Archive for the ‘Supernatural Rants’ Category

Oh wow, look at that! I’m not dead. I’m really sorry for the extreme gap between posts. I haven’t been able to actually get on WordPress outside of a mobile device lately because my personal laptop is on the fritz. *sigh* That, and life is hectic. I just started a new semester (only one more to go!) and I’ve been writing (both fanfics and original work) and reading a LOT. Not to mention I started sporking City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare last month on my FB and slogging through Jace’s bullshit is actually becoming painful.

But anyway. I actually have access to a computer (in campus computer lab) and I’m going to actually give you guys a post for a change! I know, I know. Shocking.

So today’s topic of discussion: Dean’s sexuality.

For the record, I personally believe that Dean Winchester is bisexual. Please note that I do not believe this simply because I’m an avid slash fan or a very proud Destiel shipper. I love Dean and Cas as friends and frankly, though I enjoy entertaining the thought that they’d have sexually romantic relationship, I’m not going to delude myself into thinking either of them would actually do that. That doesn’t change my thoughts on Dean’s sexuality, however. And I’m going to tell you why.

Many people who don’t believe that Dean is gay or bisexual cite Dean’s womanizing ways as proof of his heterosexuality. I’m going to use it for my own argument though.

Dean was raised in a very masculine environment, trained to do the things “real men” should do. John was a very strict military man and while he wasn’t in the marine corps. when Dean was growing up, he still held those ideals and convictions. I doubt Dean would ever feel comfortable admitting to himself, let alone his father, that he found men attractive. And so of course he would try to compensate for that, telling himself that of course he isn’t gay because he clearly likes women. It became a way for Dean to push down those others thoughts and feelings.

If you’ve noticed, in the earlier seasons Dean was very self-conscious and a lot of his self-worth was tied into what his father thought of him. He wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize his image in John’s eyes. He flirted with women, he had lots of random, casual sex with women and rarely had any fulfilling, committed relationships with women.

Dean hated himself. Let’s not argue about that, because it’s canon. He truly felt unworthy, unwanted or downright useless at times and there was a point where he believed he deserved to go to Hell. Questioning his sexuality, among the angst of trying to find himself outside of his father’s ideas, certainly would have added to that.

And since Dean’s return from Hell he’s expressed more romantic inclinations – like his relationship with Lisa. I personally think that Dean wanted that relationship to work more than anything. He put effort into it like he never really had in a romantic relationship and was content for a while, until it fell apart.

As the seasons have gone by and Dean’s learned to accept himself – though, clearly he still has some issues with his self-worth – he’s become more open. In the early years when someone suggested he was gay, Dean would make a smartass retort, turn it into a joke or balk at it disbelieving and wonder how they could think such a thing.

Now, as we saw in “Everybody Hates Hitler”, he is more awkward and sort of dorky as he tries to work his way through the situation of being flirted with by another man. He doesn’t make flippant remarks, immediately deny the accuse of him being gay. Instead, he acts very much like he does when he is flirting seriously. The way he acted with Aaron was very reminiscent of the way he acted around Cassie (season 1, “Route 666”) and Lisa throughout the early episodes of their relationship (mostly in season 3).

It feels very much like Dean is gradually beginning to come into himself. He has stopped seeing himself in terms of what his father (or Sam or Bobby or anyone else) would see him and has started to see himself just as who he is and who he wants to be. He’s happier with himself than he’s ever been – in spite of his belief that he is merely a “grunt”, he seems to have a healthier opinion of himself as a whole.

I could be reading more into this than is really there, but I truly hope that they continue to explore this side of Dean and his newfound confidence in himself. Even if it doesn’t lead to him coming to terms with his sexuality they way I believe he should, I do hope they’ll at least explore Dean’s self-worth and growing confidence in the coming season. It would certainly be an interesting arc.

We haven’t really gone too deep into Dean’s own personal feels in the last couple of seasons and nothing much about his self-worth (at least not at any great length) since season 3. I’d like for them to do that in season nine. Actually, I’d like to see more of that for Sam, Dean and Cas. Season eight did a wonderful job of setting up some very intriguing arcs for all of the characters and I hope that they don’t drop the ball on exploring them once season nine gets here.

Before I get started, I’d like to first apologize again for my lack of posting. Busy summer, no laptop and unforseen real life events make it harder to write posts than I would like. Forgive me.

And also: please note that while I love Supernatural, I am not above complaining about what I didn’t like and season 3 falls under the “what I didn’t like” category. Not that I hate season 3, it’s decent enough, but it was not as good as the two previous seasons or the seasons that follow it. I avoid watching season 3 in its entirety as often as possible. (I’ve only watched it all the way through 3 times compared to the four or five times I’ve watched all the other seasons…)

So I figured since we’re on hiatus waiting for season 9, I’d just sit here and bitch about things until I get new episodes to sob over. Savvy?

One of the bigger issues I have with season three is the storyline. I feel like it wasn’t enough to spend a whole season on. I get that Dean going to Hell was a big fricking deal and I definitely understand the focus, but there weren’t nearly as many diverse episodes that season – it was nearly all demons. It makes sense with the release of the demons, but it was still repeating things we’d already seen and was frankly not as interesting.

Basically, not enough happened. I’m sure the writer’s strike that year really hurt the show – it’s probably a bigger factor in the season’s poor performance than anything. But I’m not inclined to be too forgiving.

They could’ve done more. So much more, but they didn’t.

They cleared up the Gordon issue – excellently, sure, but ultimately that sucked some tension out of the show. I was glad to see Gordon gone, but disappointed that we never saw any other hunters aside from the ones trying to kill Sam with Gordon or the two at the very beginning.

Where were the other hunters? Hundreds of demons were let loose and we didn’t hear one friggin’ peep out of more than a handful of hunters at best. That is just stupid. We should have heard way more about other hunters. Like, say Ellen and Jo? Remember those people? Because they made not one single appearance in season 3 and in fact vanished entirely until season 5 where they were killed off.

It was a brilliant opportunity to play with the whole hunter world and expand it a bit – it’s something we so rarely see on the show. I’d like for there to be more hunters and more run-ins with other hunters. It’d be interesting.

And can we please talk about why it was necessary for Bela Talbot to be part of the show? I hated that bitch.

She was cold, self-centered, greedy, bitchy and horrible. I never liked her. She had no moral compass, no goals past looking out solely for herself and she was annoyingly Mary-Sueish. She was just so fucking “badass” that it hurt because she wasn’t.

And don’t even bring up the abuse storyline they shoehorned in there right at the end because I don’t care. I know people who were abused, I understand that it is terrible and it will scar someone and I don’t blame Bela for having her parents killed and she doesn’t deserve to go to Hell over something like that.

However, that doesn’t excuse her from being a horrible human being. So she had a shitty, awful, tragic background. A lot of people do and they don’t use it as an excuse to be total dickbags to everyone around them. Bela’s past was awful, apparently (since we only get that tiny little glimpse designed to force us to empathize) but that doesn’t mean she has a right to treat everyone like shit.

She has NO EXCUSE for how she behaves. She is greedy and self-serving and that’s not the bi-products of a scarred young woman, that’s the psychopathic personality she has. I’m seriously wondering why the writers included her at all because she was utterly pointless.

Sure she affected the plot, but remove her and they could’ve found otherways for them to lose the Colt and for Gordon to find them. That’s about the only part of the plot she really effected anyway.

The saddest part is that I could’ve liked Bela, if she’d been given a better personality and wasn’t so damn cold and flat. Written properly, a character like her could have been fantastic and interesting and dynamic and deep. She was cold and flat right up until she died and then they tried to make her into a tragic character. It did not work.

Something else that bugs me about season three: the end of the Henricksen storyline. Hear me out, I love the episode “Jus in Bello”, I do. It’s one of my favorites. However, I was disappointed that they ended the Henricksen storyline there and the threat of the FBI altogether for a while.

They closed that subplot too quickly with Henricksen’s death and Sam and Dean’s supposed death. It, like the subplot with Gordon, sucked out some of the tension. I mean, we still had Dean going to Hell, but I liked the FBI subplot. I enjoyed Henricksen’s character and I was not happy that he died so soon after learning the truth.

There was so much potential in that character. Imagine Sam and Dean having a real FBI agent on their side. Imagine them having a contact within the FBI. That would have been amazing. Henricksen could help them cover their tracks, alert them to weird cases, etc. It would have been awesome. And they could still kill him off later, maybe working some case with the Winchesters, where his death would have a bigger impact once we’d gotten to know him better.

I’d have appreciated more Henricksen, is what I’m saying.

Overall those, as I said, my real issue is that the season went mostly like this: demons, demons, demons, demons, random case, demons, save Dean from hell, demons, demons, Dean’s in Hell, ha ha you all lose.

So anyway, that’s the gist of what I feel about season three.

And to prove that I’m not a horribly cynical person, there are things I liked about the season:

Ruby. She was badass and basically the demon version of what Bela could have been if she’d been written better.

Sam’s struggle with trying to save Dean and be strong for him and his gradual shift in character. That was perfect and wonderful and really set up the following seasons perfectly and established Sam’s character arc nicely.

Dean’s struggle to accept that he didn’t deserve Hell and his attitude toward the whole thing.

And of course, the Trickster episode, “Mystery Spot”, because, duh.

And remember: these are my opinions. I’m allowed to have them, but you’re allowed to disagree with them.

Sorry I haven’t posted anything in a while guys! I was just a teeny bit completely distracted by NBC’s glorious Hannibal. (If you haven’t seen it, save your soul. It will do horrible, twisted things to you…) And my laptop screen is busted, plus fixing some issues with my classes next Fall and my brother graduating high school. I’ve been busy. (Who knew I had a life…)

Anyway. I want to talk about Fanfiction today, specifically, Supernatural Fanfiction.

I feel like Fanfiction gets a bit of a bad reputation, which is probably at least a bit deserved because holy mother of Lucifer, I’ve read some really horrible things in Fanfiction archives. But sometimes you want to read the bad stuff. Or at least, I do. It makes me feel better about my writing. And there are tons of good stories too, and also every now and then you’ll stumble onto something so beautiful it’ll make you cry.

So, here are my Fanfiction Dos and Don’ts for the brilliantness of the Supernatural fandom.

(Also, a brief disclaimer: these are my opinions on these matters. If you happen to love anything I say is a definite Don’t, please don’t take offense because you can write or read whatever you want. I’m just explaining my issues with the SPN fanfictions I see)

Crossovers: Do. Absolutely do. I have a serious love of crossovers. With Supernatural, my favorites are the Superwholock stories. Because I’m a huge nerd and don’t judge me, it’s awesome. (For those sad people who don’t know, Superwholock is Supernatural, Doctor Who and Sherlock.)

Wincest: DON’T. Not ever. I hate every single form of Wincest. Incest is fucking gross people, I don’t care how hot Jared and Jensen are, when they are playing Sam and Dean they are brothers and I don’t even want to entertain the thought of it.

Destiel: Oh please do. Dean and Cas’ “profound bond” is absolutely adorable and I swear, one day Dean will realize that he’s a total dick and realize that Cas is in love with him. It’s just a given.

Serial Killer AUs: Do. For anyone unfamiliar, this is where the supernatural element of SPN is taken out and Sam and Dean are actual serial killers. I love AUs and I love the idea of Sam and Dean being serial killers for real. Dean especially really fits the profile of a serial killer. (I watch too many crime shows… *shrugs*)

Angel Incest: Blarg. In case my tiny rant about Wincest wasn’t clear enough: DON’T. I don’t care if they’re angels, it’s still disgusting. They’re fucking angels people. Angels don’t HAVE sex. At least the majority. Anna did because she was human-ish then and she specifically mention sex being something angels don’t have. Gabriel did because he’s fucking Gabriel. And Balthazar did because fuck the rules. And none of them screwed another angel because THEY’RE FAMILY. Ew.

Gender Bending: Don’t. Gender bending is pretty obviously where you take a character and change their gender. Usually it’s male to female. In SPN, it’s more often than not Sam. But it doesn’t matter because the point of gender bending is to change the character’s gender and keep their personality, but more often than not, the female version is just a generic version of a female original character – usually an author insert. So let’s stop with the gender bending and call a spade a spade. You’re a shitty writer if you do it because you want two characters to have sex but you don’t want to write gay sex. Anyway. Just, don’t. Unless it’s done by, like, a spell or a curse or something and is played for laughs and the character retains their actual personality, it’s just not good.

MPreg: Don’t. Please don’t. MPreg is when a dude gets pregnant. It’s usually very poorly written, though I admit I’ve read a couple of good ones. Generally, author’s don’t bother explaining just how the fuck a guy got pregnant and seem to have set their story in an AU world where guys just get pregnant all the time. It’s bizarre. And gross. And I’m really not a fan.

Giving Sam and Dean a little sister: Why the fuck would you do that? Don’t, obviously. It’s ridiculous. Sam and Dean don’t need a sister. If you want to add a third party to their hunting duo, how about Adam? You know, their actual brother? That guy they left to rot in Hell?

Weechester: Absolutely do. Weechester is basically writing pre-series stories where Sam and Dean are kids. And they are often adorable, sometimes heartbreaking but oh so wonderful. It’s like an extended flashback of awesome when they’re done right. I love Weechester fics.

Adding any new hunters in and pairing them with Sam or Dean: Don’t you fucking dare. That is so annoying. No one wants to read about your fantasies about hunting with the Winchesters and one of them falling for you. NO ONE. Look, 90% of us have those sort of stories in our heads, but we don’t all inflict them on other people so don’t you do it either. It’s annoying. It’s really annoying.

Any Romance at all: Meh. This is an iffy one. I hate romance, especially in Fanfiction where most of the authors have no idea how to write it. However, there are some really good ones out there. I say, as long as it involves two canonical characters and isn’t incest, go for it. I don’t care who you pair together, even if it’s Crowley and Cas (dude, that’d be kinda awesome). Romance can be interesting if it’s written correctly. So it’s a do/don’t because it’s so easily fucked up.

Stanford Era: Do. These fics are so interesting. I love reading about the Stanford era stuff and when they’re done write they’re amazing.

Character Death: Do. It’s SPN. You cannot escape character death and I have grown into a twisted person who is a total masochist. So kill off whoever the hell you want, even Sam if you want.

Character Bashing: I’d avoid it if I were you. There are plenty of characters in SPN I want to tear a new one, but writing them grossly out of character to demonstrate how horrible they are isn’t going to get you anywhere. Sometimes it’s okay, but generally it’s something to avoid. If you really hate the character, just have them brutally killed. It’s what I tend to do with Amelia.

Secretly Genius Dean: Please don’t. I can understand the appeal, but don’t. Dean isn’t a genius. He’s not stupid, but he’s not fucking Einstein. He’s got a GED and he’s more comfortable quoting movies than philosophers. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing; it’s part of who Dean is. It’ feels like a huge breech of his character to have Dean doing calculus or trig or something. He doesn’t like school. It bored him. He’s not an idiot, but he’s not interested in being books smart. He has practical smarts, no need to know anything that he can just have Sam Google or research for him.

And finally:

Samifer: DO. There can never be enough Samifer. Just make sure it’s not all lovey-dovey, happy shit because that relationship is fucked up in a thousand beautiful ways. It hurts so good. Seriously.

So there you have it. Some of my Fanfiction Dos and Don’ts. Not really sorry if I offended anyone. Like I said, you’re totally entitled to disagree with anything I said. They’re just my opinions and I’m hardly the Fanfiction God or anything.

If you want to read some great fanfics, I have a small sample of those here. And if you’re interested in reading my SPN fanfics, you can find those here.

After last Wednesday’s episode (Clip Show, 8×22) I got to thinking about Sam and Dean and Cas and Dean and Cas and Sam and their relationships and the way that they relate to each other.

I’ve always thought Sam was more forgiving to Cas because, well, he gets it. And I’ve noticed some interesting parallels in their character arcs, but that last episode really made me look at them a bit closer.

Cas and Sam have both been through very similar situations.

Sam trusted a demon (Ruby), wrongly, to help him kill Lilith. While Ruby did, ultimately, help Sam kill Lilith, killing Lilith set about a whole, horrible aftermath (Lucifer’s Cage was opened) and Dean placed the blame almost entirely on Sam for betraying him by trusting Ruby. Sam, being Sam, felt horribly guilty and eventually made the ultimate sacrifice to right his wrong, by jumping into the Cage with Lucifer to put a stop to Armageddon. He was (or at least his soul was) in Hell for a year and a half earth-time, 180 years Hell-time.

Now, let’s look at Cas:

Cas trusted a demon (Crowley), wrongly, to help him open Purgatory. While Crowley did help Cas open Purgatory, opening Purgatory set about a whole, horribly aftermath (the Leviathan were released into the world) and Dean placed the blame almost entirely on Cas for betraying him by trusting Crowley. Cas, being Cas, felt horribly guilty and eventually made the ultimate sacrifice to right his wrong, by taking on Sam’s insanity and brokenness, driving himself insane to save Sam from certain death. He later ends up sucked into Purgatory for a year because he helped Sam and Dean stop Dick Roman (the head of the Leviathan).

When I put it like that, it’s almost impossible not to see why Sam relates so strongly to Cas and why he defends him every single time Cas makes a (completely honest) mistake.

Let’s go a bit deeper though.

What were their motives for trusting Ruby and Crowley? What were their intentions?

Well, Sam wanted to kill Lilith, an evil demon who not only dragged Dean into Hell, but who was actively breaking seals to open Lucifer’s Cage. Sam had no way of knowing Lilith was the final seal. His intentions remained, always, in the right.

Cas made his deal with Crowley because Raphael was waging war in Heaven and he was losing. If Raphael won, he would open the Cage, once more releasing Lucifer and starting the Apocalypse all over again. He needed the souls in Purgatory to give him enough power to defeat Raphael. He had no way of knowing that opening Purgatory would unleash the Leviathan.

Even more interesting, think about this: Pride comes before the fall.

Sam was, near the end of season four and his time with Ruby, addicted to demon’s blood and the power it gave him. He felt invincible, powerful. Stronger than Dean and capable of doing anything. He didn’t only want to kill Lilith – he wanted to show Dean that he was not weak. He wanted to prove something to himself and to Dean. He thought he didn’t need Dean, he thought he didn’t need help and he wanted to do it on his own. He became, basically, prideful, self-righteous and power-hungry. It all culminated in the fight between Sam and Dean and Sam actually having demon-black eyes as he killed Lilith and let the demon’s blood consume him.

Cas was, near the end of season six and his deal with Crowley, becoming just as self-righteous, if not more. He wanted to defeat Raphael, not just to stop Armageddon from happening again but also to prove that he was strong enough to lead the Heavenly Host. He was prideful, he was power-hungry and he let that power go to his head, which resulting in the terrifying God!Cas.

And there are even more parallels in their story lines, involving Dean’s reaction this time.

Dean was adamantly against Sam trusting Ruby. It was a bad idea and he knew it and he was entirely unhappy with it. He felt betrayed and he was angry. However, in the following season, Dean works with Crowley to stop Lucifer in spite of Sam insisting that doing was exactly like what he did with Ruby. You cannot trust demons, according to Dean. Not unless he decides it’s okay.

Dean was vehemently against Cas working with Crowley in season six, going so far as to basically disown Cas for doing so and seeing his involvement and lies as the ultimate betrayal. He was pissed and angry and pretty much told Cas he never wanted to see him again. However, the following season, when they were trying to deal with God!Cas, he is the one who suggested that they go to Crowley for help, which was exactly what he disowned Cas for! Again, it’s only okay to trust demons when Dean says so.

Both Sam and Cas have consistently made mistakes for all the right reasons. They were trying to stop powerful demons or powerful angels from unleashing Hell on earth. They were trying to do the right thing. They were trying to protect the people they care about. They fully took responsibility for their actions and sacrificed themselves as penance for their mistakes.

My point is, they’re very, very similar characters. Which is why, whenever Dean was acting like a total dick to Cas Wednesday night, Sam jumped to defend him.

Sam’s always seem the shades of grey in the world. He wants to see the good in everyone, especially someone like Cas who really was only doing the right thing. Sam, unlike Dean, will take into consideration the motivations and intentions behind someone’s actions.

Dean sees betrayal as betrayal. Everything is black and white. Monsters are evil and deserve to die. People who lie to him, hurt him or don’t trust him when he thinks he should be trusted are simply wrong. He adopted that view from John. John raised them to see the world that way, but Sam, in his stubborn need to not be like John, chose to see it different, while Dean, in his desperate need for John’s approval, chose to see it exactly like that.

I’ve noticed, over the seasons, that they’ve both reached a more middle ground. Sam’s less trusting and less optimistic and, especially lately, Dean’s become more willing to accept the shades of grey he usually refuses to see.

But when it comes to family and friends, he’s still stubborn because family means so much and loyalty means so much that every betrayal hurts. It leaves scars and Dean already has such a low opinion of himself that each breach of trust just cracks his sheild even more. So he reacts viscerally, with anger and violence and unbending stubbornness. And Sam, who’s been where Cas is and sees things from his point of view, reacts with understanding, compassion and open-mindedness.

I just hope Dean’s progress on the road to being more open-minded will continue, because this time I really feel his anger isn’t all the justified. He was so cold to Cas and Cas is trying so hard to do the right thing and to make it up to Dean… I know as a viewer I have a more objective eye on the characters’ motivations and actions, but really, Dean knows about Naomi so I don’t get why he was so angry at Cas. I really want him to lay off the poor guy a bit because Cas doesn’t deserve this and, much as I love Dean, no one really ever calls him out on his hypocrisy and bad attitude.

…So, somehow this post became really analytical feeling. *shrugs* Oh well. The point is, I get why Sam is always defending Cas, I get why Dean gets so angry and I get why Cas does what he does the way he does it.

And also… I am terrified of next Wednesday’s episode. *grabs tissues* I am not going to come out it in one piece.

Obviously, this post contains SPOILERS for Supernatural episode 8×22, “Clip Show”

You have been warned.

(this post was written as the episode was airing so… you get my reactions as it happened! Yay for you!)

You know what I’m gonna do about tonight’s episode? I’M GONNA FREAK THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE HOLY SHIT WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO DO TO ME??

*deep breath*

Okay. Now, let’s get on with this.

The opening scene made me jump a bit and I just kind of covered my mouth saying “But I liked Tommy!” over and over. Come on! I remember that guy! I was happy when they saved him because I didn’t think that they’d be able to and HE JUST GOT KILLED!? No. Not cool. So wrong.

Also… how in hell did Crowley kill him that way? What the hell did he do? For a second I thought an angel was killing him, but there was no bright light so, nope.

*frustration*

Why is Dean being an ass to Cas? What the hell did Cas do to make him act like such a dick? Argh, Dean, you’re pushing me to throw things. I don’t like this. Stop being an ass. Seriously. Stop.

Also, “Weird!!!” huh? Well, that sounds like the Winchesters. This whole “curing a demon” thing is AWESOME. Like, horribly awesome in every way and I am so excited to see this in action I cannot wait.

Also, you may or may not remember that I have a “Winchesters I Wanna Punch in the Face” list, right? And that Sam was on it very recently for lying about this sickness thing and insisting he was fine? Well, Sam’s seeing logic and standing up for Cas because DAMN IT DEAN STOP BEING A DICK!!! Sam’s off the list. He’s good.

Dean is not. Not until he stops being a dick to Cas.

Cas shopping is like, the most adorable thing ever. He’s trying so hard to make things up to Dean (never mind that NAOMI IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MOST OF HIS BEHAVIOR) I loved his “I NEED PIE!” line. It was so adorable.

And then Metatron showing up. Gah. Sorry, I mean, Marv. Anyway. I’m in love with this guy and his plan to shut the angels up in Heaven and make them work together, but these trials are freaking me out a bit. I don’t want Cas to cut this girl’s heart out I just… *chews lip* I’m so conflicted. This sounds like a brilliant idea but… I don’t like the trial. It scares me.

However, I loved them talking about the angels like a dysfunctional family in need of serious help. Family therapy maybe? As long as Naomi the Evil Bitch dies, I don’t care how they fix it.

Yay! Abaddon’s back! I loved her so much! Her line about wanting to rip out their pretty eyes made me giggle and I blame my friend Beronica entirely (her obsession with eyes is wearing off on me. I don’t like this, Beronica. You’re making me seem even more twisted than I usually am). But seriously, they do have gorgeous eyes.

Ah, then Crowley calls and I really shouldn’t have been so happy about that. But he’s Crowley! And he’s totally awesome. And… He’s reading Chuck’s books too?!?!? Damn it, those books are getting mileage aren’t they?

AW HE KILLED JENNY!! Goddamn it, Crowley. I liked her too. *pout*

Ooh, Yay! Sarah!! Sarah’s back! I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE SARAH! LIKE YOU CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE HOW HAPPY I AM TO SEE SARAH THIS IS SO FUCKING AWSOME! SARAH’S BACK!!

Aw man… I really don’t want Cas to kill this chick, but… Wait. Shit, she’s beating the hell out of them. Kill her, Cas, I don’t care anymore. Gut her if you have to. Good job, Cas! 🙂

And we’re back with Sarah. I swear, if she dies… You two better keep her safe, Sam and Dean. God, she’s so good at keeping her emotions in check. I love this chick. She had better not die. I will scream.

Yay! Sarah’s married! And has kids. I hate to say that this relieves me, ‘cos I loved her with Sam, but I really don’t want Sam to have another relationship right now. Even with someone as awesome as Sarah.

Oh fuck. She asked about him. *don’t mention Amelia. Don’t mention Amelia. DON’T MENTION AMELIA* *phew* He didn’t mention Amelia and Sarah’s still being awesome about – DON’T INSULT SAM’S HAIR SARAH! I love Sam’s hair.

SAVE HER. OH GOD DAMN IT. SAVE HER. SAVE HER!!! God damn it, SAVE HER!! *sobbing* Save her!! DON’T YOU DARE LET HER DIE!! DON’T LET HER DIE!!! DON’T YOU DARE LET HER DIE.

Shut up Crowley! SHUT UP!! Save her!! God damn it, SAVE HER!!!

*sobbing*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Crowley… *sobs* H-How could you?!?!? I can’t even… *sobs*

I hate this show so fucking much sometimes.

*choking on sobs*

D-Don’t even think about taking the deal, Sam. Don’t. It’s horrible. Please don’t. I hate watching people die too, but, this is CROWLEY. You know this is a bad idea. Plus, you’re fucking dying right now. You gotta finish the trials so that you can get better. I have a horrible suspicious that you’ll die, but you’ve done that before and since there’s a season 9 I know you’ll come back and…

I can’t do this. I hurt too much. Goddamn it, Supernatural, I knew I shouldn’t have hoped for better from you, but really, you could’ve let this one go. You could’ve let them save Sarah. YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO HURT ME ALL OVER AGAIN YOU ASSHOLES.

*sobs*

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.

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Thoughts on the PROMO:

HOLY SHIT THEY’RE GONNA TRY TO CURE CROWLEY? WHAT? WHAT THE HELL?? *explodes*

First, let’s all have a moment of silence to remember those we lost in the Battle of Hogwarts, fifteen years ago today. *wipes away tears*

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.

.

*sharply inhales*

*clears throat*

*taps microphone*

Alright. Ahem. And now, let’s get on with the post. Everybody, I’d like you all to turn your attention to the man of hour: SAM WINCHESTER!

600full-jared-padalecki

Just look at that gorgeous face! *swoon*

Anyway. Sam Winchester was born 30 years ago today on May 2, 1983! This is a big birthday for the younger half of our favorite duo of badass brothers! So what can we possibly do to celebrate such a momentous occasion?

Well… I have a few ideas…

Ah... Just how I like him: angry and restrained. ;)

Ah… Just how I like him: angry and restrained. 😉

Ah… hmm… *clears throat* But let’s save those plans for later. When we’re alone, huh, Sammy?

Aw, I’m sure we all remember what an adorable little baby Sam was! Why, I remember it as if it were yesterday…

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Literally the most adorable thing I’ve seen all day…

Aww! Look at how cute he is! :3 So adorable!

And of course, that adorable little baby (and his cutie pie older brother, of course) grew up to be a badass hero and we all thank him immensely for, ya know, saving our pathetic asses and giving his own life to stop Lucifer.

We all love Sam for his heart and his brilliant mind and his ability to see (or at least, attempt to see) the good in almost everyone. Even the monsters he and Dean hunt. We love him for being intelligent and thoughtful and stubborn and sometimes just a bit stupid, too, because no matter what we know he’s got Dean’s back.

So happy birthday, Sammy! I love you, we all love you and you’re totally awesome, so don’t forget that.

thCALUS4TI

Now c’mere and let me give you your present…

Who else is excited about the new “Supernatural” tonight? I know I am, even though I’m 98.99% certain that it will leave me a sobbing, broken mess. So, before I’m reduced to a puddle of incoherent fangirl feels, I figure now’s as good a time as any to do some ranting…

Right now, I want to talk about Adam Milligan.

I seem to keep having this conversation with friends and other people online and we all seem to agree: We want Adam Milligan rescued. Or at least a damn attempt to be made, ya know?

It’s bad enough the poor kid got suckered into being an archangel’s vessel and shoved into Hell through absolutely no fault of his own, but it’s even worse because it seems like Sam and Dean have completely forgotten they even have a half-brother trapped in the fiery depths of Lucifer’s Cage being tortured for centuries.

Come on, guys, when’s the last time Adam was even mentioned? “Appointment in Samarra”? In season SIX? The first half of season six?

Guys, we’re at the end of season eight now. Adam’s been trapped in Hell for more than three centuries Hell-time. I’d the math, but it’s math so… No. For Adam, I’ll actually do the damn math.

He got sucked into Hell in season 5, right? And one month on earth is the equivalent of a decade Hell-time, right? Okay.

It’s been three goddamn years. Technically, five considering that there was a year between season 5 and 6 and another year between season 7 and 8 which means somewhere there are two years unaccounted for but it’s somehow still 2013 so just go with it guys. We’ll say three years since the writer’s fucked up the timeline and I’ll be lenient for now.

In less than two weeks, it’ll be exactly three years since “Swan Song” aired anyway so let’s go with it.

Three years times 12 months is 36 months. Since a month is ten years, that’s 36 times 10 which is 360.

THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY GODDAMN YEARS, PEOPLE.

How long is Adam going to have to waste away in that pit being tortured by two pissed off archangels? WHY HAVEN’T SAM AND DEAN EVEN MENTIONED HIM IN TWO YEARS?

Jesus, guys, Sam and Dean are supposed to be heroes and yet they totally abandoned their little brother and haven’t even made a single attempt to free him aside from Dean’s half-hearted request to Death. And even that felt like Adam was a total afterthought. Like “Yeah, so, you go in and save Sam. Oh, I also have this other brother… Adam. Could you save him too if you don’t mind? No. Well, fine, just save Sam then, I didn’t really like Adam all that much anyway.”

Seriously.

I mean, sure, Dean’s single-minded sometimes and Sam is definitely more important to him than Adam, but even SAM didn’t ask about Adam after he got his soul back. He KNEW Adam got sucked down into that Cage with him and didn’t mention him ONE GODDAMN TIME.

Not even after the wall broke and he remembered Hell did he mention Adam. Think about it: Sam had to have seen Adam being tortured too, or at least knew that he was suffering just like he was. But he never expresses any guilt about the fact that he got saved and Adam didn’t even though Adam is clearly the more innocent of the two.

I love Sam, guys, but, come on, you know Sam deserved Hell more than Adam did. And Sam clearly thought he deserved Hell because that’s why he agreed to jump into the Cage in the first damn place. But did that make him feel bad whenever he realized Adam was STILL trapped down there? Hell no!

I have to admit, while I adore Bobby and I’m thrilled that he got to come back in “Taxi Driver”, I was a bit pissed that once again there was not a single mention of Adam. They had to save an innocent soul from Hell and it never once occurred to them that the innocent soul could’ve been Adam? Not once? Not even a passing mention of “Hey, remember that half-brother we totally screwed over?” Nothing?

Damn it.

At this point, that’s all I’m really asking for. Just a mention of Adam. Just an attempt to save him. Anything at all to show that Sam and Dean actually care about the poor kid that was yanked into something he had no clue about and has suffered centuries of Hell with Lucifer himself. I just want to know they haven’t totally forgotten he exists and is suffering brutally for no damn reason.

Honestly, though, I secretly kind of hope Adam does get free. And that his first order of business is try and kill his asshole half-brothers who left him to rot in Hell. They deserve it.

I love you, Adam! Even if Sam and Dean don't.

I love you, Adam! Even if Sam and Dean don’t.
*picture drawn by ~16AngelWing16 on deviantart*

We now interrupt this program to discuss tonight’s episode of Supernatural, “Taxi Driver” So, you know, SPOILERS and all that shit…

Now… *clears throat*

I HATE THIS FUCKING SHOW. I HATE IT. I HAAAAAATE IT.

*deep breath*

Okay. Maybe now I can talk again.

Fucking Supernatural.

*sobs*

There are no words for what this show did to me tonight. I threw a remote at the TV. I seriously did. My remote is broken now. Because of this goddamn show. I hate this show, I hate the characters, my throat is hoarse from SCREAMING at the TV and EVERYTHING FUCKING HURTS.

And no, I will not apologize for how angry and broken this post is. I AM ANGRY AND BROKEN GODDAMN IT. Fuck. This show is EVIL.

I wonder if the writers realize that I’m already part of so many painful fandoms. There really is no need to try and rip out my heart. It’s already gone. IT’S GONE. BURNT TO ASHES. I DON’T HAVE EMOTIONS ANYMORE, THEY’RE ALL FUCKED UP IN A TANGLED KNOT OF PAIN.

Why would they do that? Kevin and his Crowley hallucinations… Crowley and his awesome badassery, Naomi and her STILL NOT FUCKING BEING DEAD-NESS.

I swear, the entire scene with her and Dean I just kept telling Dean to stab the bitch in the face. I don’t even care if it wouldn’t have killed her. I JUST WANT HER DEAD. WHY CAN’T SHE BE DEAD? WHY IS EVERYONE ELSE DYING BUT NAOMI IS STILL ALIVE.

Fucking Supernatural.

*deep breath*

I was prepared for feels, I was. I knew Bobby was coming back, Sam was going into Hell to get him… I knew I’d hurt, but… but THIS? Fuck no. THAT IS NOT OKAY. I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS. YOU CAN’T HURT ME LIKE THIS, SUPERNATURAL. IT’S NOT RIGHT.

*sobbing pathetically*

I loved the scene with Sam and Dean and the “freelance” Reaper. It was kind of awesome that he was a taxi driver. I really loved the scene with Dean talking to Kevin and buying him food and trying to keep him from freaking out and Kevin just walking back to his closet with Dean’s pie. That was hilarious and kinda cute.

But for the love of God, why weren’t Dean and Sam more worried about Kevin HEARING CROWLEY’S VOICE? That seems like a major fucking thing to be so passive about. “Oh you’re hearing Crowley in your head? Nah, I’m sure that’s nothing. Don’t worry.”

Seriously, guys? This is Crowley. Don’t you think you should’ve been a BIT more concerned when Kevin says he’s hearing his voice? Or any voices at all, since that means Kevin’s likely losing it and telling him to keep it together was some shitty advice, dudes. Come on, you’re smarter than that, aren’t you?

Whenever Dean realized Sam was trapped in Purgatory… And he called Benny again and I was so happy to see Benny. Then I got worried, because Benny was talking so FINAL, ya know? Like he was ready to die and didn’t have anything to live for and it broke my heart. Then he willingly let Dean kill him so he could save Sam and… I choked up. That was above and beyond the call of friendship right there. That was when I knew any lingering theories anyone has about Benny being evil were squashed.

And then… and then… *sobs*

I knew Bobby wouldn’t get to stay, but some small, foolishly hopeful part of me was clinging to the fact that maybe he could. Somehow, I still had hope, even after everything. And now it’s all crushed and ruined and GONE FOREVER. I hope you’re fucking happy, Supernatural. YOU KILLED MY HOPE. I didn’t even know I had any left and YOU KILLED IT.

I thought at least, since Bobby was going… Benny would get to stay and Sam would realize he could trust him and all would be good-ish even if I did cry watching it.

Then Benny started talking like he was ready to die AGAIN. And… and … then he saved them and helped Sam get to the portal and JUST DECIDED TO NOT GO. WHAT? BENNY, WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? I screamed. I seriously screamed. It was at that point that I knew that this show is going to end with Crowley killing Sam and Dean and no one wins because after that, Naomi will kill Crowley and find Cas and torture him again and THAT IS WHAT I’M SEEING IN THE FUTURE NOW. THERE IS NO FUCKING HOPE. NAOMI’S GONNA WIN AND EVERYONE I LOVE WILL DIE AND FUCK YOU, SUPERNATURAL. FUCK YOU.

Why the hell did they have to kill Benny? WHY? WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO DO? I loved Benny. Why couldn’t it have been Naomi? WHY IS BENNY DEAD AND NAOMI ISN’T? That’s not right. You can’t just kill people all willy-nilly, Supernatural. You just can’t. You fucking bastards. I HURT IN WAYS I DIDN’T KNOW I COULD HURT.

*sobs*

This is worse than “Swan Song”. This is worse than Meg dying. This is worse than John dying because now I know for sure that this is going nowhere. EVERYONE IS GOING TO LOSE. EVERYONE. I don’t have anything left. You’re ripping me apart piece by piece and I hate you because even though it all hurts and I threw things, I’ll still be there to watch the next episode. I’m like a hopeless addict, or a kicked puppy. I keep thinking “It can’t get WORSE.” And then it does.

*shuddering sobs*

I HATE EVERYTHING.

I know I’m not alone in this, though it’s possible that me and my small group of friends are the only ones who think this, but I have to say that Meg’s comment about Amelia being a “unicorn” seriously pissed me off and I now hate unicorns.

I know I don’t like Amelia, not even a little bit. I tried and the writers just couldn’t seem to make her into a real character and I gave up. It’s easier to hate someone than to try pointlessly to like them simply because I’m being told that I should. And now, after that unicorn line, I’m seriously annoyed at the writers.

It bothers me because they’re implying that Amelia is apparently UBER SPECIAL. It reeks of desperation: LOOK! Sam quit hunting to be with Amelia! See! He loves her! She’s really special and unique and wonderful! Even MEG thinks so!! PLEASE LIKE HER.

Ugh.

First, it’s really annoying to be told I should like a character who I don’t empathize with or give two shits about. Especially when it’s so obvious. Second, Amelia ISN’T special. Sam has quit hunting before, remember? Way back when he was 22 at the beginning of the show? He spent most of the first season talking about quitting hunting again once Yellow Eyes was dead.

And he had Jessica. Now, he didn’t quit FOR her, but he loved her and that was obvious without being shoved down our throats. Sam has loved before, he’s quit hunting before and one annoying Mary-Sue with a dog is nothing remarkable or special and sure as hell not “legendary creature” material.

That line made me want to throw things. I know I’m biased because I really hate her so much, but think about: what purpose did that comment serve other than to try and let us know, AGAIN, how apparently wonderful Amelia is. There was no reason for Meg to comment on Sam and Amelia’s relationship.

Meg knows Sam’s past, she knows about Jess and Madison and Ruby and that Sarah girl who was way more interesting than Amelia is. Amelia isn’t the first girl Sam’s loved and she’s the least likeable of them all. (That includes Ruby…) and Meg wouldn’t give a shit about her. If anything, Meg should’ve made some derisive comment about how Sam’s relationships usually work. She’s a demon, it’s what she does. And Sam’s an easy target there seeing as every girl he’s loved is DEAD.

Meg calling Cas her unicorn made more sense… She’s a demon, he’s an angel and they’re friends and she seems to actually care about him. THAT is rare and worthy of the “legendary creature” status. Amelia is not.

So now, thanks to that episode, I can’t think about unicorns without thinking about Amelia and getting angry because I don’t want to have the purity and wonder of rainbow farting unicorns compared to the flat, boring nothingness that is Amelia Richardson.

 

We first met you way back in season one, and everyone knew you were one of the bad guys…

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You were the smartass, super-awesome villain who nearly got Sam and Dean killed and we were all a bit relieved whenever they finally exorcised you.

We all remember when you clawed your way out of Hell to get revenge on the Winchesters and possessed poor Sammy to do it…

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Secretly, we all kind of loved that, even if we pretended to be upset about it.

We remember you coming back again in season 5, in a brand-new body, but the same snarky-smartass awesomeness that we’d come to expect from the previous years of your work…

????????????

We remember you disappearing for a while after Lucifer was shoved back into his Cage, but then you showed up again, running from Crowley and needing help. We remember you turning to the Winchesters because you had no other choice and we certainly remember that kiss with Castiel before you fought of Hellhounds to give Sam and Dean more time…

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We remember you helping take care of Cas while he was broken and even helping Sam and Dean fight off the Leviathans…

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Not that you got any thanks for that.

And we’ll always remember when Crowley’s demons came and took you away. We didn’t get any explanations and for the longest time, we thought you were dead.

Now, we remember that you suffered a year of torture and still held out because you’re just that awesome.

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We remember you having a truly honest conversation with Cas about your feelings, of all things. We remember you actually caring about what was going on with Sam and Dean.

We remember you fighting off Crowley so that they could escape with the tablet and hopefully bring down the King of Hell…

Goodbye Stranger

And we will always remember you, Meg. Even though we never learned your real name, we will never forget the way you changed, the things you did and the awesome, smartass demon that you were. You were proof that not ever demon is evil and we will remember.