villains from the series ever coming back or for them to have anywhere near the same level of badassery.

Let’s face it, the demons are their best villains. The Leviathan just pissed me off and while the angels were total dickbags, only Lucifer really lived up to the same level of awesome as their demon villains.

Meg, Azazel, Abaddon, Crowley… They’re the kind of bad guys that this show needs and closing the Gates of Hell would destroy their cast of villains. We’d be stuck with fucking Naomi and no one wants that. No one.

So I want Sam and Dean to lose this one, for the sake of the show. They cannot win. If they do close the Gates of Hell, I expect there to be severe backlash. Like, opening the Cage and freeing Lucifer backlash.

Sealing off Heaven:

This, however, I’m not so against. I will admit, I’m very nervous about these trials Cas is going to have to do. And a friend pointed out that Metatron could very well be hiding something. And given that he’s an angel, there’s likely some unknown agenda there. But still, I really love the idea of slamming the Pearly Gates shut. Plus, the way Metatron talked, it seems like a non-permanent solution so the Gates could be opened again.

It seems like a sound solution for getting thing in Heaven back in order. They need it. Things have been insanely chaotic up there since season 5. And they seem to be getting worse. It’s a sad, sad day when Hell is more organized than Heaven.

Killing Naomi:

Okay… I want this so bad. I just really want Naomi to die. I don’t even care who kills her, I just want to see her dead. I’d prefer for Cas to do it, but I honestly don’t care if it’s Crowley or Dean or Sam… Hell, it could be some nameless angel or demon. I don’t give a fuck, just stab the bitch in the face and put us out of our misery.

The “Sacrifice”:

I’ve already talked a bit about my thoughts on the episode title and what it could mean. I think I’d love for the sacrifice in question to be Sam giving his life up – I’d never, ever forgive them, however, if it’s Dean again. Dean died last season, don’t kill him again.

Besides, the state Sam’s in… he’s not gonna live through this one, I don’t think. It horrifies me, because as you should know I’m a total SamGirl, but it’s not like he’ll be dead permanently. So I’d be okay with it.

I wouldn’t be okay with Cas dying again. I want them to cut Cas a break. Oddly enough, I never want them to cut Sam and Dean a break, but with Cas… damn it, stop picking on him! He’s been through enough. Poor, nerdy little badass warrior of God.

My random, totally-not-gonna-happen-but-dear-Lucifer-if-it-did-theory: The “sacrifice” is Amelia. Sam has to kill Amelia. And he does. Sure, it’ll scar him psychologically, but he spent nearly 200 years in Hell and seems relatively fine now. He’ll get over it. Just kill Amelia and I won’t complain about anything else that happens.

Dean and Cas:

It’s not what you think, I swear. While I totally ship Destiel, I seriously doubt it’ll happen outside of fanfiction and fanvids. No, what I’m talking about is how Dean was a total dick last Wednesday for no reason and Cas clearly was trying to make it up to Dean so what I want, more than anything, from tonight’s finale is for Dean to forgive Cas. And hug him.

I want a Dean/Cas hug, damn it. Cas deserves to be forgiving. I wouldn’t blame Cas if he punched Dean in the face for being such an ass to him.

And, if we can’t get Dean and Cas hugging, can Sam hug him? Please? Because Sam hasn’t hugged Cas and Cas needs a hug, damn it! Someone just hug Cas!

Crowley’s Victims:

So… I’ve been thinking about this. Crowley read Chuck’s books. (And apparently, Chuck has been publishing them again since Crowley knew about Jenny – who was from season 7 – and Charlie knew Sam and Dean saved the world – something they didn’t do until season 5.) And Crowley’s been using the books to find victims…

I know it’s unlikely, if not impossible, but this is just a short list of who I think he should have gone/should go after:

Cassie – Dean’s ex from the racist truck episode, “Route 666

Lucas – the little boy they saved in “Dead in the Water

Michael and/or Asher – the two little boys they saved in “Something Wicked

Tyler – the little girl from “Playthings

Tara – the actress from “Hollywood Babylon

Matt – the kid from “Bugs” (yes, I realize the same actor played Samandriel… but still, it could work!)

Lori – the girl from “Hook Man

Yes, I am aware that there are several children on this list. But if Crowley’s going all out, he might as well. Plus, the kids would be older now. Also, I tried to include more people that Sam connected with… but they all seem to be dead so really, Matt and Lori are all I can think off. Anyway.

I think that’s pretty much everything. I still don’t feel an less anxious about the finale, but hey, maybe I won’t drown on my own tears tonight.

*bursts out laughing*

Yeah right. I’m screwed. Oh well. Time to go prepare my emo corner for when the episode is over. I’ve got a lot of sobbing ahead of me, I think.

After last Wednesday’s episode (Clip Show, 8×22) I got to thinking about Sam and Dean and Cas and Dean and Cas and Sam and their relationships and the way that they relate to each other.

I’ve always thought Sam was more forgiving to Cas because, well, he gets it. And I’ve noticed some interesting parallels in their character arcs, but that last episode really made me look at them a bit closer.

Cas and Sam have both been through very similar situations.

Sam trusted a demon (Ruby), wrongly, to help him kill Lilith. While Ruby did, ultimately, help Sam kill Lilith, killing Lilith set about a whole, horrible aftermath (Lucifer’s Cage was opened) and Dean placed the blame almost entirely on Sam for betraying him by trusting Ruby. Sam, being Sam, felt horribly guilty and eventually made the ultimate sacrifice to right his wrong, by jumping into the Cage with Lucifer to put a stop to Armageddon. He was (or at least his soul was) in Hell for a year and a half earth-time, 180 years Hell-time.

Now, let’s look at Cas:

Cas trusted a demon (Crowley), wrongly, to help him open Purgatory. While Crowley did help Cas open Purgatory, opening Purgatory set about a whole, horribly aftermath (the Leviathan were released into the world) and Dean placed the blame almost entirely on Cas for betraying him by trusting Crowley. Cas, being Cas, felt horribly guilty and eventually made the ultimate sacrifice to right his wrong, by taking on Sam’s insanity and brokenness, driving himself insane to save Sam from certain death. He later ends up sucked into Purgatory for a year because he helped Sam and Dean stop Dick Roman (the head of the Leviathan).

When I put it like that, it’s almost impossible not to see why Sam relates so strongly to Cas and why he defends him every single time Cas makes a (completely honest) mistake.

Let’s go a bit deeper though.

What were their motives for trusting Ruby and Crowley? What were their intentions?

Well, Sam wanted to kill Lilith, an evil demon who not only dragged Dean into Hell, but who was actively breaking seals to open Lucifer’s Cage. Sam had no way of knowing Lilith was the final seal. His intentions remained, always, in the right.

Cas made his deal with Crowley because Raphael was waging war in Heaven and he was losing. If Raphael won, he would open the Cage, once more releasing Lucifer and starting the Apocalypse all over again. He needed the souls in Purgatory to give him enough power to defeat Raphael. He had no way of knowing that opening Purgatory would unleash the Leviathan.

Even more interesting, think about this: Pride comes before the fall.

Sam was, near the end of season four and his time with Ruby, addicted to demon’s blood and the power it gave him. He felt invincible, powerful. Stronger than Dean and capable of doing anything. He didn’t only want to kill Lilith – he wanted to show Dean that he was not weak. He wanted to prove something to himself and to Dean. He thought he didn’t need Dean, he thought he didn’t need help and he wanted to do it on his own. He became, basically, prideful, self-righteous and power-hungry. It all culminated in the fight between Sam and Dean and Sam actually having demon-black eyes as he killed Lilith and let the demon’s blood consume him.

Cas was, near the end of season six and his deal with Crowley, becoming just as self-righteous, if not more. He wanted to defeat Raphael, not just to stop Armageddon from happening again but also to prove that he was strong enough to lead the Heavenly Host. He was prideful, he was power-hungry and he let that power go to his head, which resulting in the terrifying God!Cas.

And there are even more parallels in their story lines, involving Dean’s reaction this time.

Dean was adamantly against Sam trusting Ruby. It was a bad idea and he knew it and he was entirely unhappy with it. He felt betrayed and he was angry. However, in the following season, Dean works with Crowley to stop Lucifer in spite of Sam insisting that doing was exactly like what he did with Ruby. You cannot trust demons, according to Dean. Not unless he decides it’s okay.

Dean was vehemently against Cas working with Crowley in season six, going so far as to basically disown Cas for doing so and seeing his involvement and lies as the ultimate betrayal. He was pissed and angry and pretty much told Cas he never wanted to see him again. However, the following season, when they were trying to deal with God!Cas, he is the one who suggested that they go to Crowley for help, which was exactly what he disowned Cas for! Again, it’s only okay to trust demons when Dean says so.

Both Sam and Cas have consistently made mistakes for all the right reasons. They were trying to stop powerful demons or powerful angels from unleashing Hell on earth. They were trying to do the right thing. They were trying to protect the people they care about. They fully took responsibility for their actions and sacrificed themselves as penance for their mistakes.

My point is, they’re very, very similar characters. Which is why, whenever Dean was acting like a total dick to Cas Wednesday night, Sam jumped to defend him.

Sam’s always seem the shades of grey in the world. He wants to see the good in everyone, especially someone like Cas who really was only doing the right thing. Sam, unlike Dean, will take into consideration the motivations and intentions behind someone’s actions.

Dean sees betrayal as betrayal. Everything is black and white. Monsters are evil and deserve to die. People who lie to him, hurt him or don’t trust him when he thinks he should be trusted are simply wrong. He adopted that view from John. John raised them to see the world that way, but Sam, in his stubborn need to not be like John, chose to see it different, while Dean, in his desperate need for John’s approval, chose to see it exactly like that.

I’ve noticed, over the seasons, that they’ve both reached a more middle ground. Sam’s less trusting and less optimistic and, especially lately, Dean’s become more willing to accept the shades of grey he usually refuses to see.

But when it comes to family and friends, he’s still stubborn because family means so much and loyalty means so much that every betrayal hurts. It leaves scars and Dean already has such a low opinion of himself that each breach of trust just cracks his sheild even more. So he reacts viscerally, with anger and violence and unbending stubbornness. And Sam, who’s been where Cas is and sees things from his point of view, reacts with understanding, compassion and open-mindedness.

I just hope Dean’s progress on the road to being more open-minded will continue, because this time I really feel his anger isn’t all the justified. He was so cold to Cas and Cas is trying so hard to do the right thing and to make it up to Dean… I know as a viewer I have a more objective eye on the characters’ motivations and actions, but really, Dean knows about Naomi so I don’t get why he was so angry at Cas. I really want him to lay off the poor guy a bit because Cas doesn’t deserve this and, much as I love Dean, no one really ever calls him out on his hypocrisy and bad attitude.

…So, somehow this post became really analytical feeling. *shrugs* Oh well. The point is, I get why Sam is always defending Cas, I get why Dean gets so angry and I get why Cas does what he does the way he does it.

And also… I am terrified of next Wednesday’s episode. *grabs tissues* I am not going to come out it in one piece.

Obviously, this post contains SPOILERS for Supernatural episode 8×22, “Clip Show”

You have been warned.

(this post was written as the episode was airing so… you get my reactions as it happened! Yay for you!)

You know what I’m gonna do about tonight’s episode? I’M GONNA FREAK THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE HOLY SHIT WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO DO TO ME??

*deep breath*

Okay. Now, let’s get on with this.

The opening scene made me jump a bit and I just kind of covered my mouth saying “But I liked Tommy!” over and over. Come on! I remember that guy! I was happy when they saved him because I didn’t think that they’d be able to and HE JUST GOT KILLED!? No. Not cool. So wrong.

Also… how in hell did Crowley kill him that way? What the hell did he do? For a second I thought an angel was killing him, but there was no bright light so, nope.

*frustration*

Why is Dean being an ass to Cas? What the hell did Cas do to make him act like such a dick? Argh, Dean, you’re pushing me to throw things. I don’t like this. Stop being an ass. Seriously. Stop.

Also, “Weird!!!” huh? Well, that sounds like the Winchesters. This whole “curing a demon” thing is AWESOME. Like, horribly awesome in every way and I am so excited to see this in action I cannot wait.

Also, you may or may not remember that I have a “Winchesters I Wanna Punch in the Face” list, right? And that Sam was on it very recently for lying about this sickness thing and insisting he was fine? Well, Sam’s seeing logic and standing up for Cas because DAMN IT DEAN STOP BEING A DICK!!! Sam’s off the list. He’s good.

Dean is not. Not until he stops being a dick to Cas.

Cas shopping is like, the most adorable thing ever. He’s trying so hard to make things up to Dean (never mind that NAOMI IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MOST OF HIS BEHAVIOR) I loved his “I NEED PIE!” line. It was so adorable.

And then Metatron showing up. Gah. Sorry, I mean, Marv. Anyway. I’m in love with this guy and his plan to shut the angels up in Heaven and make them work together, but these trials are freaking me out a bit. I don’t want Cas to cut this girl’s heart out I just… *chews lip* I’m so conflicted. This sounds like a brilliant idea but… I don’t like the trial. It scares me.

However, I loved them talking about the angels like a dysfunctional family in need of serious help. Family therapy maybe? As long as Naomi the Evil Bitch dies, I don’t care how they fix it.

Yay! Abaddon’s back! I loved her so much! Her line about wanting to rip out their pretty eyes made me giggle and I blame my friend Beronica entirely (her obsession with eyes is wearing off on me. I don’t like this, Beronica. You’re making me seem even more twisted than I usually am). But seriously, they do have gorgeous eyes.

Ah, then Crowley calls and I really shouldn’t have been so happy about that. But he’s Crowley! And he’s totally awesome. And… He’s reading Chuck’s books too?!?!? Damn it, those books are getting mileage aren’t they?

AW HE KILLED JENNY!! Goddamn it, Crowley. I liked her too. *pout*

Ooh, Yay! Sarah!! Sarah’s back! I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE SARAH! LIKE YOU CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE HOW HAPPY I AM TO SEE SARAH THIS IS SO FUCKING AWSOME! SARAH’S BACK!!

Aw man… I really don’t want Cas to kill this chick, but… Wait. Shit, she’s beating the hell out of them. Kill her, Cas, I don’t care anymore. Gut her if you have to. Good job, Cas! 🙂

And we’re back with Sarah. I swear, if she dies… You two better keep her safe, Sam and Dean. God, she’s so good at keeping her emotions in check. I love this chick. She had better not die. I will scream.

Yay! Sarah’s married! And has kids. I hate to say that this relieves me, ‘cos I loved her with Sam, but I really don’t want Sam to have another relationship right now. Even with someone as awesome as Sarah.

Oh fuck. She asked about him. *don’t mention Amelia. Don’t mention Amelia. DON’T MENTION AMELIA* *phew* He didn’t mention Amelia and Sarah’s still being awesome about – DON’T INSULT SAM’S HAIR SARAH! I love Sam’s hair.

SAVE HER. OH GOD DAMN IT. SAVE HER. SAVE HER!!! God damn it, SAVE HER!! *sobbing* Save her!! DON’T YOU DARE LET HER DIE!! DON’T LET HER DIE!!! DON’T YOU DARE LET HER DIE.

Shut up Crowley! SHUT UP!! Save her!! God damn it, SAVE HER!!!

*sobbing*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Crowley… *sobs* H-How could you?!?!? I can’t even… *sobs*

I hate this show so fucking much sometimes.

*choking on sobs*

D-Don’t even think about taking the deal, Sam. Don’t. It’s horrible. Please don’t. I hate watching people die too, but, this is CROWLEY. You know this is a bad idea. Plus, you’re fucking dying right now. You gotta finish the trials so that you can get better. I have a horrible suspicious that you’ll die, but you’ve done that before and since there’s a season 9 I know you’ll come back and…

I can’t do this. I hurt too much. Goddamn it, Supernatural, I knew I shouldn’t have hoped for better from you, but really, you could’ve let this one go. You could’ve let them save Sarah. YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO HURT ME ALL OVER AGAIN YOU ASSHOLES.

*sobs*

.

.

.

Thoughts on the PROMO:

HOLY SHIT THEY’RE GONNA TRY TO CURE CROWLEY? WHAT? WHAT THE HELL?? *explodes*

Who else is excited about the new “Supernatural” tonight? I know I am, even though I’m 98.99% certain that it will leave me a sobbing, broken mess. So, before I’m reduced to a puddle of incoherent fangirl feels, I figure now’s as good a time as any to do some ranting…

Right now, I want to talk about Adam Milligan.

I seem to keep having this conversation with friends and other people online and we all seem to agree: We want Adam Milligan rescued. Or at least a damn attempt to be made, ya know?

It’s bad enough the poor kid got suckered into being an archangel’s vessel and shoved into Hell through absolutely no fault of his own, but it’s even worse because it seems like Sam and Dean have completely forgotten they even have a half-brother trapped in the fiery depths of Lucifer’s Cage being tortured for centuries.

Come on, guys, when’s the last time Adam was even mentioned? “Appointment in Samarra”? In season SIX? The first half of season six?

Guys, we’re at the end of season eight now. Adam’s been trapped in Hell for more than three centuries Hell-time. I’d the math, but it’s math so… No. For Adam, I’ll actually do the damn math.

He got sucked into Hell in season 5, right? And one month on earth is the equivalent of a decade Hell-time, right? Okay.

It’s been three goddamn years. Technically, five considering that there was a year between season 5 and 6 and another year between season 7 and 8 which means somewhere there are two years unaccounted for but it’s somehow still 2013 so just go with it guys. We’ll say three years since the writer’s fucked up the timeline and I’ll be lenient for now.

In less than two weeks, it’ll be exactly three years since “Swan Song” aired anyway so let’s go with it.

Three years times 12 months is 36 months. Since a month is ten years, that’s 36 times 10 which is 360.

THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY GODDAMN YEARS, PEOPLE.

How long is Adam going to have to waste away in that pit being tortured by two pissed off archangels? WHY HAVEN’T SAM AND DEAN EVEN MENTIONED HIM IN TWO YEARS?

Jesus, guys, Sam and Dean are supposed to be heroes and yet they totally abandoned their little brother and haven’t even made a single attempt to free him aside from Dean’s half-hearted request to Death. And even that felt like Adam was a total afterthought. Like “Yeah, so, you go in and save Sam. Oh, I also have this other brother… Adam. Could you save him too if you don’t mind? No. Well, fine, just save Sam then, I didn’t really like Adam all that much anyway.”

Seriously.

I mean, sure, Dean’s single-minded sometimes and Sam is definitely more important to him than Adam, but even SAM didn’t ask about Adam after he got his soul back. He KNEW Adam got sucked down into that Cage with him and didn’t mention him ONE GODDAMN TIME.

Not even after the wall broke and he remembered Hell did he mention Adam. Think about it: Sam had to have seen Adam being tortured too, or at least knew that he was suffering just like he was. But he never expresses any guilt about the fact that he got saved and Adam didn’t even though Adam is clearly the more innocent of the two.

I love Sam, guys, but, come on, you know Sam deserved Hell more than Adam did. And Sam clearly thought he deserved Hell because that’s why he agreed to jump into the Cage in the first damn place. But did that make him feel bad whenever he realized Adam was STILL trapped down there? Hell no!

I have to admit, while I adore Bobby and I’m thrilled that he got to come back in “Taxi Driver”, I was a bit pissed that once again there was not a single mention of Adam. They had to save an innocent soul from Hell and it never once occurred to them that the innocent soul could’ve been Adam? Not once? Not even a passing mention of “Hey, remember that half-brother we totally screwed over?” Nothing?

Damn it.

At this point, that’s all I’m really asking for. Just a mention of Adam. Just an attempt to save him. Anything at all to show that Sam and Dean actually care about the poor kid that was yanked into something he had no clue about and has suffered centuries of Hell with Lucifer himself. I just want to know they haven’t totally forgotten he exists and is suffering brutally for no damn reason.

Honestly, though, I secretly kind of hope Adam does get free. And that his first order of business is try and kill his asshole half-brothers who left him to rot in Hell. They deserve it.

I love you, Adam! Even if Sam and Dean don't.

I love you, Adam! Even if Sam and Dean don’t.
*picture drawn by ~16AngelWing16 on deviantart*

I’m not the kind of girl who needs romance in a story. I am perfectly fine without a love story developing in the middle of my horror movie or my crime show. In fact, I think that often times romantic subplots can totally derail a story and destroy it altogether. That’s one of the reasons I love Supernatural so much. It’s a show that doesn’t need romance and, most of the time, doesn’t inflict it on us.

Supernatural is a story about Sam and Dean Winchester and the things they hunt and kill. It’s about supernatural monsters and evil baddies trying to destroy the world. It stands on its own and doesn’t need the romance angle to spice it up. So I get just a little bit upset by some people claiming that the show should have more romance.

First off, this is SPN. Have you seen their idea of romance? It’s either horrible tragic or poorly written. There’s not a lot of middle ground on the show.

You’ve got Sam and Jess. They were in love – the show makes that clear without shoving it down our throats and it’s sweet and beautiful, but she dies in the very first episode. Tragic.

Then there was Sam and Sarah – not really a love story, they never got past the first kiss and she wasn’t mentioned after “Hollywood Babylon” (Also: who else is excited that Sarah’s coming back!! I swear, if they bring her back just to kill her…)

Dean and Cassie? Meh. That wasn’t one of the better episodes and though I liked Cassie, her relationship with Dean didn’t really feel real and she definitely made the right call when she decided it wouldn’t last.

Sam and Madison was so heartbreaking it hurts me to think about it. Not only did she die, but Sam killed her. Tragic again.

Dean and Lisa was probably a somewhat better example. But it felt like Dean was trying too hard to make it work, to be normal. Lisa was an ideal to him. I think he cared about her, but it wasn’t real and though I liked Lisa, it was better for everyone that she forgot he ever existed. Tragic ending. Again.

Dean and Jo was horrible because it had the potential to go places, but nothing ever really happens and that’s the kind of relationship this show makes most of the time – promise, but heartbreak.

Dean and Anna made absolutely not sense and I hated Anna so much I wanted to punch her face in every time I saw her. Seriously. I’m not even addressing the one night stand with the angel. I just refuse.

Sam and Amelia is the worst offender. Amelia was supposed to be to Sam what Lisa was to Dean. That already isn’t good since Dean and Lisa’s relationship felt like Dean was trying too hard to chase and idea. With Amelia it’s even worse because we aren’t given any reason to like Amelia, she’s just there and they keep telling us how perfect and wonderful she is and how much Sam loved her and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with Amelia because she’s so amazing and god, just shoot me already.

I think it’s safe to say that we can’t trust the SPN writers to write a nice, happy and healthy relationship. Every relationship they’ve written has ended horribly or was left by the wayside to rot as the potential faded to nothing.

And that’s fine. Romance in a show about broken heroes fighting inner demons and real demons would just complicate everything. There’s no need for romance. We’ve got action, we’ve got tragedy, we’ve got monsters and Heaven and Hell. Let’s not complicate things with sitcom stories of “OMG his girlfriend’s pregnant!” okay?

Romance isn’t going to add anything to the show. And in the case of this show, most long-term relationships they’ve tried to write didn’t work out anyway. I don’t want another female love interest for Sam or Dean. I don’t want them to fall in love with some beautiful, perfect Mary-Sue character. It’s not necessary.

I’m not saying they shouldn’t have short-term relationships – that’s not the same as their recurring romance. They’re human, they can form connections with other people and it’s not like they’re strangers to one night stands anyway. Their lives don’t lend themselves to long-term relationships. The show’s storyline doesn’t work well with romantic subplots. It’d just clutter everything up.

Besides, there aren’t enough recurring female characters left and to have romance they’d have to introduce new people. Charlie is the only recurring female left and she’s gay so… Yeah.

I’m excited for Sarah coming back, but I’m not overly excited by the idea of her and Sam getting together again. It’s been so long. I’d like to think she’s moved on and maybe gotten married or met someone else, ya know? Or at least, if it does happen, it doesn’t last.

But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the SPN writers will surprise me and (if they do make it another romance subplot) write this one well. Maybe. I don’t want romance in SPN, but… we’ll see I suppose.

We now interrupt this program to discuss tonight’s episode of Supernatural, “Taxi Driver” So, you know, SPOILERS and all that shit…

Now… *clears throat*

I HATE THIS FUCKING SHOW. I HATE IT. I HAAAAAATE IT.

*deep breath*

Okay. Maybe now I can talk again.

Fucking Supernatural.

*sobs*

There are no words for what this show did to me tonight. I threw a remote at the TV. I seriously did. My remote is broken now. Because of this goddamn show. I hate this show, I hate the characters, my throat is hoarse from SCREAMING at the TV and EVERYTHING FUCKING HURTS.

And no, I will not apologize for how angry and broken this post is. I AM ANGRY AND BROKEN GODDAMN IT. Fuck. This show is EVIL.

I wonder if the writers realize that I’m already part of so many painful fandoms. There really is no need to try and rip out my heart. It’s already gone. IT’S GONE. BURNT TO ASHES. I DON’T HAVE EMOTIONS ANYMORE, THEY’RE ALL FUCKED UP IN A TANGLED KNOT OF PAIN.

Why would they do that? Kevin and his Crowley hallucinations… Crowley and his awesome badassery, Naomi and her STILL NOT FUCKING BEING DEAD-NESS.

I swear, the entire scene with her and Dean I just kept telling Dean to stab the bitch in the face. I don’t even care if it wouldn’t have killed her. I JUST WANT HER DEAD. WHY CAN’T SHE BE DEAD? WHY IS EVERYONE ELSE DYING BUT NAOMI IS STILL ALIVE.

Fucking Supernatural.

*deep breath*

I was prepared for feels, I was. I knew Bobby was coming back, Sam was going into Hell to get him… I knew I’d hurt, but… but THIS? Fuck no. THAT IS NOT OKAY. I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS. YOU CAN’T HURT ME LIKE THIS, SUPERNATURAL. IT’S NOT RIGHT.

*sobbing pathetically*

I loved the scene with Sam and Dean and the “freelance” Reaper. It was kind of awesome that he was a taxi driver. I really loved the scene with Dean talking to Kevin and buying him food and trying to keep him from freaking out and Kevin just walking back to his closet with Dean’s pie. That was hilarious and kinda cute.

But for the love of God, why weren’t Dean and Sam more worried about Kevin HEARING CROWLEY’S VOICE? That seems like a major fucking thing to be so passive about. “Oh you’re hearing Crowley in your head? Nah, I’m sure that’s nothing. Don’t worry.”

Seriously, guys? This is Crowley. Don’t you think you should’ve been a BIT more concerned when Kevin says he’s hearing his voice? Or any voices at all, since that means Kevin’s likely losing it and telling him to keep it together was some shitty advice, dudes. Come on, you’re smarter than that, aren’t you?

Whenever Dean realized Sam was trapped in Purgatory… And he called Benny again and I was so happy to see Benny. Then I got worried, because Benny was talking so FINAL, ya know? Like he was ready to die and didn’t have anything to live for and it broke my heart. Then he willingly let Dean kill him so he could save Sam and… I choked up. That was above and beyond the call of friendship right there. That was when I knew any lingering theories anyone has about Benny being evil were squashed.

And then… and then… *sobs*

I knew Bobby wouldn’t get to stay, but some small, foolishly hopeful part of me was clinging to the fact that maybe he could. Somehow, I still had hope, even after everything. And now it’s all crushed and ruined and GONE FOREVER. I hope you’re fucking happy, Supernatural. YOU KILLED MY HOPE. I didn’t even know I had any left and YOU KILLED IT.

I thought at least, since Bobby was going… Benny would get to stay and Sam would realize he could trust him and all would be good-ish even if I did cry watching it.

Then Benny started talking like he was ready to die AGAIN. And… and … then he saved them and helped Sam get to the portal and JUST DECIDED TO NOT GO. WHAT? BENNY, WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? I screamed. I seriously screamed. It was at that point that I knew that this show is going to end with Crowley killing Sam and Dean and no one wins because after that, Naomi will kill Crowley and find Cas and torture him again and THAT IS WHAT I’M SEEING IN THE FUTURE NOW. THERE IS NO FUCKING HOPE. NAOMI’S GONNA WIN AND EVERYONE I LOVE WILL DIE AND FUCK YOU, SUPERNATURAL. FUCK YOU.

Why the hell did they have to kill Benny? WHY? WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO DO? I loved Benny. Why couldn’t it have been Naomi? WHY IS BENNY DEAD AND NAOMI ISN’T? That’s not right. You can’t just kill people all willy-nilly, Supernatural. You just can’t. You fucking bastards. I HURT IN WAYS I DIDN’T KNOW I COULD HURT.

*sobs*

This is worse than “Swan Song”. This is worse than Meg dying. This is worse than John dying because now I know for sure that this is going nowhere. EVERYONE IS GOING TO LOSE. EVERYONE. I don’t have anything left. You’re ripping me apart piece by piece and I hate you because even though it all hurts and I threw things, I’ll still be there to watch the next episode. I’m like a hopeless addict, or a kicked puppy. I keep thinking “It can’t get WORSE.” And then it does.

*shuddering sobs*

I HATE EVERYTHING.

So, I’ve been thinking an awful lot about this season lately and since most of today has been taken up with Doctor Who (Moffat, you seriously are ruining my emotions) and I’ve been dwelling too much on huge schemes and plans only sadistic writers can possibly come up with… My brain has gotten a bit derailed.

But last week’s episode, “Freaks and Geeks”, was surprisingly not traumatizing (my friend says that’s because they’re trying to lull us into a false sense of security) and that promo made me literally jump off the couch and gape at the TV… I just can’t stop thinking about where this season is going.

Now, I’m not predicting anything, mostly because I hate to try and predict what’s gonna happen – what if I’m right and I totally spoiled it? Or if I’m wrong and disappointed? – I’m not the best at self-restraint and let me tell you, I’ve gone over dozens of ways that Supernatural will end (for good, that is).

But for now, I’m just gonna focus on this particular season.

It has been brought to my attention that the finale is to be titled “Sacrifice”. What with the trials for closing Hell going on right now, that does not make me optimistic. At worst, it means that either Sam or Dean is going to die again (I simply refuse to accept Castiel’s death being the ‘sacrifice’ in question) and at best… at best they’re talking about a sacrifice that has nothing to do with death.

Since this is Supernatural, that’s almost an impossibility.

Now, I’ve never been one to just give up on a TV show. To date, the ONLY show I was once obsessed with and stopped watching is CSI and I gave the show a running chance before finally losing interest. However, I have to say that I’ll probably be upset if season 8 ends with Sam or Dean dying again – especially if it’s Dean.

Hear me out, this isn’t because I don’t like them dying. I mean, I don’t, but I know they’ll come back so that’s not the issue. The issue is that it’s been done as the finale SO MANY TIMES. Season 3 – Dean’s dragged to Hell. Season 4 – Cas is exploded by Raphael.Season 5 – Sam jumps in the Cage. Season 6 – Castiel absorbs the Leviathans. Season 7 – Dean and Cas are sucked into Purgatory.

If Dean dies at the end of this season, I will be pissed. Because he died last season and the guy deserves a freakin’ break, okay? If Sam dies, I may be more lenient (strange, coming from a SamGirl) but that depends on exactly why and how his death happens. Honestly, the whole “Let’s end the season with Sam or Dean dead” thing is a bit done, ya know? I want to see something different this season. And that doesn’t mean I want Cas to die, because I swear, if THAT happens, I’ll put a fist through my TV screen.

Now, as far as closing the Gates of Hell goes… It might sound awful, but I want them to lose. I do not want them to be able to close the Gates of Hell, I do not ever want the Gates of Hell sealed off. They lose so many potential bad guys and it would also mean the loss of Crowley and the impossibility of Lucifer ever coming back and also, it would mean Adam is permanently trapped down there. I can’t accept those ideas as fact. I refuse.

Since they discovered the tablet and Kevin told them about the possibility of sealing Hell, my friend Beth has been adamant that it’s all a trap that’ll actually open the Cage. I’d love for that to happen because, holy Hell, imagine the awesomeness that would ensue. Of course, I’m doubtful of that being the case, but a girl can dream, right?

I mean, even if they can close Hell off, I want there to be serious repercussions. This cannot come without a heavy price and, as I said, I’m not overly fond of the price being Sam or Dean’s life… Or Cas’.

I flipped around the possibility of the “Sacrifice” in question being that Sam (because he’s the one doing the trials) having to literally sacrifice someone he loves. If that’s true (shit, think of how awesome yet awful that’d be) Dean would be the best candidate, but I think I’d love for it to be Amelia if that were the case. (And yeah, that’s probably because if my intense hatred of that annoying totally-not-a-fucking-unicorn Mary-Sue.)

Anyway, just a little bit of my own musings about this year’s finale… I’m excited for it, but dreading it as anyone should dread a season finale of Supernatural. I really hope they don’t end with Sam or Dean dying, but I’m sure as Hell not gonna say that if it happens I’ll never watch the show again. Supernatural always finds new ways of surprising me and I’m sure this finale will be no different.