Posts Tagged ‘Angst’

Still not dead, guys, I swear.

But seriously, sorry for the irregular posting. I keep saying I’ll get back to posting regularly and then I just never do because something comes up. *Le sigh*

Still, even though it’s late, I want to talk about “#Thinman”. (I kind of ranted a bit about this on FB until a friend basically said “It’s SPN, what did you expect?” and I had to concede their point…)

So I was super excited for Ghostfacers to be back because I love Ed and Harry and also because those two wonderful people are the longest living, recurring characters on SPN thus far. They have not died once guys. And Sam and Dean say they’re incompetent. Pfft, right.

I was all geared up for their return, fully expecting an entertaining, awesome and LIGHT HEARTED episode. Because it’s Ed and Harry and there cannot be angst in Ghostfacer-Land. It’s like… illegal or something, alright? Well the SPN writers didn’t get the memo because they fucking had to go and throw a shit-ton of angst on us, complete with a heartbreaking parallel to Sam and Dean’s current (infuriating) situation.

Come on, Supernatural, that’s just cruel. You know we love Ed and Harry because they’re funny and they bring us some much needed comic relief! You can’t just turn around and punch us in the feels like that! IT’S SO NOT RIGHT!

I will say that I loved the Thinman thing and kind of had a weird heart attack/fangirl moment when I realized that they were parodying Slender Man. (Err… is parody the right word? Probably not… Close enough.)

I hated that they ended it with them going their separate ways. Way to crush my soul, guys. Seriously. It’s not okay. It will never be okay. Why do I let this show do this to me, dammit?!

On a lighter note – Sam and Dean reminiscing about their childhood was so freaking sweet! The idea of little Sam and Dean dressed at Batman and Superman and jumping off a roof together and then Dean taking Sam to the hospital… Ugh, my heart melted. It truly did. (Though I had to grit my teeth when Dean said he was Superman ‘cos I know Superman has lots of fans and all, but I truly detest him. Batman FTW, seriously. Superman can go fuck himself. It took a lot for me not to snap at the TV for even mentioning the name. That’s how bad my – irrational – hatred for Superman goes…)

But yeah, so that’s what I thought of the episode. It was fantastic, but it crushed my soul and somehow proved that I ridiculously still have some small amount of hope that SPN hasn’t quite managed to crush yet. What is WRONG with me?

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So, I’ve been thinking an awful lot about this season lately and since most of today has been taken up with Doctor Who (Moffat, you seriously are ruining my emotions) and I’ve been dwelling too much on huge schemes and plans only sadistic writers can possibly come up with… My brain has gotten a bit derailed.

But last week’s episode, “Freaks and Geeks”, was surprisingly not traumatizing (my friend says that’s because they’re trying to lull us into a false sense of security) and that promo made me literally jump off the couch and gape at the TV… I just can’t stop thinking about where this season is going.

Now, I’m not predicting anything, mostly because I hate to try and predict what’s gonna happen – what if I’m right and I totally spoiled it? Or if I’m wrong and disappointed? – I’m not the best at self-restraint and let me tell you, I’ve gone over dozens of ways that Supernatural will end (for good, that is).

But for now, I’m just gonna focus on this particular season.

It has been brought to my attention that the finale is to be titled “Sacrifice”. What with the trials for closing Hell going on right now, that does not make me optimistic. At worst, it means that either Sam or Dean is going to die again (I simply refuse to accept Castiel’s death being the ‘sacrifice’ in question) and at best… at best they’re talking about a sacrifice that has nothing to do with death.

Since this is Supernatural, that’s almost an impossibility.

Now, I’ve never been one to just give up on a TV show. To date, the ONLY show I was once obsessed with and stopped watching is CSI and I gave the show a running chance before finally losing interest. However, I have to say that I’ll probably be upset if season 8 ends with Sam or Dean dying again – especially if it’s Dean.

Hear me out, this isn’t because I don’t like them dying. I mean, I don’t, but I know they’ll come back so that’s not the issue. The issue is that it’s been done as the finale SO MANY TIMES. Season 3 – Dean’s dragged to Hell. Season 4 – Cas is exploded by Raphael.Season 5 – Sam jumps in the Cage. Season 6 – Castiel absorbs the Leviathans. Season 7 – Dean and Cas are sucked into Purgatory.

If Dean dies at the end of this season, I will be pissed. Because he died last season and the guy deserves a freakin’ break, okay? If Sam dies, I may be more lenient (strange, coming from a SamGirl) but that depends on exactly why and how his death happens. Honestly, the whole “Let’s end the season with Sam or Dean dead” thing is a bit done, ya know? I want to see something different this season. And that doesn’t mean I want Cas to die, because I swear, if THAT happens, I’ll put a fist through my TV screen.

Now, as far as closing the Gates of Hell goes… It might sound awful, but I want them to lose. I do not want them to be able to close the Gates of Hell, I do not ever want the Gates of Hell sealed off. They lose so many potential bad guys and it would also mean the loss of Crowley and the impossibility of Lucifer ever coming back and also, it would mean Adam is permanently trapped down there. I can’t accept those ideas as fact. I refuse.

Since they discovered the tablet and Kevin told them about the possibility of sealing Hell, my friend Beth has been adamant that it’s all a trap that’ll actually open the Cage. I’d love for that to happen because, holy Hell, imagine the awesomeness that would ensue. Of course, I’m doubtful of that being the case, but a girl can dream, right?

I mean, even if they can close Hell off, I want there to be serious repercussions. This cannot come without a heavy price and, as I said, I’m not overly fond of the price being Sam or Dean’s life… Or Cas’.

I flipped around the possibility of the “Sacrifice” in question being that Sam (because he’s the one doing the trials) having to literally sacrifice someone he loves. If that’s true (shit, think of how awesome yet awful that’d be) Dean would be the best candidate, but I think I’d love for it to be Amelia if that were the case. (And yeah, that’s probably because if my intense hatred of that annoying totally-not-a-fucking-unicorn Mary-Sue.)

Anyway, just a little bit of my own musings about this year’s finale… I’m excited for it, but dreading it as anyone should dread a season finale of Supernatural. I really hope they don’t end with Sam or Dean dying, but I’m sure as Hell not gonna say that if it happens I’ll never watch the show again. Supernatural always finds new ways of surprising me and I’m sure this finale will be no different.

First off, that opening sequence made me nearly scream out loud. All those dead Deans everywhere… And Cas killing him. It nearly ripped my freaking heart out. I just… Oh my gawd, there were literally THOUSANDS of dead Deans just… just lying there and Cas had killed them ALL. He was like a freaking terminator. It was like soulless Sam only, much much worse.

And things only got even worse whenever Sam and Dean met up with Cas and he was all… not-Cas. I hate watching Cas act like not-Cas and I want to kill Naomi. Brutally. With a chainsaw. And boiling acid. Plus maybe a kraken and I’ll need a light saber and I’d love the practice the Cruciatus curse on her. And maybe hit her with Thor’s hammer and use Captain America’s sheild to bash her ribcage in. Point is, I hate her. A lot.

And of course Dean finally realizes there is something wrong with Sam and finds the bloody napkin. I knew he wasn’t going to take long to figure it out and I’m still pissed at Sam for hiding it, but more importantly, what Cas said is freaking me out. “Damaged in ways even I can’t heal” What? WHAT? *eye twitch*

I’m so glad that Dean finally noticed, and I’m still a bit pissed off at Sam for not telling Dean. I kinda wanted to punch him when he was all “I’m totally fine” Yeah, sure you are Sam. People cough up blood constantly because they’re totally healthy. STOP LYING. Damn it, Sam, you’re not an idiot. Dean’s not an idiot. You should’ve realized you couldn’t hide that from him.

And Meg! Meg!! I was so freaking happy to see Meg again and I wanted to hug her and she was there and it was wonderful. Much as I love her, I hated her flirting with Cas because… dang it, Meg, get your own angel, Dean’s already laid claim to Cas! I mean, her talk with Cas was awesome and I loved her flirting, but… Cas flirting back was just… no. Sorry, but I couldn’t help but scream “STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP!” Heh.

Ahem. Anyway. Meg’s little heart-to-heart with Sam was adorable and sweet and I was actually loving it. It’s nice to see the almost human side of Meg. Then she compared Amelia to a fucking unicorn and I wanted to scream. AMELIA IS NOT SOME FUCKING SPECIAL, WONDERFUL WOMAN. SAM QUIT HUNTING YEARS AGO AND WAS IN LOVE WITH JESSICA!! AMELIA ISN’T THE FIRST CHICK! Hell, Dean quit hunting when he was with Lisa. She’s not fucking special, SPN writers, stop trying to make me think so. Don’t ever mention her again or I’ll break something.

*deep breath* Anyway.

I gotta admit, I loved Crowley being pissed about Sam killing the Hellhound. Though I totally expected him to be more pissed, I guess he was more preoccupied with the Angel tablet and everything. Still. That part made me grin a bit. I’ve got a weird fascination with Hellhounds and kinda cried a little whenever Sam had to kill Crowley’s Hellhound. I knew Crowley wouldn’t take that well…

I think the scene with Cas nearly killing Dean broke me a little. Or a lot. I was screaming at the TV. I wanted Cas to kill that fucking bitch. Why the hell isn’t Naomi dead. Why does she exist? How does she know Crowley? WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING AND WHAT DID SHE DO TO CAS? CAN WE PLEASE KILL HER ALREADY???

Crowley showing up surprised me. Meg facing him and letting Sam get Dean and escape surprised me… Cas vanishing with the tablet shocked the hell out of me.

Crowley killing Meg broke my already shattered soul.

C-Can I please pretend that part didn’t happen? I mean… maybe… maybe she’s okay. Maybe she was just faking dead. Maybe…maybe … *sobs*

Fucking Supernatural. How dare you bring back the awesomeness that is Meg and KILL HER? Bastards. I mean, not that I wanted Crowley to die, but COME ON. Meg can’t be dead. That didn’t happen. She’s okay. She has to be okay. Please let her be okay.

*sobbing pathetically*

I hate this show. Goddamn it.

My little sister asked me, after I had finished the episode and was screaming about the pain, why I don’t just stop watching it.

I don’t have a real answer. Other than the fact that I’m a sick, sick person and I’m apparently a masochist. There is no other reason for me to put myself through this. Goddamn it, SPN, you’re not even pretending anymore are you? You’re just determined to kill me, aren’t you? WE WON’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. STOP IT. STOP.

Who the hell am I kidding. SPN fans are hooked. We’ll come back for more pain every time. We’re screwed up like that. It’s an abusive relationship…

So, last night/tonight’s SPN episode was amazing and we got to learn more about witches, which was very cool. Since I’m sick, but my medicine hasn’t allowed me to sleep yet, I decided to post a few thoughts on the episode here…

Maybe it’s because I just started reading the 2nd Dresden Files book, but I totally kept expecting Harry Dresden to show up, he would’ve fit perfectly into tonight’s episode. I mean, the SPN witches are very close to the Dresden Files witches and Harry being a Wizard and PI, it would make perfect sense for me him to show up. But that’s just my newest addiction bleeding through. Probably.

But in all seriousness, Harry would’ve been helpful and maybe it’s also my strange obsession with crossovers, but I can see it all so perfectly in my head. Come on, tell me it doesn’t make absolutely perfect sense. Anyway.

I loved getting to see into the witch community. We’ve never gotten to do that before and it was very interesting and I loved Portia and her interaction with Sam and Dean… Ah, Dean was so cute when he said “I like dogs,” and I was just shaking my head. Oh Dean. Don’t you ever change. (As a side note, I’m actually pretty damn proud of Dean for not once saying the word “bestiality” in the whole episode…)

I was actually shedding HAPPY tears at the end of this episode. Which, for SPN, is remarkable in and of itself. That’s hardly ever (if ever…) happened. But Dean calling Sam “Sammy” gets me every time and he’s done it a couple of times this season and it makes my heart swell and I just… Aw…

Also, going off on a bit of tangent, but… Sam’s confrontation with Dean about Dean not being able to trust anyone but himself… Okay, first, yeah, Sam’s probably right about that (though I think Dean wanting to protect Sam is a big motivational factor…) but I just was like… “Wait, I… I’m the exact same way. Are you… are you telling me wanting to do something yourself because you don’t trust anyone else to do it right is BAD? Shit…” Seriously. I end up doing shit I don’t want to do, simply because I don’t think anyone else can do it the way it’s supposed to be done. Is that really a bad thing?? I suppose maybe it is. Damn it. Anyway, moving on.

After Dean was all, “I DO trust you,” and everything, I was smiling and my eyes were watering from happy tears… Then Sam started coughing. At first, I was like “Oh look, Sam’s got the same damn flu I do…” Then blood came out of his mouth. And I was like “Shit. What the hell is that?” For half a second, I thought he was gonna say something to Dean, then he just wiped the blood away and was all “I’m good,” and I just screamed “YOU FUCKING LIAR!!”

What the fuck, Sam? What… How long have you been hiding this? What’s going on? Why won’t you tell Dean? I’M SO CONFUSED. Dude, Sam, you JUST got of my “Winchesters I Wanna Punch in the Face” list LAST episode. Now, Dean’s the one off the hook and you’re BACK ON IT. You couldn’t even go a couple of episodes without getting back on my list, could you? DAMN IT. I hate Winchesters. I just hate them. Except Adam. ‘Cos he certainly doesn’t deserve my hate.

That whole “coughing up blood” thing came out of freaking NOWHERE. There were no warning signs, no hints earlier in the episode that something was going on with Sam. Nothing to indicate that we should be suspicious or worry about him and then BAM. Sam’s coughing blood and NOT SAYING A DAMN THING ABOUT IT. What. The. Fuck?

I can’t even wrap my head around this. Is this a result of the “Trials” thing? Has this been happening and he just hasn’t said anything? Is he sick? Is he dying? Did someone put a spell on him? (Hah, actually, a friend came up with a hilarious crack!theory of Amelia being a witch and hexing him… Riot, the dog, was obviously Amelia’s familiar in this scenario… I love my friends.)

*sighs* I guess there really is no way for me to win with this damn show. Supernatural is determined to screw with my head until it explodes from the pressure of the constant mind fucks. Not to mention the emotional TORTURE that the show puts me through. Jeesh.

Remind me again why I watch this show? Oh, right. It’s awesome.

I should be institutionalized.