Archive for the ‘Episode Deconstructions’ Category

So I know it’s been a few days since 9×23 “Do You Believe in Miracles” aired. And tumblr and Facebook exploded. So did my brain. I mean, seriously. Did you guys see that? Seriously! It… it just.

No.

I know I said I was going to post my thoughts on the finale, but I cannot talk about the end. I will talk about everything else. I will say that I was so proud of Sam and so glad to see Sam caring for Dean. And I was so glad to see Dean and Sam together again and Dean dying in Sam’s arms, saying “I’m proud of us,” was just… guh. My feelings died. I swear to god.

Metatron. Metatron did not die. I am so pissed. You guys have no idea. I wanted him dead. I don’t care about any stupid “meanings” or Cas doing something good and sparing his enemy to stop the angel-on-angel violence. I don’t care. I wanted Cas to stab him in the face. I wanted him dead. Dead. Dead, I say! SOMEONE SHOULD TOTALLY JUST STAB METATRON.

And… Gadreel. *chokes* I am so unhappy. So freaking depressing. Good lord, SPN, I know you like to make us care about characters and then kill the, but REALLY. This is just getting ridiculous. You killed Gadreel, but NOT METATRON. No fair.

And what is going to happen to Cas? What is going to happen with his angel Grace? EXPLAIN, SUPERNATURAL, EXPLAIN.

Ugh. So many questions. So many worries. So many things I need to think about, but I *not* going to think about them until season 10 airs. I’ve already decided that my best course of action is to pretend that the last five seconds of “Do You Believe in Miracle” NEVER HAPPENED. IT NEVER HAPPENED GUYS.

So yeah, I will say all that. I will say that I have so many feelings. I will say that I’m dead inside. I will say that I am worried and anxious and unhappy. But those last five seconds? No. To quote Castiel, my rule is this: “We’re not supposed to talk about it,”

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Okay, so everyone’s talking about last night’s backdoor pilot for the Supernatural spin-off. I figured I’d weigh in with my opinion…

Honestly? I am still undecided. It was an interesting episode–of a show that was not SPN. It did not feel like a spin-off and it certainly didn’t feel like a “backdoor pilot”. It was a pilot that basically interrupted the story of this season. If they were going to do it the way they did they really should have just given the show a real pilot. I’ve seen a lot of backdoor pilots, and they do not shove out the characters of the original show in favor of the other characters. The purpose of a backdoor pilot is the introduce views to the characters without doing an official pilot. The focus should always remain on the main characters of the original–it’s fine to have heavier focus on the spin-off characters, but they should NOT take away so much from the main cast. Especially when the main cast is only TWO CHARACTERS.

I don’t really know why this show is a spin-off. It does not feel like a spin-off. It feels like its own show that Sam and Dean Winchester happened to have cameos in. I’m honestly not sure why this was supposed to be a spin-off of the series considering the only real elements it has in common with SPN are the monsters. Nothing else.It’s an entirely different type of show with an entirely different type of premise–it’s not about monster hunters, it’s about monster gangsters. It’s not like the CW doesn’t already have television shows about monsters or groups of monsters fighting.

Which leads me to the premise of the show: not very original. I’ve seen it done before (and better). I’m not really a huge fan of these types of shows, so I didn’t think I would enjoy it. That being said, I did like the characters and probably would have loved them if they hadn’t pushed the spotlight totally away from Sam and Dean.

I’ll admit, I am still wary of the show. I’d probably be thrilled about it if it weren’t for two things: it’s a spin-off, and it’s on the CW. I hate most CW shows. (In fact–I hate them all except SPN…) And I don’t like poorly done spin-offs like this. Spin-offs should work like The Sarah Jane Adventures or Torchwood, which took existing elements of Doctor Who and expanded on them. Or (loathe as I am to mention this) like the CSI spin-offs, which took the same premise and gave it new characters in a new city with slightly different dynamics.

Supernatural Bloodlines does neither. It’s got a new premise and new characters. Like I said, the only existing thing they took from the show were the monsters.

So… I’m hopeful, but wary. I did like the characters, for the most part. I did think it was an interesting concept, even if it’s been done to death before. Maybe they can make it something new. Even if it’s the same thing I’ve seen before, I can still enjoy it. Familiarity isn’t always a bad thing. The biggest issue I have is characters and plot. It has the characters, now I’m just waiting to see if it can deliver on the plot.

I really wish they hadn’t tied it to SPN, because that seems like it’s going to (and already has, as a matter of fact) hurt the show. SPN fans don’t seem too thrilled with the backdoor pilot (taking the Winchesters out of most of the episode was a BAD MOVE, CW), but a few (myself included) are still willing to give it a chance if they decide to go forward it.

Just… I hope they tread carefully. They’re entering dangerous waters. As long as they don’t throw out over-used and boring cliches and keep the characters interesting, I am willing to watch and see how it pans out. It’s not a show I can see myself obsessing over and falling in love with like Supernatural, but it is conceivably a show that I can see myself enjoying.

So here’s to hoping they don’t sink this ship before it can sail.

So, I know I’m a couple of days late, but you can all blame shitty internet service on that. I hate living in the middle of freakin’ nowhere.

But anyway.

Let’s talk about episode 9×03, “I’m No Angel”, shall we?

You guys all remember that article I linked to you about Shannon Lucio playing Castiel’s love interest? And how she was going to be “introduced” in the third episode? And how I was fighting not to be too judgemental because we hadn’t seen her yet?

Well… now we have. Her name is April Kelly and I have three words for Supernatural: WHAT. THE. FUCK?

Okay, let me back up.

When April first came on-screen I liked her. She was nice and endearing and I immediately got a pit in my stomach because me liking a SPN character means bad shit is going to happen.

So then April continues to be nice. She’s sweet and sort of funny and Cas likes her and she was certainly not another bitchy, condescending, flat twit like our miss Richardson was last season. I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. I wished on every star that she’d stay that nice and they’d develop an interesting romance between the two of them, since, you know, they said they were giving Cas a LOVE INTEREST.

They fucking lied, that’s what they did.

Things started moving alarmingly fast when they end up having sex (and I cried a little because Cas finally lost his virginity and it wasn’t to Meg…) and I was sort of confused and unhappy, but not totally willing to dismiss April just yet.

And it was a sort of sweet/funny scene if I let go of my utter confusion and annoyance of how fast that happened.

Then this happens:

 I'm No Angel

April turns out to be evil, kills Cas and then is killed herself and Ezekiel brings Cas back and I’m left sitting there gaping at the television and wondering what the fuck I just saw. I actually had to look up that article about Cas again, re-read it and make sure I had the actress right.

Okay, Supernatural, you and I need to have a little talk about what a “love interest” is.

It is a character who serves as the significant other (romantic partner) of a main (or even secondary) character. Generally speaking, the relationship has to last more than a day or two and usually at least a few episodes as well.

It is NOT a character who acts nice to gain a main characters trust, has sex with them and then murders them. THAT is called a villain, SPN, and you should really have learned the difference by now. I know SPN writers are not the best at writing “romance” and I was terrified of this relationship being botched, but… really? REALLY? This is what you’re going to call a love interest?

What the fuck is messed up in their minds that they’d think it was appropriate to call April a love interest?

That being said, I applaud Supernatural for recognizing how catastrophically bad giving Castiel a love interest (especially so soon after turning him human) would be. I am glad they at least seem to have realized that it would likely have been a bad idea. Hats off to you for scaring me shitless for NOTHING. You bastards.

Sorry I wasn’t able to post after the episode aired last night. My home internet is wonky at the best of times and the laptop I’m currently using sucks. Still, I did want to do a post on the episode since it’s the season opener and is meant to set the tone for the entire season and so here it is, a bit late, but ah well.

To start off, I loved the episode. I mean, I cried a lot and I yelled a lot, but that’s par for course with Supernatural so I’m not complaining and I think everyone did a phenominal job with the episode and I am so excited for this season and where it’s going!

Now, on to my thoughts…

Sam:

God. Sam made me sob this episode. I mean, pretty much everyone did, but I mean… just Sam. I can’t even begin to tell you how my heart started breaking when Bobby showed up in the Impala and him and Dean started arguing about whether or not Sam should just give up and Sam kept leaning toward giving up.

That scene with Death where Sam wants to make sure he can never be brought back hit me hard, especially. I mean, Sam and Dean have been through Hell and back (literally) and I know that wears on them and it’s enough to break anyone, but when he said that, when he basically just decided “This is it. I can’t go on. No more fighting, just let me be dead,” well, part of me broke.

I actually go a little angry at Dean for not letting him rest, because much as I love them and the show and Dean’s devotion to Sam, the fact is that Sam was ready to let go and Dean just refused to accept it (which is heartbreaking in itself) and I can’t figure out if he was wrong to try so hard to help Sam or not.

Dean:

Where to begin? With that horrible, angst ridden prayer? With the desperation eking out of his every action? With him going to Crowley to maybe make a deal to fix Sam?

With him killing Bobby in Sam’s head (though, I am aware that technically that Dean was part of Sam – he was pretty much Dean so, yeah)? Or maybe with him letting Ezekiel possess Sam to fix him under false pretenses, basically tricking Sam into it? God, Dean must’ve been pretty damn desperate to do that and it still kind of pissed me off.

I know he doesn’t want Sam to die and I know he loves Sam and I know he couldn’t bear to lose his brother and he’s just doing what he thinks is best, but God, Dean, could you pick a more awful way to do it? I mean, I want to trust Ezekiel and he seems freaking awesome thus far, but still. This is Sam’s life and Sam’s body and Sam’s mind and Dean’s going around making these choices.

He sort of gave Sam a choice, but he knew it wasn’t really a choice. I don’t want to sound like I’m bitching here, because I’m really not, it’s just that I can already bet there is going to be major fireworks over this later because when Sam figures out what happened… Dean is in deep shit.

But Dean still broke my heart and was so badass and so, well, Dean. I can’t help but want to hug him and say it’s okay and everything will be alright, even if it won’t.

Castiel:

*clears throat*

HE TOOK OFF THE TRENCH COAT! HE *TOOK OFF* THE FUCKING TRENCHING COAT!

Ahem.

I knew that was coming and it still managed to upset me more than nearly everything else this entire episode.

I gotta say, Cas’s determination to do the right thing and help the angels and fix this mess, it’s just so very him. I love that it actually took him a while to piece together the things that are going to be different for him now that he’s human and has all the problems that go along with that.

Particularly that scene where he first realizes he’s hurt. That made me teary. Poor Cas. He’s been run through the ringer so many times, always for trying to do the right thing, and now most of the angels hate him even more and are trying to kill him.

And even as lost and broken as he was, Cas still managed to be totally badass and prove that despite being human, he’s still a warrior and fucking with him is a bad idea. I am so excited for the Cas story arc this season (minus the love interest, which I remain dubious about until I see if they pulled it off..)

Bobby:

You have no idea how I squeed when Bobby showed up. I was so excited and I almost jumped off my bed. I was so glad to see him again and so glad that he showed up in Sam’s mind to try and talk him into being rational and doing what needs to be done.

Though it does strike me as odd that Bobby was the one telling Sam to move on and let go when Bobby seems to have a lot of trouble with that – he sure as hell didn’t want to let go any of the times he was supposed to. But I suppose he did learn (after the trouble that happened with him as a ghost) that letting go is kind of really important… I was just thrilled to have him back.

(And, again, I almost screamed when Dean killed him…)

And finally…

Ezekiel:

How totally awesome was Ezekiel guys? Oh my god, I think I’m in love with another angel. And that’s something I don’t say often seeing how I hate all but like, three of them.

Tahmoh Penikett was amazing. Seriously amazing. I’m not kidding, guys. I loved Ezekiel so much and I wanna rewatch the episode just for him.

HOWEVER, I am so, so wary to trust this character. I want to, I really, really do, but SPN has a history of introducing character and then them turning out to be totally evil and so I’m really not sure. He’s an angel and he’s now possessing Sam. That could be disastorous if he isn’t trustworthy. That could be terrible.

So I want to trust him, but i’m scared to because what if I get my heart ripped out AGAIN?

ezekiel

 

But anyway, that’s just some of my thoughts on the episode. I’m so excited for the rest of this season to see how everything pans out!

Obviously, this post contains SPOILERS for Supernatural episode 8×22, “Clip Show”

You have been warned.

(this post was written as the episode was airing so… you get my reactions as it happened! Yay for you!)

You know what I’m gonna do about tonight’s episode? I’M GONNA FREAK THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE HOLY SHIT WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO DO TO ME??

*deep breath*

Okay. Now, let’s get on with this.

The opening scene made me jump a bit and I just kind of covered my mouth saying “But I liked Tommy!” over and over. Come on! I remember that guy! I was happy when they saved him because I didn’t think that they’d be able to and HE JUST GOT KILLED!? No. Not cool. So wrong.

Also… how in hell did Crowley kill him that way? What the hell did he do? For a second I thought an angel was killing him, but there was no bright light so, nope.

*frustration*

Why is Dean being an ass to Cas? What the hell did Cas do to make him act like such a dick? Argh, Dean, you’re pushing me to throw things. I don’t like this. Stop being an ass. Seriously. Stop.

Also, “Weird!!!” huh? Well, that sounds like the Winchesters. This whole “curing a demon” thing is AWESOME. Like, horribly awesome in every way and I am so excited to see this in action I cannot wait.

Also, you may or may not remember that I have a “Winchesters I Wanna Punch in the Face” list, right? And that Sam was on it very recently for lying about this sickness thing and insisting he was fine? Well, Sam’s seeing logic and standing up for Cas because DAMN IT DEAN STOP BEING A DICK!!! Sam’s off the list. He’s good.

Dean is not. Not until he stops being a dick to Cas.

Cas shopping is like, the most adorable thing ever. He’s trying so hard to make things up to Dean (never mind that NAOMI IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MOST OF HIS BEHAVIOR) I loved his “I NEED PIE!” line. It was so adorable.

And then Metatron showing up. Gah. Sorry, I mean, Marv. Anyway. I’m in love with this guy and his plan to shut the angels up in Heaven and make them work together, but these trials are freaking me out a bit. I don’t want Cas to cut this girl’s heart out I just… *chews lip* I’m so conflicted. This sounds like a brilliant idea but… I don’t like the trial. It scares me.

However, I loved them talking about the angels like a dysfunctional family in need of serious help. Family therapy maybe? As long as Naomi the Evil Bitch dies, I don’t care how they fix it.

Yay! Abaddon’s back! I loved her so much! Her line about wanting to rip out their pretty eyes made me giggle and I blame my friend Beronica entirely (her obsession with eyes is wearing off on me. I don’t like this, Beronica. You’re making me seem even more twisted than I usually am). But seriously, they do have gorgeous eyes.

Ah, then Crowley calls and I really shouldn’t have been so happy about that. But he’s Crowley! And he’s totally awesome. And… He’s reading Chuck’s books too?!?!? Damn it, those books are getting mileage aren’t they?

AW HE KILLED JENNY!! Goddamn it, Crowley. I liked her too. *pout*

Ooh, Yay! Sarah!! Sarah’s back! I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE SARAH! LIKE YOU CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE HOW HAPPY I AM TO SEE SARAH THIS IS SO FUCKING AWSOME! SARAH’S BACK!!

Aw man… I really don’t want Cas to kill this chick, but… Wait. Shit, she’s beating the hell out of them. Kill her, Cas, I don’t care anymore. Gut her if you have to. Good job, Cas! 🙂

And we’re back with Sarah. I swear, if she dies… You two better keep her safe, Sam and Dean. God, she’s so good at keeping her emotions in check. I love this chick. She had better not die. I will scream.

Yay! Sarah’s married! And has kids. I hate to say that this relieves me, ‘cos I loved her with Sam, but I really don’t want Sam to have another relationship right now. Even with someone as awesome as Sarah.

Oh fuck. She asked about him. *don’t mention Amelia. Don’t mention Amelia. DON’T MENTION AMELIA* *phew* He didn’t mention Amelia and Sarah’s still being awesome about – DON’T INSULT SAM’S HAIR SARAH! I love Sam’s hair.

SAVE HER. OH GOD DAMN IT. SAVE HER. SAVE HER!!! God damn it, SAVE HER!! *sobbing* Save her!! DON’T YOU DARE LET HER DIE!! DON’T LET HER DIE!!! DON’T YOU DARE LET HER DIE.

Shut up Crowley! SHUT UP!! Save her!! God damn it, SAVE HER!!!

*sobbing*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Crowley… *sobs* H-How could you?!?!? I can’t even… *sobs*

I hate this show so fucking much sometimes.

*choking on sobs*

D-Don’t even think about taking the deal, Sam. Don’t. It’s horrible. Please don’t. I hate watching people die too, but, this is CROWLEY. You know this is a bad idea. Plus, you’re fucking dying right now. You gotta finish the trials so that you can get better. I have a horrible suspicious that you’ll die, but you’ve done that before and since there’s a season 9 I know you’ll come back and…

I can’t do this. I hurt too much. Goddamn it, Supernatural, I knew I shouldn’t have hoped for better from you, but really, you could’ve let this one go. You could’ve let them save Sarah. YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO HURT ME ALL OVER AGAIN YOU ASSHOLES.

*sobs*

.

.

.

Thoughts on the PROMO:

HOLY SHIT THEY’RE GONNA TRY TO CURE CROWLEY? WHAT? WHAT THE HELL?? *explodes*

We now interrupt this program to discuss tonight’s episode of Supernatural, “Taxi Driver” So, you know, SPOILERS and all that shit…

Now… *clears throat*

I HATE THIS FUCKING SHOW. I HATE IT. I HAAAAAATE IT.

*deep breath*

Okay. Maybe now I can talk again.

Fucking Supernatural.

*sobs*

There are no words for what this show did to me tonight. I threw a remote at the TV. I seriously did. My remote is broken now. Because of this goddamn show. I hate this show, I hate the characters, my throat is hoarse from SCREAMING at the TV and EVERYTHING FUCKING HURTS.

And no, I will not apologize for how angry and broken this post is. I AM ANGRY AND BROKEN GODDAMN IT. Fuck. This show is EVIL.

I wonder if the writers realize that I’m already part of so many painful fandoms. There really is no need to try and rip out my heart. It’s already gone. IT’S GONE. BURNT TO ASHES. I DON’T HAVE EMOTIONS ANYMORE, THEY’RE ALL FUCKED UP IN A TANGLED KNOT OF PAIN.

Why would they do that? Kevin and his Crowley hallucinations… Crowley and his awesome badassery, Naomi and her STILL NOT FUCKING BEING DEAD-NESS.

I swear, the entire scene with her and Dean I just kept telling Dean to stab the bitch in the face. I don’t even care if it wouldn’t have killed her. I JUST WANT HER DEAD. WHY CAN’T SHE BE DEAD? WHY IS EVERYONE ELSE DYING BUT NAOMI IS STILL ALIVE.

Fucking Supernatural.

*deep breath*

I was prepared for feels, I was. I knew Bobby was coming back, Sam was going into Hell to get him… I knew I’d hurt, but… but THIS? Fuck no. THAT IS NOT OKAY. I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS. YOU CAN’T HURT ME LIKE THIS, SUPERNATURAL. IT’S NOT RIGHT.

*sobbing pathetically*

I loved the scene with Sam and Dean and the “freelance” Reaper. It was kind of awesome that he was a taxi driver. I really loved the scene with Dean talking to Kevin and buying him food and trying to keep him from freaking out and Kevin just walking back to his closet with Dean’s pie. That was hilarious and kinda cute.

But for the love of God, why weren’t Dean and Sam more worried about Kevin HEARING CROWLEY’S VOICE? That seems like a major fucking thing to be so passive about. “Oh you’re hearing Crowley in your head? Nah, I’m sure that’s nothing. Don’t worry.”

Seriously, guys? This is Crowley. Don’t you think you should’ve been a BIT more concerned when Kevin says he’s hearing his voice? Or any voices at all, since that means Kevin’s likely losing it and telling him to keep it together was some shitty advice, dudes. Come on, you’re smarter than that, aren’t you?

Whenever Dean realized Sam was trapped in Purgatory… And he called Benny again and I was so happy to see Benny. Then I got worried, because Benny was talking so FINAL, ya know? Like he was ready to die and didn’t have anything to live for and it broke my heart. Then he willingly let Dean kill him so he could save Sam and… I choked up. That was above and beyond the call of friendship right there. That was when I knew any lingering theories anyone has about Benny being evil were squashed.

And then… and then… *sobs*

I knew Bobby wouldn’t get to stay, but some small, foolishly hopeful part of me was clinging to the fact that maybe he could. Somehow, I still had hope, even after everything. And now it’s all crushed and ruined and GONE FOREVER. I hope you’re fucking happy, Supernatural. YOU KILLED MY HOPE. I didn’t even know I had any left and YOU KILLED IT.

I thought at least, since Bobby was going… Benny would get to stay and Sam would realize he could trust him and all would be good-ish even if I did cry watching it.

Then Benny started talking like he was ready to die AGAIN. And… and … then he saved them and helped Sam get to the portal and JUST DECIDED TO NOT GO. WHAT? BENNY, WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? I screamed. I seriously screamed. It was at that point that I knew that this show is going to end with Crowley killing Sam and Dean and no one wins because after that, Naomi will kill Crowley and find Cas and torture him again and THAT IS WHAT I’M SEEING IN THE FUTURE NOW. THERE IS NO FUCKING HOPE. NAOMI’S GONNA WIN AND EVERYONE I LOVE WILL DIE AND FUCK YOU, SUPERNATURAL. FUCK YOU.

Why the hell did they have to kill Benny? WHY? WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO DO? I loved Benny. Why couldn’t it have been Naomi? WHY IS BENNY DEAD AND NAOMI ISN’T? That’s not right. You can’t just kill people all willy-nilly, Supernatural. You just can’t. You fucking bastards. I HURT IN WAYS I DIDN’T KNOW I COULD HURT.

*sobs*

This is worse than “Swan Song”. This is worse than Meg dying. This is worse than John dying because now I know for sure that this is going nowhere. EVERYONE IS GOING TO LOSE. EVERYONE. I don’t have anything left. You’re ripping me apart piece by piece and I hate you because even though it all hurts and I threw things, I’ll still be there to watch the next episode. I’m like a hopeless addict, or a kicked puppy. I keep thinking “It can’t get WORSE.” And then it does.

*shuddering sobs*

I HATE EVERYTHING.

First off, that opening sequence made me nearly scream out loud. All those dead Deans everywhere… And Cas killing him. It nearly ripped my freaking heart out. I just… Oh my gawd, there were literally THOUSANDS of dead Deans just… just lying there and Cas had killed them ALL. He was like a freaking terminator. It was like soulless Sam only, much much worse.

And things only got even worse whenever Sam and Dean met up with Cas and he was all… not-Cas. I hate watching Cas act like not-Cas and I want to kill Naomi. Brutally. With a chainsaw. And boiling acid. Plus maybe a kraken and I’ll need a light saber and I’d love the practice the Cruciatus curse on her. And maybe hit her with Thor’s hammer and use Captain America’s sheild to bash her ribcage in. Point is, I hate her. A lot.

And of course Dean finally realizes there is something wrong with Sam and finds the bloody napkin. I knew he wasn’t going to take long to figure it out and I’m still pissed at Sam for hiding it, but more importantly, what Cas said is freaking me out. “Damaged in ways even I can’t heal” What? WHAT? *eye twitch*

I’m so glad that Dean finally noticed, and I’m still a bit pissed off at Sam for not telling Dean. I kinda wanted to punch him when he was all “I’m totally fine” Yeah, sure you are Sam. People cough up blood constantly because they’re totally healthy. STOP LYING. Damn it, Sam, you’re not an idiot. Dean’s not an idiot. You should’ve realized you couldn’t hide that from him.

And Meg! Meg!! I was so freaking happy to see Meg again and I wanted to hug her and she was there and it was wonderful. Much as I love her, I hated her flirting with Cas because… dang it, Meg, get your own angel, Dean’s already laid claim to Cas! I mean, her talk with Cas was awesome and I loved her flirting, but… Cas flirting back was just… no. Sorry, but I couldn’t help but scream “STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP!” Heh.

Ahem. Anyway. Meg’s little heart-to-heart with Sam was adorable and sweet and I was actually loving it. It’s nice to see the almost human side of Meg. Then she compared Amelia to a fucking unicorn and I wanted to scream. AMELIA IS NOT SOME FUCKING SPECIAL, WONDERFUL WOMAN. SAM QUIT HUNTING YEARS AGO AND WAS IN LOVE WITH JESSICA!! AMELIA ISN’T THE FIRST CHICK! Hell, Dean quit hunting when he was with Lisa. She’s not fucking special, SPN writers, stop trying to make me think so. Don’t ever mention her again or I’ll break something.

*deep breath* Anyway.

I gotta admit, I loved Crowley being pissed about Sam killing the Hellhound. Though I totally expected him to be more pissed, I guess he was more preoccupied with the Angel tablet and everything. Still. That part made me grin a bit. I’ve got a weird fascination with Hellhounds and kinda cried a little whenever Sam had to kill Crowley’s Hellhound. I knew Crowley wouldn’t take that well…

I think the scene with Cas nearly killing Dean broke me a little. Or a lot. I was screaming at the TV. I wanted Cas to kill that fucking bitch. Why the hell isn’t Naomi dead. Why does she exist? How does she know Crowley? WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING AND WHAT DID SHE DO TO CAS? CAN WE PLEASE KILL HER ALREADY???

Crowley showing up surprised me. Meg facing him and letting Sam get Dean and escape surprised me… Cas vanishing with the tablet shocked the hell out of me.

Crowley killing Meg broke my already shattered soul.

C-Can I please pretend that part didn’t happen? I mean… maybe… maybe she’s okay. Maybe she was just faking dead. Maybe…maybe … *sobs*

Fucking Supernatural. How dare you bring back the awesomeness that is Meg and KILL HER? Bastards. I mean, not that I wanted Crowley to die, but COME ON. Meg can’t be dead. That didn’t happen. She’s okay. She has to be okay. Please let her be okay.

*sobbing pathetically*

I hate this show. Goddamn it.

My little sister asked me, after I had finished the episode and was screaming about the pain, why I don’t just stop watching it.

I don’t have a real answer. Other than the fact that I’m a sick, sick person and I’m apparently a masochist. There is no other reason for me to put myself through this. Goddamn it, SPN, you’re not even pretending anymore are you? You’re just determined to kill me, aren’t you? WE WON’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. STOP IT. STOP.

Who the hell am I kidding. SPN fans are hooked. We’ll come back for more pain every time. We’re screwed up like that. It’s an abusive relationship…