Archive for the ‘Theories and Headcannons’ Category

It’s been too long since my last post (sorry! Getting prepared for Finals and Thanksgiving and all that…) but I haven’t forgotten this.

Since several episodes have passed since my last post I think now is as good a time as any for me to take a step back and just give you guys my opinion of the season thus far.

I was looking forward to season 9 since before the final episode of season 8 finished airing. I waited impatiently for months for the premier of season 9, expecting and pretty much demanding an epic season 9.

And I was not, at first, disappointed. The season 9 premier? One of my newest favorite episodes. It had Cas being confused and Dean being angsty and somewhat hypocritical and it had Sam treading that line between wanting to go on and wanting to just finally have peace. It had Ezekiel, who I really, really love and everyone was fantastic.

The next episode was… good. It was really good. Especially Dean’s scene with Abaddon and Kevin and Crowley together? God was that wonderful. It wouldn’t make my top 10 or anything, but I enjoyed it.

As for the next slew of episodes? They were good too. Nothing was bad about them and there were some really kick-ass moments all around for everyone, but I really started to feel a bit underwhelmed. It’s not that I don’t like season 9, it’s just that, so far, season 8 was better and that’s even taking *twitch* Amelia *twitch* into consideration.

I do have some specific issues, mostly with the two episodes “Dog Dean Afternoon” (9×05) and “Slumber Party” (9×04).

I’m gonna start withy 9×05 because I had less issues with it.

This was the fifth episode of the season and the fifth episode in a row in which Sam was either nearly killed or knocked out. Episode one we had Sam in a coma and dying, which worked fine because I totally get the trials having a nasty effect on him. Episode we had Sam getting knocked out by a bunch of demons. Fair enough; there were three or four demons and Sam was still in “recovery” mode for the most part. Episode three we had Sam getting knocked out by the April and then Cas died and Zeke brought him back. Episode four we had Sam get whammied by the Wicked Witch and Charlie was killed and brought back. Episode five we had Sam attacked by the shape-shifter-ish guy and nearly killed and then saved (again) by Zeke.

At which point I ripped at my hair and screamed: SAM IS NOT THIS BAD AT HUNTING. He’s actually supposed to be good at hunting. Why the flying fuck is he getting batted around and knocked out all the time lately? We get it! Zeke is possessing Sam and so can save him in a time of need. Please stop smashing us over the head with that already. Zeke already said Sam’s healing pretty well, so there’s really no point to the bashing Sam’s been taking. He’s a good hunter, guys. Better than this, certainly. So stop it.

Other than that minor(ish) point, however, the episode was fantastic and I laughed ’til there were tears in my eyes. I miss the Colonel. I want him to come back just because he was totally awesome.

Now… onto “Slumber Party”

*deep breath*

Guys, I liked this episode. It was okay. It was good, even. I wanted to love it. I mean, come on, it’s the Wizard of Oz! It’s Dorothy and the Men of Letters and the Wicked Witch and everything! Flying Monkeys! Oz! I honestly did not expect anything less than epic.

I was sorely disappointed.

The episode was just… not great. Again, good, but just… so flat compared to the epicness I expected (and that something like this deserved). I just don’t feel like it was treated right. It was weirdly random and off-point. The Wicked Witch? Yeah, not scary. The whole “being trapped together” thing and the way the Witch and Dorothy were set free? Contrived, bordering on stupid.

The key to Oz? Where did that even come from? It felt so random.

I did like the concept and the Witch taking over Sam and Dean was really cool (not to mention that garage! All those drool worthy cars…). Charlie is always a welcome character and I was glad she got to kick butt again…

But then there’s the whole Witch-Killing-Charlie thing that served no purpose and just felt like forced drama. I mean, really, if you’re going to just bring her back, there’s NO POINT in killing her off. None. It was stupid. Not to mention it was the second episode in a row to kill a character and bring them back. It might not have bothered me so much had we not just had Zeke resurrect Castiel in the episode directly prior to it.

And then there’s Dorothy…

First, I love the idea of Dorothy being a Hunter and her father a Man of Letters and the idea that the books were written to tell her story (and were slight biased, explaining the misinformation). I really adored the idea of kick-ass Dorothy killing witches and fighting the good fight in Oz.

Except… Dorothy didn’t do a whole lot of kicking ass. In fact, she didn’t do really much at all except talk. Her fight with Sam and Dean while they were under the spell was pathetic and that was her chance to really shine and show how badass she could be and she just… stood there. I mean, come on, Dorothy, stop posing in the fighting-stance and kick some Winchester ass! That’s what I wanted to see and I was so upset that it didn’t happen.

Honestly, the episode was just… mediocre and sort of meandering and weird. Still good, but too flawed for something I wanted to be epic.

There was one cool thing about the episode though. Charlie admitting she’d been hunting and her realization that it wasn’t magical – because it isn’t and I loved her wanting it to be. But that’s okay, because she went to Oz with Dorothy and they’re totally going to get married by Glenda in Munchkin Land and it’ll be spectacular!

My issues with the Oz episode aside, this season has been really good so far. Really good. Fantastic and epic in some places. Plodding, but still satisfying in others. And “Heaven Can’t Wait” made up for much of the disappointment of “Slumber Party” by being amazing, intriguing and having Cas sing to a sick baby, which was adorable.

I’ve been discussing this quite a lot with friends recently. Mostly because I enjoy talking about the villains of my favorite fandoms (I dunno who I love more… Loki, the Joker, the Master or Lucifer… Or Hannibal. Can I have them all?). A common idea that keeps popping up, however is that Supernatural’s most infamous and evil villain is God.

Disclaimer: Please note that I am speaking ONLY of the character of God in the television series “Supernatural” and not any actual religious deity. This post in no way reflects my opinions on religion, Christianity, or God.

Let me break it down a little bit (though I’m sure some of you can already see what I’m saying):

The biggest villains in Supernatural were as follows: demons and angels.

Demons only exist because Lucifer rebelled. Lucifer rebelled because God expected him to bow to humanity, which is clearly flawed logical because angels are über awesome.

Azazel killed Samuel and Diana Campbell to get Mary to make a deal for her son. He needed her to make that deal so he could infect Sam with his demon blood and get Sam to open Lucifer’s cage twenty some-odd years later. (It was a very thorough and LONG master plan, after all.)

Lucifer broke out of his Cage because who wants to be stuck in a Cage for eternity? Lucifer used Sam to free himself because it was all part of the Plan. It was all part of the Plan because God said so.

Michael brought Adam back from the dead and used him as bait to get Dean to say yes. Dean’s a stubborn ass and Adam gets the short end of the deal. Why did Michael even WANT Dean as his vessel? BECAUSE GOD SAID SO.

God knew all along that Lucifer would rebel and what it would all lead to… yet did nothing to prevent it and let Lucifer turn Lilith into a demon, thereby cementing his fate and the fate of every other living thing. God forced Michael to cast his own brother (someone Michael clearly cared about) into Hell because of this disobedience rather than KILLING LUCIFER LIKE HE TOTALLY COULD HAVE.

God then promptly ditched the angels, leaving them to their own devices. When Sam and Dean went to him, asking for help stopping Lucifer he said it wasn’t his problem. Yet he CREATED the problem. He had enough forethought to CREATE the plan to fix it, though that plan ensured that Sam and Dean and their family never be happy or have normal, healthy lives.

When Dean was in Hell, God could have gotten him out before he broke. He’s God. He can do anything. He could’ve saved Dean. When Sam was in Hell, God could’ve gotten him out – with his soul. Again, he’s God. He can do that. Hell, when Ruby was manipulating Sam, God could’ve intervened and killed her. He could’ve stopped Lilith. He could’ve killed Lucifer. He could’ve returned to Heaven and straightened his CHILDREN up, putting an end to their “Let’s burn the entire earth” nonsense.

Really, aside from getting Sam and Dean out of that church (and repeatedly forcing Castiel to die and return to life, each time worse than the last for the poor angel) WHAT has God done to assist in cleaning up the utter mess he STARTED.

He made Lucifer. Lucifer rebelled and created demons. God created Hell and made Michael cast Lucifer into it. Lucifer got pissed, decided to destroy all of humanity to show God how wrong he was. Michael got bitter because his brother was stubborn and wouldn’t realized that “daddy knows best”. Gabriel hightailed because his family sucks. God ran away because I guess the pressure of totally being the biggest asshole ever just get to you or something.

 God not only created the problem and did very little to correct it (even though, if he had truly wanted to, he COULD HAVE), he actively avoided fixing the problem and instead decided to use two humans – thereby destroying THEIR lives as well as ruining the angels’ existence – to end the world and/or possibly save everyone.

I highly doubt Lucifer, Azazel or any of the angels or demons would’ve gone after Sam and Dean if they hadn’t KNOWN that it was all supposed to end with them on opposite sides of the final showdown between Heaven and Hell.

The argument could be made that God helped them (as the heavy implication that Chuck is God would suggest) to avoid ending the world, but he didn’t exactly do much considering he’s an all-powerful God, now did he? He could destroy everything and everyone with a thought. He could have stopped Lucifer, he could’ve stopped Michael, he could’ve stopped Raphael.

Hell, in season 6 Castiel prays for guidance on the Purgatory issue and God could’ve at the very least shown him something to let him know how dangerous and wrong the path he was on was at that time, but he didn’t. He did absolutely nothing.

And I’m not particularly fond of the “but he gave them freewill” argument either. God’s actions cannot be justified in the show with that simple statement. He had the opportunity to help, he was asked for guidance and gave none, he abandoned his children and humanity, he ruined the Winchesters’ lives and he knew it was going to happen exactly that way.

So yeah, God’s the biggest asshole in SPN.

Oh wow, look at that! I’m not dead. I’m really sorry for the extreme gap between posts. I haven’t been able to actually get on WordPress outside of a mobile device lately because my personal laptop is on the fritz. *sigh* That, and life is hectic. I just started a new semester (only one more to go!) and I’ve been writing (both fanfics and original work) and reading a LOT. Not to mention I started sporking City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare last month on my FB and slogging through Jace’s bullshit is actually becoming painful.

But anyway. I actually have access to a computer (in campus computer lab) and I’m going to actually give you guys a post for a change! I know, I know. Shocking.

So today’s topic of discussion: Dean’s sexuality.

For the record, I personally believe that Dean Winchester is bisexual. Please note that I do not believe this simply because I’m an avid slash fan or a very proud Destiel shipper. I love Dean and Cas as friends and frankly, though I enjoy entertaining the thought that they’d have sexually romantic relationship, I’m not going to delude myself into thinking either of them would actually do that. That doesn’t change my thoughts on Dean’s sexuality, however. And I’m going to tell you why.

Many people who don’t believe that Dean is gay or bisexual cite Dean’s womanizing ways as proof of his heterosexuality. I’m going to use it for my own argument though.

Dean was raised in a very masculine environment, trained to do the things “real men” should do. John was a very strict military man and while he wasn’t in the marine corps. when Dean was growing up, he still held those ideals and convictions. I doubt Dean would ever feel comfortable admitting to himself, let alone his father, that he found men attractive. And so of course he would try to compensate for that, telling himself that of course he isn’t gay because he clearly likes women. It became a way for Dean to push down those others thoughts and feelings.

If you’ve noticed, in the earlier seasons Dean was very self-conscious and a lot of his self-worth was tied into what his father thought of him. He wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize his image in John’s eyes. He flirted with women, he had lots of random, casual sex with women and rarely had any fulfilling, committed relationships with women.

Dean hated himself. Let’s not argue about that, because it’s canon. He truly felt unworthy, unwanted or downright useless at times and there was a point where he believed he deserved to go to Hell. Questioning his sexuality, among the angst of trying to find himself outside of his father’s ideas, certainly would have added to that.

And since Dean’s return from Hell he’s expressed more romantic inclinations – like his relationship with Lisa. I personally think that Dean wanted that relationship to work more than anything. He put effort into it like he never really had in a romantic relationship and was content for a while, until it fell apart.

As the seasons have gone by and Dean’s learned to accept himself – though, clearly he still has some issues with his self-worth – he’s become more open. In the early years when someone suggested he was gay, Dean would make a smartass retort, turn it into a joke or balk at it disbelieving and wonder how they could think such a thing.

Now, as we saw in “Everybody Hates Hitler”, he is more awkward and sort of dorky as he tries to work his way through the situation of being flirted with by another man. He doesn’t make flippant remarks, immediately deny the accuse of him being gay. Instead, he acts very much like he does when he is flirting seriously. The way he acted with Aaron was very reminiscent of the way he acted around Cassie (season 1, “Route 666”) and Lisa throughout the early episodes of their relationship (mostly in season 3).

It feels very much like Dean is gradually beginning to come into himself. He has stopped seeing himself in terms of what his father (or Sam or Bobby or anyone else) would see him and has started to see himself just as who he is and who he wants to be. He’s happier with himself than he’s ever been – in spite of his belief that he is merely a “grunt”, he seems to have a healthier opinion of himself as a whole.

I could be reading more into this than is really there, but I truly hope that they continue to explore this side of Dean and his newfound confidence in himself. Even if it doesn’t lead to him coming to terms with his sexuality they way I believe he should, I do hope they’ll at least explore Dean’s self-worth and growing confidence in the coming season. It would certainly be an interesting arc.

We haven’t really gone too deep into Dean’s own personal feels in the last couple of seasons and nothing much about his self-worth (at least not at any great length) since season 3. I’d like for them to do that in season nine. Actually, I’d like to see more of that for Sam, Dean and Cas. Season eight did a wonderful job of setting up some very intriguing arcs for all of the characters and I hope that they don’t drop the ball on exploring them once season nine gets here.

Now that I’ve had some time to recover I think it’s time to take a look back at season 8… (Note that when I say “recover” I mostly just mean I ran out of tears. I’m still reeling from the finale)

I can say honestly that season 8 is my new favorite season. I admit, there are aspects of it that I am still not happy with (like, say, Amelia) but all the same, it was a brilliant, heartbreaking, turbulent rollercoaster ride of awesomeness and badassery like we haven’t really seen in a while.

I have never not loved Supernatural, but I will admit that season 6 was a bit of a mess story-wise and season 7 (while wonderful) had more than its share of moments that made me wanna punch things. (Of course, if we’re looking at all the seasons, nothing in the show is worse than season 3…)

Anyway, this season really took the show somewhere new and also brought back some of the old spark that was the reason I fell in love with it in the first place.

Specifically, I’m talking about Sam and Dean and their relationship.

I don’t know if anyone noticed, but after season 5, Sam and Dean didn’t seem as close. Not that they didn’t care about each other, but there were less brother moments, there was more tension and fighting and very little of the brotherly banter in the first few seasons.

But this season really delivered on the Brotherly Love scale. We got to see Sam and Dean like they haven’t been in a long time. Sure, they were fighting (especially in the beginning when Dean was angry at Sam for not looking for him in Purgatory) but they still looked out for each other and their love for each other really became the focus of the season like it hasn’t been in far too long.

Sam’s struggle with the trials, Dean’s struggle to be there for him even when he couldn’t really do anything about what was going on really reminded me a lot of season 2, when they were freaked out about what was happening to Sam because of the YED.

And the finale… Oh god, the scene where Sam tells Dean about his biggest sin. You guys, I was crying buckets. It was so heartbreaking and so beautiful and it really was just so perfect. I was so happy they had that scene because they needed that scene. The last couple of seasons didn’t give us those kinds of scenes like they used to.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Supernatural never fails to surprise me. Just when I think I have things figured out, they change the rules on me.

I was sure that the trials would kill Sam. I was sure of it like I haven’t been sure of anything in a long time. And the worst part is, I was right, but Sam still didn’t die. I totally expected Sam to die in the finale and I have to say and I was pleasantly surprised that not one of the main characters died. We still have Sam, Dean AND Cas.

I said I wanted them to do something different for the finale this year and they did. And I truly loved it even though I’m still freaking out and the fall seems so very far away. I wanna know what happens next NOW.

I was also absolutely certain Naomi would die in the finale – I refused to accept that she would live to go to season 9. I said before that I didn’t even care who killed her or how she died so long as she did and yet again, Supernatural went and changed things on me.

Naomi had to go and apologize and act reasonable and warn them about the danger they were in. THEN they kill her. After she reveals herself to not be a total bitch, they have Metatron shove a drill in her skull.

Not only that, but I trusted Metatron, damn it. I was a bit wary, but I never thought I had anything to actually worry about. I should have listened to my own advice. I always say that you should never trust or like any new character on the show because they always, always turn evil and/or die. ALWAYS.

Supernatural is why I have trust issues.

The story line of this season was just brilliant. The episodes were brilliant. Everything was just brilliant. There was only one not-quite-brilliant-but-still-good episode this season and the only reason I didn’t love that episode was because it’s a crime to have an SPN episode with so little Sam and Dean.

I’m not exaggerating when I say I think this season is the best one yet. The acting, the stories, the cast, the directing, everything was brilliant. It was emotional, it was visceral, it was beautiful and painful and terrifically wonderful.

I only have one concern and that is this: Crowley. They did not finish curing Crowley. Does this mean he will go back to being his demonic self or did the purified blood change him too much? If he does go back to be a demon, will he escape or will Sam and Dean kill him before he can? He’s still chained up in the church. Does he get away? Did they just leave him in there? I’m very, very concerned about the Crowley storyline. I don’t want Crowley to go away just yet.

Also, I’m very interested to see if Abaddon comes back. She smoked out of the body she was in so it’s entirely possible.
And I am extremely anxious to see how they fix the fallen angel problem. (Did anyone else thing it was really beautiful in a depressing way watching all the angels fall?) How are they going to fix thousands of angels thrown out of Heaven? How are they going to solve this one? Are they going to kill Metatron?

I can’t wait to see Sam and Dean and Cas reunited again, working to fix this. I am dying for season 9 already.

Seriously. Why isn’t it Fall yet?

As we prepare for tonight’s episode (Sacrifice, 8×23) of Supernatural I figured I might as well say a few things about my expectations for the episode before I get my heart ripped out and am unable to do anything but choke on my own tears. Besides, maybe if I talk my way through it before the episode, I won’t be catatonic by the end of it…

So, here are a few of my thoughts on what I expect to happen and what I want to happen tonight:

Curing Crowley:

I cannot stress enough how much I do not want this to happen. Crowley having his humanity restored would be even worse than killing him outright. You take away the badass, ruthless demon and Crowley won’t be half as awesome as he is. I couldn’t take that. I’d rather he just be killed. My hope is that Sam and Dean won’t be able to curse him because Abaddon will burst in before they can. (That’s what I think will happen from the promo at least).

I’d much rather Abaddon kill Crowley than Sam and Dean cure him. I mean, I don’t want him to die, but if it’s a choice between the two then you can bet your ass I’d rather see him dead.

Sealing off Hell:

Again, this is something I am vehemently against. I just don’t want them to be successful here. It’s not like I’m rooting for the bad guys (though, with the generally awesome cast of baddies on SPN, that’s not necessarily a bad thing…), but I just can’t figure out how they’d even have a show anymore with Hell sealed off.

It would mean the end of Crowley, which is enough for me to hate it. But it would also effectively destroy any chance of most of the major villains from the series ever coming back or for them to have anywhere near the same level of badassery.

Let’s face it, the demons are their best villains. The Leviathan just pissed me off and while the angels were total dickbags, only Lucifer really lived up to the same level of awesome as their demon villains.

Meg, Azazel, Abaddon, Crowley… They’re the kind of bad guys that this show needs and closing the Gates of Hell would destroy their cast of villains. We’d be stuck with fucking Naomi and no one wants that. No one.

So I want Sam and Dean to lose this one, for the sake of the show. They cannot win. If they do close the Gates of Hell, I expect there to be severe backlash. Like, opening the Cage and freeing Lucifer backlash.

Sealing off Heaven:

This, however, I’m not so against. I will admit, I’m very nervous about these trials Cas is going to have to do. And a friend pointed out that Metatron could very well be hiding something. And given that he’s an angel, there’s likely some unknown agenda there. But still, I really love the idea of slamming the Pearly Gates shut. Plus, the way Metatron talked, it seems like a non-permanent solution so the Gates could be opened again.

It seems like a sound solution for getting thing in Heaven back in order. They need it. Things have been insanely chaotic up there since season 5. And they seem to be getting worse. It’s a sad, sad day when Hell is more organized than Heaven.

Killing Naomi:

Okay… I want this so bad. I just really want Naomi to die. I don’t even care who kills her, I just want to see her dead. I’d prefer for Cas to do it, but I honestly don’t care if it’s Crowley or Dean or Sam… Hell, it could be some nameless angel or demon. I don’t give a fuck, just stab the bitch in the face and put us out of our misery.

The “Sacrifice”:

I’ve already talked a bit about my thoughts on the episode title and what it could mean. I think I’d love for the sacrifice in question to be Sam giving his life up – I’d never, ever forgive them, however, if it’s Dean again. Dean died last season, don’t kill him again.

Besides, the state Sam’s in… he’s not gonna live through this one, I don’t think. It horrifies me, because as you should know I’m a total SamGirl, but it’s not like he’ll be dead permanently. So I’d be okay with it.

I wouldn’t be okay with Cas dying again. I want them to cut Cas a break. Oddly enough, I never want them to cut Sam and Dean a break, but with Cas… damn it, stop picking on him! He’s been through enough. Poor, nerdy little badass warrior of God.

My random, totally-not-gonna-happen-but-dear-Lucifer-if-it-did-theory: The “sacrifice” is Amelia. Sam has to kill Amelia. And he does. Sure, it’ll scar him psychologically, but he spent nearly 200 years in Hell and seems relatively fine now. He’ll get over it. Just kill Amelia and I won’t complain about anything else that happens.

Dean and Cas:

It’s not what you think, I swear. While I totally ship Destiel, I seriously doubt it’ll happen outside of fanfiction and fanvids. No, what I’m talking about is how Dean was a total dick last Wednesday for no reason and Cas clearly was trying to make it up to Dean so what I want, more than anything, from tonight’s finale is for Dean to forgive Cas. And hug him.

I want a Dean/Cas hug, damn it. Cas deserves to be forgiving. I wouldn’t blame Cas if he punched Dean in the face for being such an ass to him.

And, if we can’t get Dean and Cas hugging, can Sam hug him? Please? Because Sam hasn’t hugged Cas and Cas needs a hug, damn it! Someone just hug Cas!

Crowley’s Victims:

So… I’ve been thinking about this. Crowley read Chuck’s books. (And apparently, Chuck has been publishing them again since Crowley knew about Jenny – who was from season 7 – and Charlie knew Sam and Dean saved the world – something they didn’t do until season 5.) And Crowley’s been using the books to find victims…

I know it’s unlikely, if not impossible, but this is just a short list of who I think he should have gone/should go after:

Cassie – Dean’s ex from the racist truck episode, “Route 666

Lucas – the little boy they saved in “Dead in the Water

Michael and/or Asher – the two little boys they saved in “Something Wicked

Tyler – the little girl from “Playthings

Tara – the actress from “Hollywood Babylon

Matt – the kid from “Bugs” (yes, I realize the same actor played Samandriel… but still, it could work!)

Lori – the girl from “Hook Man

Yes, I am aware that there are several children on this list. But if Crowley’s going all out, he might as well. Plus, the kids would be older now. Also, I tried to include more people that Sam connected with… but they all seem to be dead so really, Matt and Lori are all I can think off. Anyway.

I think that’s pretty much everything. I still don’t feel an less anxious about the finale, but hey, maybe I won’t drown on my own tears tonight.

*bursts out laughing*

Yeah right. I’m screwed. Oh well. Time to go prepare my emo corner for when the episode is over. I’ve got a lot of sobbing ahead of me, I think.

So, I’ve been thinking an awful lot about this season lately and since most of today has been taken up with Doctor Who (Moffat, you seriously are ruining my emotions) and I’ve been dwelling too much on huge schemes and plans only sadistic writers can possibly come up with… My brain has gotten a bit derailed.

But last week’s episode, “Freaks and Geeks”, was surprisingly not traumatizing (my friend says that’s because they’re trying to lull us into a false sense of security) and that promo made me literally jump off the couch and gape at the TV… I just can’t stop thinking about where this season is going.

Now, I’m not predicting anything, mostly because I hate to try and predict what’s gonna happen – what if I’m right and I totally spoiled it? Or if I’m wrong and disappointed? – I’m not the best at self-restraint and let me tell you, I’ve gone over dozens of ways that Supernatural will end (for good, that is).

But for now, I’m just gonna focus on this particular season.

It has been brought to my attention that the finale is to be titled “Sacrifice”. What with the trials for closing Hell going on right now, that does not make me optimistic. At worst, it means that either Sam or Dean is going to die again (I simply refuse to accept Castiel’s death being the ‘sacrifice’ in question) and at best… at best they’re talking about a sacrifice that has nothing to do with death.

Since this is Supernatural, that’s almost an impossibility.

Now, I’ve never been one to just give up on a TV show. To date, the ONLY show I was once obsessed with and stopped watching is CSI and I gave the show a running chance before finally losing interest. However, I have to say that I’ll probably be upset if season 8 ends with Sam or Dean dying again – especially if it’s Dean.

Hear me out, this isn’t because I don’t like them dying. I mean, I don’t, but I know they’ll come back so that’s not the issue. The issue is that it’s been done as the finale SO MANY TIMES. Season 3 – Dean’s dragged to Hell. Season 4 – Cas is exploded by Raphael.Season 5 – Sam jumps in the Cage. Season 6 – Castiel absorbs the Leviathans. Season 7 – Dean and Cas are sucked into Purgatory.

If Dean dies at the end of this season, I will be pissed. Because he died last season and the guy deserves a freakin’ break, okay? If Sam dies, I may be more lenient (strange, coming from a SamGirl) but that depends on exactly why and how his death happens. Honestly, the whole “Let’s end the season with Sam or Dean dead” thing is a bit done, ya know? I want to see something different this season. And that doesn’t mean I want Cas to die, because I swear, if THAT happens, I’ll put a fist through my TV screen.

Now, as far as closing the Gates of Hell goes… It might sound awful, but I want them to lose. I do not want them to be able to close the Gates of Hell, I do not ever want the Gates of Hell sealed off. They lose so many potential bad guys and it would also mean the loss of Crowley and the impossibility of Lucifer ever coming back and also, it would mean Adam is permanently trapped down there. I can’t accept those ideas as fact. I refuse.

Since they discovered the tablet and Kevin told them about the possibility of sealing Hell, my friend Beth has been adamant that it’s all a trap that’ll actually open the Cage. I’d love for that to happen because, holy Hell, imagine the awesomeness that would ensue. Of course, I’m doubtful of that being the case, but a girl can dream, right?

I mean, even if they can close Hell off, I want there to be serious repercussions. This cannot come without a heavy price and, as I said, I’m not overly fond of the price being Sam or Dean’s life… Or Cas’.

I flipped around the possibility of the “Sacrifice” in question being that Sam (because he’s the one doing the trials) having to literally sacrifice someone he loves. If that’s true (shit, think of how awesome yet awful that’d be) Dean would be the best candidate, but I think I’d love for it to be Amelia if that were the case. (And yeah, that’s probably because if my intense hatred of that annoying totally-not-a-fucking-unicorn Mary-Sue.)

Anyway, just a little bit of my own musings about this year’s finale… I’m excited for it, but dreading it as anyone should dread a season finale of Supernatural. I really hope they don’t end with Sam or Dean dying, but I’m sure as Hell not gonna say that if it happens I’ll never watch the show again. Supernatural always finds new ways of surprising me and I’m sure this finale will be no different.

I haven’t exactly been quiet or subtle about my hatred for Amelia Richardson. Her character is so poorly written and developed that it’s sad and I’m frankly amazed that there are people who like her. I’ve realized, though, that perhaps they like Amelia because of their own image of her in their minds and what she represents: Sam’s happiness.

Unfortunately, I can’t like her based on a few minutes of decent characterization that were soon flushed down the toilet and I refuse to make her into something she isn’t in my mind. Sam’s happiness matters little to me if the character is so poorly characterized that it doesn’t make sense.

I believe Amelia’s lack of characterization is in part due to lazy writing. Instead of giving her a personality and making Sam and Amelia’s love make any sense, they’ve simply put her there to serve as the thing that pulls Sam away from hunting and that’s basically all she does. The romance is not evident and she doesn’t get to have a real personality.

I have a couple of theories as to what exactly is really going on between the two of them…

The first is what I’m want to talk about now: They are not really in “love”

It’s pretty obvious, when you think about it. Sam has lost everything and everyone that has ever meant anything to him. He has no family left, he doesn’t have Bobby, he doesn’t have a way to get into Purgatory for Dean… He’s all alone.

And the one thing he’s always wanted is a normal, safe life. He had that at one point, at the beginning of the series. With Jessica Moore. And after losing EVERYTHING, Sam was desperate to get away from the life that had taken it from him.

Whenever he met Amelia, something in her reminded him of Jessica. Maybe it was the way that she smiled, maybe it was the bit of upfront, doesn’t-take-shit-from-anyone personality she displayed briefly in her first appearance. Whatever it was, it reminded him of happier times.

Their relationship was extremely rushed. Amelia even admits this herself whenever they buy a house together. It makes no sense to rush, seeing as they seemingly have all the time in the world to take things slow and, you know, get to know each other. They aren’t married, so why bother buying a house? Why rush into things?

Because Sam was desperately trying recreate what he’d lost with Jess. Remember, he was planning to ask Jessica to marry him and they were living together.

Amelia reminded Sam of Jessica and what he’d lost in some small way and after losing everything, that was enough for him. He just wanted to snatch hold of that little bit of happiness and never let it go.

“But Amelia loves Sam!” you say.

No. No she does not.

Not only does Amelia show very little actually “love” towards either Sam or Don, but that aside, have you ever stopped to listen to Sam and Amelia’s conversations? How flat they are? How lacking in real emotional depth?

Amelia, like Sam, had very recently had her entire world ripped out from under her. Her husband, who she presumably loved, was dead. She fled from that pain the same way Sam fled from his and whenever she met him, there was something in him and how lost he seemed that she connected with because she was just as lost.

Maybe he even reminded her of Don in some way. Either way, she was just as desperate to have that little bit of happiness. They were each other’s FANTASY.

They were both deluding themselves into believing that they loved one another, when it was so painfully obvious from the way they talked to one another that neither was truly emotionally invested in the other. (It’s particularly obvious in the way they talk to each other after having sex… They both sound so detached it’s like they’ve never met before)

Fantasies are never as good as reality and I think they were both aware of that. But they were unwilling and unable to give up that small bit of normalcy and happiness that they had created inside their own minds.

The reason that the fantasy lasted as long as it did? Because neither had a reason to stop deluding themselves. Don was dead and Dean was gone. Sam had no reason to go back to hunting and Amelia had no reason to not give in to her own fantasy.

Notice how quickly it all shatters whenever Don turns up? Amelia doesn’t look relieved, or even the slightest bit happy that the husband she said she loved so much wasn’t dead. She looks HORRIFIED. Because her fantasy is about to be shattered and Sam’s is going down with it.

Don broke the delusion. Suddenly, reality was breaking through and their “love” didn’t seem so great anymore. I think Sam recognized this and that’s why he decided to “do the right thing” and leave.

If you noticed, he himself didn’t seem so broken up about leaving Amelia. Sam’s the self-sacrificing type, I know, but I’m pretty sure if there had been any REAL love between him and Amelia, he’d have stayed and fought harder. It was more than a sense of doing “the right thing” and letting Amelia be happy (because she clearly didn’t LOOK happy) it was that he realized that his desperate attempt at recreating his former life with Jess had failed.

It’s obvious Sam cared, at least a little, about Amelia. But it wasn’t love, it was something more akin to friendship and most likely because of their mutual losses. Empathy was probably what created most of their “feelings” for each other in the first place.

And despite the fact that the entire relationship was a hollow sham, Sam still longs for that little bit of happiness that his fantasy gave him. So whenever Amelia, likely wanting things to go back to that happy time when she and Sam were blissfully deluded together, shows up and tells him she’ll be with him if he stays… he seriously considers it.

But he doesn’t do it. Because he knows that there is no going back. The illusion has been shattered and he knows, after that last night with Amelia, that there isn’t any way that things will ever be the same as they were.

This explains why they’re so stiff and detached when talking to one another, it explains why Amelia was so, for lack of a better word, flirty (in a painful and annoying way) in that hotel room. It explains why Sam always looks so sad whenever he’s talking to Amelia and it explains why Amelia was so willing to throw away her life with Don so callously.