Posts Tagged ‘Brotherly Love’

I know, I know. It’s been several episodes since I made a post. I’m truly sorry. Life is really kicking me in the ass right now, what with it being finals week–0ne more final to go and I’m done!–and worrying about writing and other plans. I haven’t done a post since “#THINMAN” and that was how many episodes ago? Four? Good Lord. I’m useless.

Better late than never, I guess.

I’m just going to go through this all lightening quick since I’ve missed so much.


I touched on this a little, but not much. I’ve already seen some fantastic fan-theories floating around on tumblr and fanpages and I really have nothing new to offer on that front. I do, however, want to talk about how worried I am about Dean. Did you guys see him in “Alex Annie Alexis Ann”? That was horrifying.

Alex Annie Alexis Ann

Also, was anyone else reminded of this:


Because I got some serious season-two-broken-and-bitter Dean vibes from that scene. As if Dean losing it because of the Mark wasn’t enough.



So let’s talk about this fucker, huh? I can safely say that I hate Metatron more than Dolores Umbridge–just let that sink in for a moment. I hate him so very much. I want him to die. How can he be God-Moding!?! That’s not fair! I don’t like him getting more powerful and more douchey with each episode! SOMEONE STAB HIM IN THE FACE, PLEASE!!

Although I will say that I was very pleased with him deciding to bring back Gabriel. I have missed that wonderful, beautiful angel so much and I don’t care what capacity he was brought back in because it was awesome to see his snarky self again!


Not to mention the lovely brotherly-bonding-ness we got from him and Cas while they were together. I swear that made my heart grow three sizes. *squee*


Doesn’t that expression just break your hearts, guys? Gah. So perfect! I love Gabriel. Bring him back, SPN! I’m begging!!


*throws confetti*

I was so excited to see Jodi Mills back. I love her so much. And I’m thrilled that she survived! Plus, she got to be totally badass and motherly and wonderful and perfect and oh my god can I just please have my own Jodi Mills because she is made of Win.

Also–she has truly become a Winchester now, seriously. Emotional trauma? Check. Badass fighting skills? Check. Plaid?



(Seriously, I think she stole Dean’s shirt. Look at that!)

Anyway. I know this is very short and I didn’t go nearly as in-depth as I’d like, but I’ve got to go. I’ll save all the analyses for when the season finale murders my soul, m’kay? Hopefully I’ll be able to post more next week because I really, really want to talk about that spin-off…



Sorry for not posting like I said I was. Lots of real life trouble happened and I couldn’t sit down to write this. But that’s okay because now I have a few minutes (like, 3 of ’em) s0 let’s talk about Sam and Dean and how I wanna murder them?

I just have to say this: I’ve seen a LOT of people calling Sam ungrateful for what he said to Dean in the last episode and I’m sick of it. Guys, Sam isn’t being ungrateful to Dean! He’s being a total dick, but he’s pissed. He has a right to be. Dean fucked with the natural order (again) and this time with major consequences… (Kevin’s dead). I definitely get where Sam is coming from.

Dean lied to him and manipulated him into doing something that he KNEW Sam didn’t want. He knew how Sam felt about angels and angelic possession and did it anyway. He knew Sam was ready and more than willing to die and did it anyway. Dean was being selfish and being a jerk and Dean fucked up. Sam has a right to be pissed.

I still think he’s being a major dickhead about it, but I get why he’s so upset. I get why Dean’s upset. I hate them both and I want to punch them until they have no teeth, but they’re both wrong and both have a right to be upset with the other. If that makes sense.

So yeah. Short post, but still. Stop calling Sam ungrateful. Call him an asshole, but not ungrateful. It’s not Sam’s fault that he learned what Dean still hasn’t: how to let things go. Sam has learned that lesson (after having it pounded into him), but Dean’s too stubborn and still manages to convince himself that it’s all his responsibility and he has to fix it and save everyone.

Anyway. Off to class.

Now that I’ve had some time to recover I think it’s time to take a look back at season 8… (Note that when I say “recover” I mostly just mean I ran out of tears. I’m still reeling from the finale)

I can say honestly that season 8 is my new favorite season. I admit, there are aspects of it that I am still not happy with (like, say, Amelia) but all the same, it was a brilliant, heartbreaking, turbulent rollercoaster ride of awesomeness and badassery like we haven’t really seen in a while.

I have never not loved Supernatural, but I will admit that season 6 was a bit of a mess story-wise and season 7 (while wonderful) had more than its share of moments that made me wanna punch things. (Of course, if we’re looking at all the seasons, nothing in the show is worse than season 3…)

Anyway, this season really took the show somewhere new and also brought back some of the old spark that was the reason I fell in love with it in the first place.

Specifically, I’m talking about Sam and Dean and their relationship.

I don’t know if anyone noticed, but after season 5, Sam and Dean didn’t seem as close. Not that they didn’t care about each other, but there were less brother moments, there was more tension and fighting and very little of the brotherly banter in the first few seasons.

But this season really delivered on the Brotherly Love scale. We got to see Sam and Dean like they haven’t been in a long time. Sure, they were fighting (especially in the beginning when Dean was angry at Sam for not looking for him in Purgatory) but they still looked out for each other and their love for each other really became the focus of the season like it hasn’t been in far too long.

Sam’s struggle with the trials, Dean’s struggle to be there for him even when he couldn’t really do anything about what was going on really reminded me a lot of season 2, when they were freaked out about what was happening to Sam because of the YED.

And the finale… Oh god, the scene where Sam tells Dean about his biggest sin. You guys, I was crying buckets. It was so heartbreaking and so beautiful and it really was just so perfect. I was so happy they had that scene because they needed that scene. The last couple of seasons didn’t give us those kinds of scenes like they used to.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Supernatural never fails to surprise me. Just when I think I have things figured out, they change the rules on me.

I was sure that the trials would kill Sam. I was sure of it like I haven’t been sure of anything in a long time. And the worst part is, I was right, but Sam still didn’t die. I totally expected Sam to die in the finale and I have to say and I was pleasantly surprised that not one of the main characters died. We still have Sam, Dean AND Cas.

I said I wanted them to do something different for the finale this year and they did. And I truly loved it even though I’m still freaking out and the fall seems so very far away. I wanna know what happens next NOW.

I was also absolutely certain Naomi would die in the finale – I refused to accept that she would live to go to season 9. I said before that I didn’t even care who killed her or how she died so long as she did and yet again, Supernatural went and changed things on me.

Naomi had to go and apologize and act reasonable and warn them about the danger they were in. THEN they kill her. After she reveals herself to not be a total bitch, they have Metatron shove a drill in her skull.

Not only that, but I trusted Metatron, damn it. I was a bit wary, but I never thought I had anything to actually worry about. I should have listened to my own advice. I always say that you should never trust or like any new character on the show because they always, always turn evil and/or die. ALWAYS.

Supernatural is why I have trust issues.

The story line of this season was just brilliant. The episodes were brilliant. Everything was just brilliant. There was only one not-quite-brilliant-but-still-good episode this season and the only reason I didn’t love that episode was because it’s a crime to have an SPN episode with so little Sam and Dean.

I’m not exaggerating when I say I think this season is the best one yet. The acting, the stories, the cast, the directing, everything was brilliant. It was emotional, it was visceral, it was beautiful and painful and terrifically wonderful.

I only have one concern and that is this: Crowley. They did not finish curing Crowley. Does this mean he will go back to being his demonic self or did the purified blood change him too much? If he does go back to be a demon, will he escape or will Sam and Dean kill him before he can? He’s still chained up in the church. Does he get away? Did they just leave him in there? I’m very, very concerned about the Crowley storyline. I don’t want Crowley to go away just yet.

Also, I’m very interested to see if Abaddon comes back. She smoked out of the body she was in so it’s entirely possible.
And I am extremely anxious to see how they fix the fallen angel problem. (Did anyone else thing it was really beautiful in a depressing way watching all the angels fall?) How are they going to fix thousands of angels thrown out of Heaven? How are they going to solve this one? Are they going to kill Metatron?

I can’t wait to see Sam and Dean and Cas reunited again, working to fix this. I am dying for season 9 already.

Seriously. Why isn’t it Fall yet?

So, I’ve been thinking an awful lot about this season lately and since most of today has been taken up with Doctor Who (Moffat, you seriously are ruining my emotions) and I’ve been dwelling too much on huge schemes and plans only sadistic writers can possibly come up with… My brain has gotten a bit derailed.

But last week’s episode, “Freaks and Geeks”, was surprisingly not traumatizing (my friend says that’s because they’re trying to lull us into a false sense of security) and that promo made me literally jump off the couch and gape at the TV… I just can’t stop thinking about where this season is going.

Now, I’m not predicting anything, mostly because I hate to try and predict what’s gonna happen – what if I’m right and I totally spoiled it? Or if I’m wrong and disappointed? – I’m not the best at self-restraint and let me tell you, I’ve gone over dozens of ways that Supernatural will end (for good, that is).

But for now, I’m just gonna focus on this particular season.

It has been brought to my attention that the finale is to be titled “Sacrifice”. What with the trials for closing Hell going on right now, that does not make me optimistic. At worst, it means that either Sam or Dean is going to die again (I simply refuse to accept Castiel’s death being the ‘sacrifice’ in question) and at best… at best they’re talking about a sacrifice that has nothing to do with death.

Since this is Supernatural, that’s almost an impossibility.

Now, I’ve never been one to just give up on a TV show. To date, the ONLY show I was once obsessed with and stopped watching is CSI and I gave the show a running chance before finally losing interest. However, I have to say that I’ll probably be upset if season 8 ends with Sam or Dean dying again – especially if it’s Dean.

Hear me out, this isn’t because I don’t like them dying. I mean, I don’t, but I know they’ll come back so that’s not the issue. The issue is that it’s been done as the finale SO MANY TIMES. Season 3 – Dean’s dragged to Hell. Season 4 – Cas is exploded by Raphael.Season 5 – Sam jumps in the Cage. Season 6 – Castiel absorbs the Leviathans. Season 7 – Dean and Cas are sucked into Purgatory.

If Dean dies at the end of this season, I will be pissed. Because he died last season and the guy deserves a freakin’ break, okay? If Sam dies, I may be more lenient (strange, coming from a SamGirl) but that depends on exactly why and how his death happens. Honestly, the whole “Let’s end the season with Sam or Dean dead” thing is a bit done, ya know? I want to see something different this season. And that doesn’t mean I want Cas to die, because I swear, if THAT happens, I’ll put a fist through my TV screen.

Now, as far as closing the Gates of Hell goes… It might sound awful, but I want them to lose. I do not want them to be able to close the Gates of Hell, I do not ever want the Gates of Hell sealed off. They lose so many potential bad guys and it would also mean the loss of Crowley and the impossibility of Lucifer ever coming back and also, it would mean Adam is permanently trapped down there. I can’t accept those ideas as fact. I refuse.

Since they discovered the tablet and Kevin told them about the possibility of sealing Hell, my friend Beth has been adamant that it’s all a trap that’ll actually open the Cage. I’d love for that to happen because, holy Hell, imagine the awesomeness that would ensue. Of course, I’m doubtful of that being the case, but a girl can dream, right?

I mean, even if they can close Hell off, I want there to be serious repercussions. This cannot come without a heavy price and, as I said, I’m not overly fond of the price being Sam or Dean’s life… Or Cas’.

I flipped around the possibility of the “Sacrifice” in question being that Sam (because he’s the one doing the trials) having to literally sacrifice someone he loves. If that’s true (shit, think of how awesome yet awful that’d be) Dean would be the best candidate, but I think I’d love for it to be Amelia if that were the case. (And yeah, that’s probably because if my intense hatred of that annoying totally-not-a-fucking-unicorn Mary-Sue.)

Anyway, just a little bit of my own musings about this year’s finale… I’m excited for it, but dreading it as anyone should dread a season finale of Supernatural. I really hope they don’t end with Sam or Dean dying, but I’m sure as Hell not gonna say that if it happens I’ll never watch the show again. Supernatural always finds new ways of surprising me and I’m sure this finale will be no different.

(Note: Yes, I have this same babbling rant posted on my fanfiction profile… But It’s been a while since I posted anything on this blog so there ya go)

Swan Song, as I’m sure you guys know, is the culmination of Eric Kripke’s story about Sam and Dean Winchester and the season 5 finale of Supernatural. It isn’t the end of Supernatural because the show was picked up for a sixth (then seventh and eighth) season. However, it is where Eric Kripke (the evil genius behind Supernatural and Sam and Dean) intended for the story to end.

Everything from the pilot episode forward had been leading to that episode, the ultimate climatic bang to end all climatic bangs. Watching the show as I did (in order from the pilot episode forward without skipping a single episode and cramming half a season into a day) I could feel the suspenseful buildup as the story progressed. It was always, to me, a much larger story than just Sam and Dean hunting monsters. Whether or not other fans felt that, I don’t know because I was not there from day one (a fact I totally regret, but in my defense, I never heard of the show until it was in its third or fourth season anyway!). They probably did, and in fact, probably felt it more powerfully than I did considering they watched it all spaced out over years. The same way the suspense was super powerful reading “Deathly Hallows” for those of us fans who’d been reading the series most of our lives.

Back on point, I’m not complaining so much as I am babbling on about my fangirl emotions and how Kripke killed them. Before I discovered Supernatural, I maintained that Steven Moffat was perhaps the most evil producer/writer in all of fandom. Even more sadistic than the brilliant JK Rowling, Moffat had ripped my heart out, killed off characters, made me cover my eyes in fear and given me nightmares thanks to Doctor Who and Sherlock.

Then, however, I watched Supernatural. Now, I’ve already established that I get emotionally attached to characters. Otherwise, I don’t watch the show. And yes, I have cried watching TV shows and movies. But never have I cried in the first goddamn season before.

Most TV shows follow a certain pattern that words. In season one, they introduce the characters, give you time to know them and fall in love with them. To care about them and their lives. Occasionally, they’ll throw in a few deeper, more emotional episodes to make you connect faster, but for the most part, the emotional wringing doesn’t start until season two. Now, in season two, I’ve found that most TV shows go for broke and decided that now that you love the characters they’re gonna make you watch while they brutally rip their lives apart.

So if/when I cry watching a TV show, it has NEVER happened before season two. Ever. Not in Criminal Minds, not even in Torchwood. (I came very close in Cyberwoman, but I still did not actually cry). But I remember very vividly crying while watching Supernatural.

It wasn’t in the first episode (though Jessica’s death was like BAM and freaked me out a little). But it was still in season 1. Specifically, it was in the episode “Shadow” when Sam and Dean are discussing what they’d do if they finally killed the demon that had killed their mother and Jessica. Sam was talking about how he’d go back to school and finally be able to relax and have a normal life. Dean seemed surprised and said that they couldn’t just quit hunting when there was more evil out there to kill. Then Sam asked Dean what he wanted out of life, telling him that there had to be something that he wanted once their hunt for revenge was finally over. Dean’s answer… Dean’s answer was that he didn’t want Sam to leave him after their hunt was over, he wanted Sam and their dad and him to be together again like they had been when they were kids.

*chokes on sobs*

For real? That had me in tears, honestly. Not, like, bawling my eyes out, sobbing ’til my lungs hurt but still, I was crying. And I’m not usually that easy of a crier. AND IT WAS ONLY SEASON 1!!! They only get more emotionally taxing as the show goes on.

Season two and three gave me about 10 episodes combined of tear-jerking awfulness (not to mention I literally screamed and covered my eyes at the season 3 finale) and season 4 had me laughing at stupid, silliness that Supernatural is often known for and then scrubbing away tears in the next goddamn second! The same freaking SCENE!

By the time I got to season 5 I was familiar with the pain the show dished out constantly. I was used to it. I figured there was nothing worse they could throw at me after the season 4 climax (which ripped out my HEART!).

Then I watched season 5 and realized that I was oh so wrong. Now, most of the season was, as per usual, peppered with emotionally ruining damnation. I cried just like I always cried, but I was so not expecting that season 5 finale. In context, I knew that season 6 and 7 were already finished and (at the time) they were gearing up for season 8 in a few months. So I knew that Swan Song wasn’t really where it all ended.

But that didn’t help me because I also knew that it was where the show was supposed to end.

Swan Song was an emotional rollercoaster of bad. Not that the episode was bad, it was an amazing episode by all points. But it killed me. Right from the beginning I was crying, just shaking my head and not even bothering to hide the tears (and I was watching in a public place people!!). I just sat on the edge of my seat, listening to Chuck’s stupid voice over and wanting to rip his throat out.

Seriously, the episode was bad enough without Chuck’s stupid commentary making me sob when nothing sad was even happening!! When he said “they were never, in fact, homeless” and started talking about how they’d sit on the Impala and stare at the stars I was just sobbing my eyes out.

Every single part of the episode was specifically designed to make me want to kill myself. All the Dean angst, the Sam angst, Lucifer and Michael’s confrontation. I could hardly bring myself to smile when Dean pulled up in the Impala and interrupted their epic battle. I think a little bit of me died when Lucifer exploded Cas and broke Bobby’s neck.

And then, after all the awfulness and all the pain, Sam jumps into the pit and Michael and Adam go with him and it closes and I’m sitting there, mouth open like some kind of idiot, tears still dripping down my cheeks and Chuck starts talking AGAIN. About how endings are hard and they have to add up to something and how he thought it was all a test and they had passed. I was blubbering again and screaming “Fuck you Chuck! Shut up and stop talking you ass!”

Then they’d cut to Chuck, sitting in his little house at his little desk, smiling all self-appreciatively at the end of the WORST STORY EVER and then he fucking vanishes and my brain exploded.

It took me an entire minute to put together the implications of Chuck’s magical disappearance. Then I realized “fuck you” was a bit too kind. What I really wanted to do to him was rip his freaking heart out and give it to Lucifer to play with. Damn it, Chuck! You cannot play with my emotions like that! It’s not FAIR!

Do you guys realize that THAT was the END? That was where Kripke intended for the story to STOP? With Sam in Hell and Dean no longer hunting, just being broken and sad with Lisa and Ben? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT WOULD HAVE KILLED ME??

From the very beginning, I was in love with these characters. I cared so much that I cried just whenever they started to talk about their feelings. I would hang on to every word and hated having to stop watching for things like sleep and eating because that meant I had go any length of time in suspense over what came next. And THAT was where he ended it? THERE? With THAT emotional rape? Not cool.

It is for this reason that I maintain that Eric Kripke is by far, more evil than Steven Moffat. He knew what he was doing, he did it on PURPOSE. He wanted to hurt me (not me specifically, but me as in fangirls) he probably even laughed manically at all the tears his creations had caused. Even Moffat has never elicited such a powerful, emotional reaction from me (though “The Angels Take Manhattan” certainly came close). Damn you Eric Kripke, damn you. You broke my feels.

So, last night/tonight’s SPN episode was amazing and we got to learn more about witches, which was very cool. Since I’m sick, but my medicine hasn’t allowed me to sleep yet, I decided to post a few thoughts on the episode here…

Maybe it’s because I just started reading the 2nd Dresden Files book, but I totally kept expecting Harry Dresden to show up, he would’ve fit perfectly into tonight’s episode. I mean, the SPN witches are very close to the Dresden Files witches and Harry being a Wizard and PI, it would make perfect sense for me him to show up. But that’s just my newest addiction bleeding through. Probably.

But in all seriousness, Harry would’ve been helpful and maybe it’s also my strange obsession with crossovers, but I can see it all so perfectly in my head. Come on, tell me it doesn’t make absolutely perfect sense. Anyway.

I loved getting to see into the witch community. We’ve never gotten to do that before and it was very interesting and I loved Portia and her interaction with Sam and Dean… Ah, Dean was so cute when he said “I like dogs,” and I was just shaking my head. Oh Dean. Don’t you ever change. (As a side note, I’m actually pretty damn proud of Dean for not once saying the word “bestiality” in the whole episode…)

I was actually shedding HAPPY tears at the end of this episode. Which, for SPN, is remarkable in and of itself. That’s hardly ever (if ever…) happened. But Dean calling Sam “Sammy” gets me every time and he’s done it a couple of times this season and it makes my heart swell and I just… Aw…

Also, going off on a bit of tangent, but… Sam’s confrontation with Dean about Dean not being able to trust anyone but himself… Okay, first, yeah, Sam’s probably right about that (though I think Dean wanting to protect Sam is a big motivational factor…) but I just was like… “Wait, I… I’m the exact same way. Are you… are you telling me wanting to do something yourself because you don’t trust anyone else to do it right is BAD? Shit…” Seriously. I end up doing shit I don’t want to do, simply because I don’t think anyone else can do it the way it’s supposed to be done. Is that really a bad thing?? I suppose maybe it is. Damn it. Anyway, moving on.

After Dean was all, “I DO trust you,” and everything, I was smiling and my eyes were watering from happy tears… Then Sam started coughing. At first, I was like “Oh look, Sam’s got the same damn flu I do…” Then blood came out of his mouth. And I was like “Shit. What the hell is that?” For half a second, I thought he was gonna say something to Dean, then he just wiped the blood away and was all “I’m good,” and I just screamed “YOU FUCKING LIAR!!”

What the fuck, Sam? What… How long have you been hiding this? What’s going on? Why won’t you tell Dean? I’M SO CONFUSED. Dude, Sam, you JUST got of my “Winchesters I Wanna Punch in the Face” list LAST episode. Now, Dean’s the one off the hook and you’re BACK ON IT. You couldn’t even go a couple of episodes without getting back on my list, could you? DAMN IT. I hate Winchesters. I just hate them. Except Adam. ‘Cos he certainly doesn’t deserve my hate.

That whole “coughing up blood” thing came out of freaking NOWHERE. There were no warning signs, no hints earlier in the episode that something was going on with Sam. Nothing to indicate that we should be suspicious or worry about him and then BAM. Sam’s coughing blood and NOT SAYING A DAMN THING ABOUT IT. What. The. Fuck?

I can’t even wrap my head around this. Is this a result of the “Trials” thing? Has this been happening and he just hasn’t said anything? Is he sick? Is he dying? Did someone put a spell on him? (Hah, actually, a friend came up with a hilarious crack!theory of Amelia being a witch and hexing him… Riot, the dog, was obviously Amelia’s familiar in this scenario… I love my friends.)

*sighs* I guess there really is no way for me to win with this damn show. Supernatural is determined to screw with my head until it explodes from the pressure of the constant mind fucks. Not to mention the emotional TORTURE that the show puts me through. Jeesh.

Remind me again why I watch this show? Oh, right. It’s awesome.

I should be institutionalized.

I was going on about the latest Supernatural episode to a friend (who does not watch the show) and halfway through my rather long-winded rant, she just stopped me and asked “Why do you care so much about these people? They aren’t real!”

(In case you’re wondering, she’s not a very GOOD friend…)

Anyway, it actually got me to thinking, because I do talk and talk and talk about these character and about how much it hurts when I see them hurt. Especially last Wednesday’s episode, with Dean giving his customary “I’m totally worthless,” speech again. Honestly, either I’m a masochist or I just have no soul because a sane person would not continue to put themselves in such a position to be hurt again and again.

After thinking (and thinking and thinking) I’ve decided that this show means quite a lot to me for many reasons. I am a fandom nerd, I admit it. I obsess over many fandoms, Supernatural is only one of them. However, it has become the one that I obsess over the most. It’s the one that hurts the most, the one that I get the most excited for and the one I spend the majority of my time annoying friends with.

The thing that attracted me to the show wasn’t the monsters and the fight scenes… It was the characters.

First it was Sam and Dean and their relationship with one another. Their bond, that Die-For-Each-Other love is what makes them so amazing. Those moments whenever I can watch them interacting and smiling and teasing each other…

There are those awful periods where Sam and Dean are fighting, and it just tears at my heart to see them at odds. I get the intense urge to grab then and throw them into a room, telling them they either hug and make up or they die. A lot of this season has had me screaming at my computer screen in anger because of their fighting. Thankfully, the latest episodes are bringing me hope and the direction that things are going is making me very, very happy.

Then there’s John Winchester. A lot of people seem to hate John and claim that he was a bad father, but John was always doing the very best that he could do and he loved no one more than his sons. He wasn’t the best father in the world, but the fact that he tried is what makes me love him so much. Many fathers don’t even do that.

The worst part is, I had always thought that John’s loyalty to family, him drilling that same loyalty and family responsibility into his children… I thought that was because his own father had taught him the same. Then we met Henry and I realized that it was just the opposite. John was so dedicated to his family, because he was striving to be the father he never had.

And it’s not just the Winchesters that have managed to wrap themselves up into my heart. From the moment he was introduced I was in love with Castiel and he only became a more and more compelling and relatable character as the show moved forward.

The thing about Cas that I love so much is the fact that I relate to him so well. I mean, I can find things that remind me of myself in the other characters, but with Cas his struggle with faith, both in himself and in God, was very similar to my own struggles with faith and religion. Something just… clicked with Cas. There isn’t a character on the show I’m more willing to forgive for any wrongdoing than Cas.

I’ve been angry with Sam and Dean for months at a time, but I can’t really ever seem to be too mad at Cas, even whenever he didn’t listen to Dean or when he nearly got them all killed… I just wanted to hug him and tell him it would be okay, but I couldn’t make myself be angry at him.

So… maybe it does sound a little strange to say that I get angry at fictional characters, or that I cry when they’re hurt, or that whenever things are looking up for them I smile, but these characters are so real that I cannot help it. I connect with them, I love them, I hate them and I want them to win and be happy. They’re very real to me. That’s why this show means so much to me. That’s why I care.

Episode 1×01: Pilot

Written by: Eric Kripke

Directed by: David Nutter

Originally Aired: September 13, 2005 (my 13th birthday, actually)

Before we start anything, let me just say that I have seen every episode of Supernatural to date and I can tell this story frontwards and backwards. I will try very hard not to talk about anything that happens at a later point in time, but if I do, please forgive me… Now, let’s jump right in there.

So the episode starts in Lawrence, Kansas in a quaint little house with a nice looking family. Daddy John, Mother Mary, little baby Sam and four year old Dean. The first sign we get of anything supernatural is after Sam is put to bed and lights start flicking inside his (creepy) nursery filled with dolls that make me wanna cry. I don’t know how that poor baby survived this.

Anyway, Mary hears Sam crying and goes to check on him. John is silhouetted against the crib, so she starts to go back to bed, only to hear the TV on downstairs. She goes to check and realizes… dun dun dun… John is asleep in the recliner.

Now, in all honesty, I can’t understand why Mary didn’t just wake John up and tell him that there was someone else in the house, but she rushes back upstairs and we cut to John, sleeping and hear Mary scream. The next thing we see Is John running into Sammy’s nursery to find everything is fine and dandy. Until he notices that his wife is bleeding on the ceiling. Then she erupts into fire. I can only imagine what this poor baby is thinking during all this horror.


John grabs Sammy and runs into little Dean in the hall. Entrusting the four year old with the six month old’s life, he tells Dean to take Sam and get outside before going back into the flaming nursery in a vain attempt to save his wife, who is, by all odds, already dead anyway. Cut to Dean in the front yard with little Sam in his arms and just as flames erupt form the second story windows, John shows up and grabs them both. Voila, twenty-two years of vengeance are born!

We then end up in present time (2005) at Stanford University, entering the scene with a photo of John and Mary and a young couple, Jessica and Sam. Sam being, of course, the baby from the introduction, all grown up and celebrating his score of 174 on the LSAT. It’s Halloween and Sam refuses to dress up, possibly because he’s allergic to fun, though I suppose the more likely reason is that he’s spent his life knowing monsters are real and if I knew that, I’d be reluctant to dress up like them too.

That night, his super-sensitive hearing alerts him to someone breaking into his apartment. He sneaks downstairs, has an awesome fight that is pretty much entirely in shadows and still looks totally badass and realizes that the intruder is none other than big brother Dean who is, apparently “Lookin’ for a beer,”

I’m going to stop here and tell you guys that at this point, I was just distracted by the fact that Sam and Dean are both so gorgeous it hurts to think about. In fact, I can say that about pretty much every one on the show (including John Winchester). It’s like some rule that only beautiful people can be in this show.

I would give anything to touch his hair...

I would give anything to touch his hair…


I just wanna kiss those lips. I mean... *sigh*

I just wanna kiss those lips. I mean… *sigh*

There’s something about Sam’s hair that makes me a little crazy and I’d give anything I could to just touch Dean’s lips… But that sounds creepy so we’re moving on.

So Dean’s there to get Sam’s help because their dad has been away on a “hunting trip” (I wonder what that could mean…) and hasn’t been home in a few days. They go outside whisper-arguing about the fact that Sam can’t just ditch his normal life and he has an interview at Harvard the next Monday. Eventually, we know, Sam loses said argument and tells Jess he’ll be back in time to make the interview.

It’s at this point that I’m forced to point out that, yes, even the CAR is gorgeous. A black 1967 Chevy Impala that I am jealous of because she gets to have all these hot guys riding inside of her… Life’s just not fair, guys. I mean, seriously, when you become jealous of a car, maybe you should rethink your priorities… But of course, I won’t.

Seriously, look at this gorgeous car!

Seriously, look at this gorgeous car!


We cut to the town of Jericho where we meet some guy telling his girlfriend he can’t come over because he’s got to go to work in the morning. Then he spots a beautiful woman on the side of the road, just… standing there. Really, it’s totally creepy. Apparently, this dude never heard about the rule where you don’t pick up strangers and found absolutely nothing disturbing about this random chick who appeared out of nowhere and he gives her a ride.

As you can guess, this doesn’t end well. The creepy chick basically tells the guy she wants him to bang her and he being not the most chivalrous and faithful of dudes forgets all about his girlfriend and says sure. She leads him to her creepy, totally haunted looking house and… he dies. In a bloody, wonderful explosion. This is what happens to guys who cheat on their girlfriends, just sayin’.

So, apparently this town is the last place John was, so Sam and Dean show up after a brief convo about Dean’s (awesome) tastes in music. (We also get one of my favorite lines from the show: Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.) and we’re listening to “Back in Black” as they ride into town.

They come up to the bridge where the dead guy’s car was found. Apparently there was no sign of blood and the guy just vanished – which only makes me wonder how in hell the ghost chick cleaned up the blood and where the hell did she hide the body. Questions, which, I’m sorry to say, are never answered.

They insult the local police and pretend to be US Marshalls because Dean just happens to have the fake badges. And there is some brotherly bickering as Sam steps on Dean’s foot and Dean smacks Sam in the head. I can already feel myself falling in love with these guys.

They find out that there have been other missing cases just like this, the only thing they have in common is the same stretch of road where they vanish and they’re all dudes. So they go talk to the guy’s girlfriend, pretending to be his uncles. Seriously, she bought that, which surprises me because you’d think she’d know her boyfriend’s family at least a little. Also, Sam and the boyfriend couldn’t be that far apart in age so unless the guy had a brother or sister who’s a lot older than him or who had kids young… Not happening. Maybe her grief clouded her judgment… Ah well.

She tells them a story about a woman who died on the highway and, legend goes, kidnaps men and they’re never seen again. Alright, cool. I love those kind of stories about haunted roadways and ghosts that kill people. I used to make up stories like that to scare my little brother.

They go look up murders along the highway and don’t get anything, so Sam pushes Dean out of the way rather than just tell him his theory and Dean gets annoyed and bit by bit they’re stealing my heart. Sam types in “suicides” along the highway and they come up with Constance Welch, who killed herself after her kids drowned in the bathtub. My one complaint about this scene is that this isn’t how search engines work. The engine would’ve picked up on the details about the highway and pulled up the story of Constance’s suicide even with the murder in the search. But anyway.

They check out the bridge that night and have a look around. Sam and Dean have a fight about finding “the thing that killed Mom,” and Sam wants to know what revenge is going to do for them anyway since it won’t bring their mom back. Dean, obviously emotion, shoves Sam and tells him to never talk like that again. It hasn’t even been one episode and I already hate watching these two fighting, it kind breaks my heart.

The fight gets interrupted by ghost chick – err, Constance, as she appears and dives off the bridge before possessing Dean’s car. They run and dive over the edge of the bridge. Sam manages to hold on, but Dean ends up in the mud. (And even covered in slimy mud, the dude is still sexy – like I said, it’s just not fair!)


They find a motel in town and realize it’s the same place their dad stayed and the guy lets them into the room. It’s clearly been abandoned in a hurry, because John left EVERYTHING except his clothes behind. Even a partly eaten cheeseburger and, seriously ew. There are salt rings around the bed and papers tacked to the walls. I’m not an expert, but I’d figure after a few days the motel cleaners would’ve done something about this mess… But maybe since John rented the room for a month they didn’t bother to check.

Anyway, Dean showers and we get another beautiful brother moment with lines I just adore:

Dean: Hey, no chick flick moments

And also this:

Sam: Jerk.
Dean: Bitch.

Which becomes they’re way of saying “I love you,”. And yep, it’s official, I’m in love.

Anyway, John did the work for them and figured out that Constance was a Woman in White, whatever that means. They apparently need to find the dead girl’s body and burn it, so Sam says he’ll look into it and Dean heads to get something to eat while Sam listens to a voicemail from Jess telling him she loves him and she misses him. Which is sweet and totally not making me worry at all.

Dean spots the cops he’s insulted earlier talking to the motel manager and gives Sam the heads-up that they’ve been caught and Sam takes off while Dean gets arrested and is a total smart ass about the whole thing, which only makes me love him more.

Dean: Problem, Officers?
Cop: Where’s your partner?
Dean: Partner? What partner?
Cop: [motions to motel room] So… Fake US Marshalls, fake credit cards… You got anything that’s real?
Dean: My boobs.

And of course, later in the interrogation room:

Sheriff: So, you wanna give us your real name?
Dean: I told you, it’s Nugent. Ted Nugent.

So anyway, Dean’s a little busy, so Sam goes and talks to Constance’s husband and we find out what a Woman in White is… It’s a woman whose husband cheated on her, so she kills the kids then, in grief, kills herself and then her spirit is cursed and she goes around killing unfaithful guys. My first thought was: Wow, that’s… oddly specific. Does that… happen a lot then? I’d look it up, but I’m scared to find out how often that really happens. Anyway, Sam kinda pisses the guy off when he tells him what a woman in white is, but the guy basically says “Yeah, I cheated on her,”

It’s actually a pretty moving scene, because the guy is so close to breaking down and I feel bad for him… Sure, he cheated on her, but he apparently loved her and he lost his wife and kids all at once and… That’s gotta be hard to deal with.

Sam finds out where Constance is buried and apparently it’s right behind the house where she killed her kids. That’s creepy. Why on earth would you burry her there? Sam makes a fake 911 call to get Dean out and Dean manages to get out of the cuffs, steal his dad’s journal (which the cops confiscated) and bolted. Apparently, their dad left them a message in Marine-code, telling them where they needed to go.

Sam wonders what the hell is going on, if their dad just bailed in the middle of a job and suddenly he rams right into dead chick and she locks the car doors and drive the car all the way to her spooky haunted house, saying “I can never go home,”

This is weird. Why would she go there if she CAN’T go there. It’s also kinda depressing since we now know her story. She killed her kids there and she’s just staring up at the house looking absolutely depressed and I kind feel bad for her. Then she attacks Sam and kisses him.

He tells her she can’t kill him because he’s never been unfaithful and she just says “You will be,” before vanishing and reappearing as a scary as hell zombie looking ghost chick…


She grabs Sam’s chest and he starts screaming then Dean shows up and for some reason just starts shooting at the GHOST. Because, sure, why not. It works, apparently, since she vanished long enough for Sam to drive the car through the front porch.

Dean runs into to check on Sam and Dead chick slams a desk against them, but then she’s stopped when two of the most creepy little kids in the history of ever show up and she screams and they hug her and she melts into a puddle on the floor in a barrage of disturbing ass imagery that looks like it came from a horror anime and I felt like a wimp for wanting to cover my eyes for a second, but then it was over.

We get another couple of awesome lines.

Sam: What were you thinking shooting Casper in the face, you freak?!

Dean: If you screwed up my car, I’ll kill you! [Cut to them driving down the road with a busted headlight]

They have a brief argument about Sam continuing to look for John, but Sam wins this one, insisting he can’t just give up his life, this is what he’s always wanted. No hunting, no monsters, just a normal, safe life with a  girlfriend and a career where he doesn’t get attacked every day.

Sam goes into the apartment and finds cookies waiting for him and hears the shower, so he takes a cookie, flops down on the bed and I’ve got a bad feeling this won’t end well. And of course… it doesn’t. Little drops of blood suddenly drip down on Sam’s head and he opens his eyes to see, you guessed it:


Jessica. Pinned to the ceiling just like his mom. Seconds later, fire erupts and Sam just screams and stares up at her like he can’t believe this is real.

Luckily, Dean apparently decided to screw Sam’s normal life and shows up just in time to pull Sam out before he burned to death. We end with a shot similar to that from the intro: fire trucks and police all gathered outside the burning apartment. Sam is standing over the Impala’s truck, fiddling with a gun. He throws it in as Dean walks over, looks at Dean and says “We’ve got work to do,” before slamming the trunk. The end.

I’ve got to say, as far as pilot episodes go, this one was amazing and I really did fall in love with Sam and Dean that quickly. Their relationship is just so perfectly played and they’re both such amazing and interesting characters that I connected very quickly and wanted to know more. I was hooked and never looked back.