Archive for the ‘Episode Deconstructions’ Category

So I know it’s been a few days since 9×23 “Do You Believe in Miracles” aired. And tumblr and Facebook exploded. So did my brain. I mean, seriously. Did you guys see that? Seriously! It… it just.


I know I said I was going to post my thoughts on the finale, but I cannot talk about the end. I will talk about everything else. I will say that I was so proud of Sam and so glad to see Sam caring for Dean. And I was so glad to see Dean and Sam together again and Dean dying in Sam’s arms, saying “I’m proud of us,” was just… guh. My feelings died. I swear to god.

Metatron. Metatron did not die. I am so pissed. You guys have no idea. I wanted him dead. I don’t care about any stupid “meanings” or Cas doing something good and sparing his enemy to stop the angel-on-angel violence. I don’t care. I wanted Cas to stab him in the face. I wanted him dead. Dead. Dead, I say! SOMEONE SHOULD TOTALLY JUST STAB METATRON.

And… Gadreel. *chokes* I am so unhappy. So freaking depressing. Good lord, SPN, I know you like to make us care about characters and then kill the, but REALLY. This is just getting ridiculous. You killed Gadreel, but NOT METATRON. No fair.

And what is going to happen to Cas? What is going to happen with his angel Grace? EXPLAIN, SUPERNATURAL, EXPLAIN.

Ugh. So many questions. So many worries. So many things I need to think about, but I *not* going to think about them until season 10 airs. I’ve already decided that my best course of action is to pretend that the last five seconds of “Do You Believe in Miracle” NEVER HAPPENED. IT NEVER HAPPENED GUYS.

So yeah, I will say all that. I will say that I have so many feelings. I will say that I’m dead inside. I will say that I am worried and anxious and unhappy. But those last five seconds? No. To quote Castiel, my rule is this: “We’re not supposed to talk about it,”

Okay, so everyone’s talking about last night’s backdoor pilot for the Supernatural spin-off. I figured I’d weigh in with my opinion…

Honestly? I am still undecided. It was an interesting episode–of a show that was not SPN. It did not feel like a spin-off and it certainly didn’t feel like a “backdoor pilot”. It was a pilot that basically interrupted the story of this season. If they were going to do it the way they did they really should have just given the show a real pilot. I’ve seen a lot of backdoor pilots, and they do not shove out the characters of the original show in favor of the other characters. The purpose of a backdoor pilot is the introduce views to the characters without doing an official pilot. The focus should always remain on the main characters of the original–it’s fine to have heavier focus on the spin-off characters, but they should NOT take away so much from the main cast. Especially when the main cast is only TWO CHARACTERS.

I don’t really know why this show is a spin-off. It does not feel like a spin-off. It feels like its own show that Sam and Dean Winchester happened to have cameos in. I’m honestly not sure why this was supposed to be a spin-off of the series considering the only real elements it has in common with SPN are the monsters. Nothing else.It’s an entirely different type of show with an entirely different type of premise–it’s not about monster hunters, it’s about monster gangsters. It’s not like the CW doesn’t already have television shows about monsters or groups of monsters fighting.

Which leads me to the premise of the show: not very original. I’ve seen it done before (and better). I’m not really a huge fan of these types of shows, so I didn’t think I would enjoy it. That being said, I did like the characters and probably would have loved them if they hadn’t pushed the spotlight totally away from Sam and Dean.

I’ll admit, I am still wary of the show. I’d probably be thrilled about it if it weren’t for two things: it’s a spin-off, and it’s on the CW. I hate most CW shows. (In fact–I hate them all except SPN…) And I don’t like poorly done spin-offs like this. Spin-offs should work like The Sarah Jane Adventures or Torchwood, which took existing elements of Doctor Who and expanded on them. Or (loathe as I am to mention this) like the CSI spin-offs, which took the same premise and gave it new characters in a new city with slightly different dynamics.

Supernatural Bloodlines does neither. It’s got a new premise and new characters. Like I said, the only existing thing they took from the show were the monsters.

So… I’m hopeful, but wary. I did like the characters, for the most part. I did think it was an interesting concept, even if it’s been done to death before. Maybe they can make it something new. Even if it’s the same thing I’ve seen before, I can still enjoy it. Familiarity isn’t always a bad thing. The biggest issue I have is characters and plot. It has the characters, now I’m just waiting to see if it can deliver on the plot.

I really wish they hadn’t tied it to SPN, because that seems like it’s going to (and already has, as a matter of fact) hurt the show. SPN fans don’t seem too thrilled with the backdoor pilot (taking the Winchesters out of most of the episode was a BAD MOVE, CW), but a few (myself included) are still willing to give it a chance if they decide to go forward it.

Just… I hope they tread carefully. They’re entering dangerous waters. As long as they don’t throw out over-used and boring cliches and keep the characters interesting, I am willing to watch and see how it pans out. It’s not a show I can see myself obsessing over and falling in love with like Supernatural, but it is conceivably a show that I can see myself enjoying.

So here’s to hoping they don’t sink this ship before it can sail.

So, I know I’m a couple of days late, but you can all blame shitty internet service on that. I hate living in the middle of freakin’ nowhere.

But anyway.

Let’s talk about episode 9×03, “I’m No Angel”, shall we?

You guys all remember that article I linked to you about Shannon Lucio playing Castiel’s love interest? And how she was going to be “introduced” in the third episode? And how I was fighting not to be too judgemental because we hadn’t seen her yet?

Well… now we have. Her name is April Kelly and I have three words for Supernatural: WHAT. THE. FUCK?

Okay, let me back up.

When April first came on-screen I liked her. She was nice and endearing and I immediately got a pit in my stomach because me liking a SPN character means bad shit is going to happen.

So then April continues to be nice. She’s sweet and sort of funny and Cas likes her and she was certainly not another bitchy, condescending, flat twit like our miss Richardson was last season. I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. I wished on every star that she’d stay that nice and they’d develop an interesting romance between the two of them, since, you know, they said they were giving Cas a LOVE INTEREST.

They fucking lied, that’s what they did.

Things started moving alarmingly fast when they end up having sex (and I cried a little because Cas finally lost his virginity and it wasn’t to Meg…) and I was sort of confused and unhappy, but not totally willing to dismiss April just yet.

And it was a sort of sweet/funny scene if I let go of my utter confusion and annoyance of how fast that happened.

Then this happens:

 I'm No Angel

April turns out to be evil, kills Cas and then is killed herself and Ezekiel brings Cas back and I’m left sitting there gaping at the television and wondering what the fuck I just saw. I actually had to look up that article about Cas again, re-read it and make sure I had the actress right.

Okay, Supernatural, you and I need to have a little talk about what a “love interest” is.

It is a character who serves as the significant other (romantic partner) of a main (or even secondary) character. Generally speaking, the relationship has to last more than a day or two and usually at least a few episodes as well.

It is NOT a character who acts nice to gain a main characters trust, has sex with them and then murders them. THAT is called a villain, SPN, and you should really have learned the difference by now. I know SPN writers are not the best at writing “romance” and I was terrified of this relationship being botched, but… really? REALLY? This is what you’re going to call a love interest?

What the fuck is messed up in their minds that they’d think it was appropriate to call April a love interest?

That being said, I applaud Supernatural for recognizing how catastrophically bad giving Castiel a love interest (especially so soon after turning him human) would be. I am glad they at least seem to have realized that it would likely have been a bad idea. Hats off to you for scaring me shitless for NOTHING. You bastards.

Sorry I wasn’t able to post after the episode aired last night. My home internet is wonky at the best of times and the laptop I’m currently using sucks. Still, I did want to do a post on the episode since it’s the season opener and is meant to set the tone for the entire season and so here it is, a bit late, but ah well.

To start off, I loved the episode. I mean, I cried a lot and I yelled a lot, but that’s par for course with Supernatural so I’m not complaining and I think everyone did a phenominal job with the episode and I am so excited for this season and where it’s going!

Now, on to my thoughts…


God. Sam made me sob this episode. I mean, pretty much everyone did, but I mean… just Sam. I can’t even begin to tell you how my heart started breaking when Bobby showed up in the Impala and him and Dean started arguing about whether or not Sam should just give up and Sam kept leaning toward giving up.

That scene with Death where Sam wants to make sure he can never be brought back hit me hard, especially. I mean, Sam and Dean have been through Hell and back (literally) and I know that wears on them and it’s enough to break anyone, but when he said that, when he basically just decided “This is it. I can’t go on. No more fighting, just let me be dead,” well, part of me broke.

I actually go a little angry at Dean for not letting him rest, because much as I love them and the show and Dean’s devotion to Sam, the fact is that Sam was ready to let go and Dean just refused to accept it (which is heartbreaking in itself) and I can’t figure out if he was wrong to try so hard to help Sam or not.


Where to begin? With that horrible, angst ridden prayer? With the desperation eking out of his every action? With him going to Crowley to maybe make a deal to fix Sam?

With him killing Bobby in Sam’s head (though, I am aware that technically that Dean was part of Sam – he was pretty much Dean so, yeah)? Or maybe with him letting Ezekiel possess Sam to fix him under false pretenses, basically tricking Sam into it? God, Dean must’ve been pretty damn desperate to do that and it still kind of pissed me off.

I know he doesn’t want Sam to die and I know he loves Sam and I know he couldn’t bear to lose his brother and he’s just doing what he thinks is best, but God, Dean, could you pick a more awful way to do it? I mean, I want to trust Ezekiel and he seems freaking awesome thus far, but still. This is Sam’s life and Sam’s body and Sam’s mind and Dean’s going around making these choices.

He sort of gave Sam a choice, but he knew it wasn’t really a choice. I don’t want to sound like I’m bitching here, because I’m really not, it’s just that I can already bet there is going to be major fireworks over this later because when Sam figures out what happened… Dean is in deep shit.

But Dean still broke my heart and was so badass and so, well, Dean. I can’t help but want to hug him and say it’s okay and everything will be alright, even if it won’t.


*clears throat*



I knew that was coming and it still managed to upset me more than nearly everything else this entire episode.

I gotta say, Cas’s determination to do the right thing and help the angels and fix this mess, it’s just so very him. I love that it actually took him a while to piece together the things that are going to be different for him now that he’s human and has all the problems that go along with that.

Particularly that scene where he first realizes he’s hurt. That made me teary. Poor Cas. He’s been run through the ringer so many times, always for trying to do the right thing, and now most of the angels hate him even more and are trying to kill him.

And even as lost and broken as he was, Cas still managed to be totally badass and prove that despite being human, he’s still a warrior and fucking with him is a bad idea. I am so excited for the Cas story arc this season (minus the love interest, which I remain dubious about until I see if they pulled it off..)


You have no idea how I squeed when Bobby showed up. I was so excited and I almost jumped off my bed. I was so glad to see him again and so glad that he showed up in Sam’s mind to try and talk him into being rational and doing what needs to be done.

Though it does strike me as odd that Bobby was the one telling Sam to move on and let go when Bobby seems to have a lot of trouble with that – he sure as hell didn’t want to let go any of the times he was supposed to. But I suppose he did learn (after the trouble that happened with him as a ghost) that letting go is kind of really important… I was just thrilled to have him back.

(And, again, I almost screamed when Dean killed him…)

And finally…


How totally awesome was Ezekiel guys? Oh my god, I think I’m in love with another angel. And that’s something I don’t say often seeing how I hate all but like, three of them.

Tahmoh Penikett was amazing. Seriously amazing. I’m not kidding, guys. I loved Ezekiel so much and I wanna rewatch the episode just for him.

HOWEVER, I am so, so wary to trust this character. I want to, I really, really do, but SPN has a history of introducing character and then them turning out to be totally evil and so I’m really not sure. He’s an angel and he’s now possessing Sam. That could be disastorous if he isn’t trustworthy. That could be terrible.

So I want to trust him, but i’m scared to because what if I get my heart ripped out AGAIN?



But anyway, that’s just some of my thoughts on the episode. I’m so excited for the rest of this season to see how everything pans out!

Obviously, this post contains SPOILERS for Supernatural episode 8×22, “Clip Show”

You have been warned.

(this post was written as the episode was airing so… you get my reactions as it happened! Yay for you!)

You know what I’m gonna do about tonight’s episode? I’M GONNA FREAK THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE HOLY SHIT WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO DO TO ME??

*deep breath*

Okay. Now, let’s get on with this.

The opening scene made me jump a bit and I just kind of covered my mouth saying “But I liked Tommy!” over and over. Come on! I remember that guy! I was happy when they saved him because I didn’t think that they’d be able to and HE JUST GOT KILLED!? No. Not cool. So wrong.

Also… how in hell did Crowley kill him that way? What the hell did he do? For a second I thought an angel was killing him, but there was no bright light so, nope.


Why is Dean being an ass to Cas? What the hell did Cas do to make him act like such a dick? Argh, Dean, you’re pushing me to throw things. I don’t like this. Stop being an ass. Seriously. Stop.

Also, “Weird!!!” huh? Well, that sounds like the Winchesters. This whole “curing a demon” thing is AWESOME. Like, horribly awesome in every way and I am so excited to see this in action I cannot wait.

Also, you may or may not remember that I have a “Winchesters I Wanna Punch in the Face” list, right? And that Sam was on it very recently for lying about this sickness thing and insisting he was fine? Well, Sam’s seeing logic and standing up for Cas because DAMN IT DEAN STOP BEING A DICK!!! Sam’s off the list. He’s good.

Dean is not. Not until he stops being a dick to Cas.

Cas shopping is like, the most adorable thing ever. He’s trying so hard to make things up to Dean (never mind that NAOMI IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MOST OF HIS BEHAVIOR) I loved his “I NEED PIE!” line. It was so adorable.

And then Metatron showing up. Gah. Sorry, I mean, Marv. Anyway. I’m in love with this guy and his plan to shut the angels up in Heaven and make them work together, but these trials are freaking me out a bit. I don’t want Cas to cut this girl’s heart out I just… *chews lip* I’m so conflicted. This sounds like a brilliant idea but… I don’t like the trial. It scares me.

However, I loved them talking about the angels like a dysfunctional family in need of serious help. Family therapy maybe? As long as Naomi the Evil Bitch dies, I don’t care how they fix it.

Yay! Abaddon’s back! I loved her so much! Her line about wanting to rip out their pretty eyes made me giggle and I blame my friend Beronica entirely (her obsession with eyes is wearing off on me. I don’t like this, Beronica. You’re making me seem even more twisted than I usually am). But seriously, they do have gorgeous eyes.

Ah, then Crowley calls and I really shouldn’t have been so happy about that. But he’s Crowley! And he’s totally awesome. And… He’s reading Chuck’s books too?!?!? Damn it, those books are getting mileage aren’t they?

AW HE KILLED JENNY!! Goddamn it, Crowley. I liked her too. *pout*


Aw man… I really don’t want Cas to kill this chick, but… Wait. Shit, she’s beating the hell out of them. Kill her, Cas, I don’t care anymore. Gut her if you have to. Good job, Cas! 🙂

And we’re back with Sarah. I swear, if she dies… You two better keep her safe, Sam and Dean. God, she’s so good at keeping her emotions in check. I love this chick. She had better not die. I will scream.

Yay! Sarah’s married! And has kids. I hate to say that this relieves me, ‘cos I loved her with Sam, but I really don’t want Sam to have another relationship right now. Even with someone as awesome as Sarah.

Oh fuck. She asked about him. *don’t mention Amelia. Don’t mention Amelia. DON’T MENTION AMELIA* *phew* He didn’t mention Amelia and Sarah’s still being awesome about – DON’T INSULT SAM’S HAIR SARAH! I love Sam’s hair.


Shut up Crowley! SHUT UP!! Save her!! God damn it, SAVE HER!!!



Crowley… *sobs* H-How could you?!?!? I can’t even… *sobs*

I hate this show so fucking much sometimes.

*choking on sobs*

D-Don’t even think about taking the deal, Sam. Don’t. It’s horrible. Please don’t. I hate watching people die too, but, this is CROWLEY. You know this is a bad idea. Plus, you’re fucking dying right now. You gotta finish the trials so that you can get better. I have a horrible suspicious that you’ll die, but you’ve done that before and since there’s a season 9 I know you’ll come back and…

I can’t do this. I hurt too much. Goddamn it, Supernatural, I knew I shouldn’t have hoped for better from you, but really, you could’ve let this one go. You could’ve let them save Sarah. YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO HURT ME ALL OVER AGAIN YOU ASSHOLES.





Thoughts on the PROMO:


We now interrupt this program to discuss tonight’s episode of Supernatural, “Taxi Driver” So, you know, SPOILERS and all that shit…

Now… *clears throat*


*deep breath*

Okay. Maybe now I can talk again.

Fucking Supernatural.


There are no words for what this show did to me tonight. I threw a remote at the TV. I seriously did. My remote is broken now. Because of this goddamn show. I hate this show, I hate the characters, my throat is hoarse from SCREAMING at the TV and EVERYTHING FUCKING HURTS.

And no, I will not apologize for how angry and broken this post is. I AM ANGRY AND BROKEN GODDAMN IT. Fuck. This show is EVIL.

I wonder if the writers realize that I’m already part of so many painful fandoms. There really is no need to try and rip out my heart. It’s already gone. IT’S GONE. BURNT TO ASHES. I DON’T HAVE EMOTIONS ANYMORE, THEY’RE ALL FUCKED UP IN A TANGLED KNOT OF PAIN.

Why would they do that? Kevin and his Crowley hallucinations… Crowley and his awesome badassery, Naomi and her STILL NOT FUCKING BEING DEAD-NESS.

I swear, the entire scene with her and Dean I just kept telling Dean to stab the bitch in the face. I don’t even care if it wouldn’t have killed her. I JUST WANT HER DEAD. WHY CAN’T SHE BE DEAD? WHY IS EVERYONE ELSE DYING BUT NAOMI IS STILL ALIVE.

Fucking Supernatural.

*deep breath*

I was prepared for feels, I was. I knew Bobby was coming back, Sam was going into Hell to get him… I knew I’d hurt, but… but THIS? Fuck no. THAT IS NOT OKAY. I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS. YOU CAN’T HURT ME LIKE THIS, SUPERNATURAL. IT’S NOT RIGHT.

*sobbing pathetically*

I loved the scene with Sam and Dean and the “freelance” Reaper. It was kind of awesome that he was a taxi driver. I really loved the scene with Dean talking to Kevin and buying him food and trying to keep him from freaking out and Kevin just walking back to his closet with Dean’s pie. That was hilarious and kinda cute.

But for the love of God, why weren’t Dean and Sam more worried about Kevin HEARING CROWLEY’S VOICE? That seems like a major fucking thing to be so passive about. “Oh you’re hearing Crowley in your head? Nah, I’m sure that’s nothing. Don’t worry.”

Seriously, guys? This is Crowley. Don’t you think you should’ve been a BIT more concerned when Kevin says he’s hearing his voice? Or any voices at all, since that means Kevin’s likely losing it and telling him to keep it together was some shitty advice, dudes. Come on, you’re smarter than that, aren’t you?

Whenever Dean realized Sam was trapped in Purgatory… And he called Benny again and I was so happy to see Benny. Then I got worried, because Benny was talking so FINAL, ya know? Like he was ready to die and didn’t have anything to live for and it broke my heart. Then he willingly let Dean kill him so he could save Sam and… I choked up. That was above and beyond the call of friendship right there. That was when I knew any lingering theories anyone has about Benny being evil were squashed.

And then… and then… *sobs*

I knew Bobby wouldn’t get to stay, but some small, foolishly hopeful part of me was clinging to the fact that maybe he could. Somehow, I still had hope, even after everything. And now it’s all crushed and ruined and GONE FOREVER. I hope you’re fucking happy, Supernatural. YOU KILLED MY HOPE. I didn’t even know I had any left and YOU KILLED IT.

I thought at least, since Bobby was going… Benny would get to stay and Sam would realize he could trust him and all would be good-ish even if I did cry watching it.

Then Benny started talking like he was ready to die AGAIN. And… and … then he saved them and helped Sam get to the portal and JUST DECIDED TO NOT GO. WHAT? BENNY, WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? I screamed. I seriously screamed. It was at that point that I knew that this show is going to end with Crowley killing Sam and Dean and no one wins because after that, Naomi will kill Crowley and find Cas and torture him again and THAT IS WHAT I’M SEEING IN THE FUTURE NOW. THERE IS NO FUCKING HOPE. NAOMI’S GONNA WIN AND EVERYONE I LOVE WILL DIE AND FUCK YOU, SUPERNATURAL. FUCK YOU.

Why the hell did they have to kill Benny? WHY? WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO DO? I loved Benny. Why couldn’t it have been Naomi? WHY IS BENNY DEAD AND NAOMI ISN’T? That’s not right. You can’t just kill people all willy-nilly, Supernatural. You just can’t. You fucking bastards. I HURT IN WAYS I DIDN’T KNOW I COULD HURT.


This is worse than “Swan Song”. This is worse than Meg dying. This is worse than John dying because now I know for sure that this is going nowhere. EVERYONE IS GOING TO LOSE. EVERYONE. I don’t have anything left. You’re ripping me apart piece by piece and I hate you because even though it all hurts and I threw things, I’ll still be there to watch the next episode. I’m like a hopeless addict, or a kicked puppy. I keep thinking “It can’t get WORSE.” And then it does.

*shuddering sobs*


First off, that opening sequence made me nearly scream out loud. All those dead Deans everywhere… And Cas killing him. It nearly ripped my freaking heart out. I just… Oh my gawd, there were literally THOUSANDS of dead Deans just… just lying there and Cas had killed them ALL. He was like a freaking terminator. It was like soulless Sam only, much much worse.

And things only got even worse whenever Sam and Dean met up with Cas and he was all… not-Cas. I hate watching Cas act like not-Cas and I want to kill Naomi. Brutally. With a chainsaw. And boiling acid. Plus maybe a kraken and I’ll need a light saber and I’d love the practice the Cruciatus curse on her. And maybe hit her with Thor’s hammer and use Captain America’s sheild to bash her ribcage in. Point is, I hate her. A lot.

And of course Dean finally realizes there is something wrong with Sam and finds the bloody napkin. I knew he wasn’t going to take long to figure it out and I’m still pissed at Sam for hiding it, but more importantly, what Cas said is freaking me out. “Damaged in ways even I can’t heal” What? WHAT? *eye twitch*

I’m so glad that Dean finally noticed, and I’m still a bit pissed off at Sam for not telling Dean. I kinda wanted to punch him when he was all “I’m totally fine” Yeah, sure you are Sam. People cough up blood constantly because they’re totally healthy. STOP LYING. Damn it, Sam, you’re not an idiot. Dean’s not an idiot. You should’ve realized you couldn’t hide that from him.

And Meg! Meg!! I was so freaking happy to see Meg again and I wanted to hug her and she was there and it was wonderful. Much as I love her, I hated her flirting with Cas because… dang it, Meg, get your own angel, Dean’s already laid claim to Cas! I mean, her talk with Cas was awesome and I loved her flirting, but… Cas flirting back was just… no. Sorry, but I couldn’t help but scream “STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP!” Heh.

Ahem. Anyway. Meg’s little heart-to-heart with Sam was adorable and sweet and I was actually loving it. It’s nice to see the almost human side of Meg. Then she compared Amelia to a fucking unicorn and I wanted to scream. AMELIA IS NOT SOME FUCKING SPECIAL, WONDERFUL WOMAN. SAM QUIT HUNTING YEARS AGO AND WAS IN LOVE WITH JESSICA!! AMELIA ISN’T THE FIRST CHICK! Hell, Dean quit hunting when he was with Lisa. She’s not fucking special, SPN writers, stop trying to make me think so. Don’t ever mention her again or I’ll break something.

*deep breath* Anyway.

I gotta admit, I loved Crowley being pissed about Sam killing the Hellhound. Though I totally expected him to be more pissed, I guess he was more preoccupied with the Angel tablet and everything. Still. That part made me grin a bit. I’ve got a weird fascination with Hellhounds and kinda cried a little whenever Sam had to kill Crowley’s Hellhound. I knew Crowley wouldn’t take that well…

I think the scene with Cas nearly killing Dean broke me a little. Or a lot. I was screaming at the TV. I wanted Cas to kill that fucking bitch. Why the hell isn’t Naomi dead. Why does she exist? How does she know Crowley? WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING AND WHAT DID SHE DO TO CAS? CAN WE PLEASE KILL HER ALREADY???

Crowley showing up surprised me. Meg facing him and letting Sam get Dean and escape surprised me… Cas vanishing with the tablet shocked the hell out of me.

Crowley killing Meg broke my already shattered soul.

C-Can I please pretend that part didn’t happen? I mean… maybe… maybe she’s okay. Maybe she was just faking dead. Maybe…maybe … *sobs*

Fucking Supernatural. How dare you bring back the awesomeness that is Meg and KILL HER? Bastards. I mean, not that I wanted Crowley to die, but COME ON. Meg can’t be dead. That didn’t happen. She’s okay. She has to be okay. Please let her be okay.

*sobbing pathetically*

I hate this show. Goddamn it.

My little sister asked me, after I had finished the episode and was screaming about the pain, why I don’t just stop watching it.

I don’t have a real answer. Other than the fact that I’m a sick, sick person and I’m apparently a masochist. There is no other reason for me to put myself through this. Goddamn it, SPN, you’re not even pretending anymore are you? You’re just determined to kill me, aren’t you? WE WON’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. STOP IT. STOP.

Who the hell am I kidding. SPN fans are hooked. We’ll come back for more pain every time. We’re screwed up like that. It’s an abusive relationship…

So, last night/tonight’s SPN episode was amazing and we got to learn more about witches, which was very cool. Since I’m sick, but my medicine hasn’t allowed me to sleep yet, I decided to post a few thoughts on the episode here…

Maybe it’s because I just started reading the 2nd Dresden Files book, but I totally kept expecting Harry Dresden to show up, he would’ve fit perfectly into tonight’s episode. I mean, the SPN witches are very close to the Dresden Files witches and Harry being a Wizard and PI, it would make perfect sense for me him to show up. But that’s just my newest addiction bleeding through. Probably.

But in all seriousness, Harry would’ve been helpful and maybe it’s also my strange obsession with crossovers, but I can see it all so perfectly in my head. Come on, tell me it doesn’t make absolutely perfect sense. Anyway.

I loved getting to see into the witch community. We’ve never gotten to do that before and it was very interesting and I loved Portia and her interaction with Sam and Dean… Ah, Dean was so cute when he said “I like dogs,” and I was just shaking my head. Oh Dean. Don’t you ever change. (As a side note, I’m actually pretty damn proud of Dean for not once saying the word “bestiality” in the whole episode…)

I was actually shedding HAPPY tears at the end of this episode. Which, for SPN, is remarkable in and of itself. That’s hardly ever (if ever…) happened. But Dean calling Sam “Sammy” gets me every time and he’s done it a couple of times this season and it makes my heart swell and I just… Aw…

Also, going off on a bit of tangent, but… Sam’s confrontation with Dean about Dean not being able to trust anyone but himself… Okay, first, yeah, Sam’s probably right about that (though I think Dean wanting to protect Sam is a big motivational factor…) but I just was like… “Wait, I… I’m the exact same way. Are you… are you telling me wanting to do something yourself because you don’t trust anyone else to do it right is BAD? Shit…” Seriously. I end up doing shit I don’t want to do, simply because I don’t think anyone else can do it the way it’s supposed to be done. Is that really a bad thing?? I suppose maybe it is. Damn it. Anyway, moving on.

After Dean was all, “I DO trust you,” and everything, I was smiling and my eyes were watering from happy tears… Then Sam started coughing. At first, I was like “Oh look, Sam’s got the same damn flu I do…” Then blood came out of his mouth. And I was like “Shit. What the hell is that?” For half a second, I thought he was gonna say something to Dean, then he just wiped the blood away and was all “I’m good,” and I just screamed “YOU FUCKING LIAR!!”

What the fuck, Sam? What… How long have you been hiding this? What’s going on? Why won’t you tell Dean? I’M SO CONFUSED. Dude, Sam, you JUST got of my “Winchesters I Wanna Punch in the Face” list LAST episode. Now, Dean’s the one off the hook and you’re BACK ON IT. You couldn’t even go a couple of episodes without getting back on my list, could you? DAMN IT. I hate Winchesters. I just hate them. Except Adam. ‘Cos he certainly doesn’t deserve my hate.

That whole “coughing up blood” thing came out of freaking NOWHERE. There were no warning signs, no hints earlier in the episode that something was going on with Sam. Nothing to indicate that we should be suspicious or worry about him and then BAM. Sam’s coughing blood and NOT SAYING A DAMN THING ABOUT IT. What. The. Fuck?

I can’t even wrap my head around this. Is this a result of the “Trials” thing? Has this been happening and he just hasn’t said anything? Is he sick? Is he dying? Did someone put a spell on him? (Hah, actually, a friend came up with a hilarious crack!theory of Amelia being a witch and hexing him… Riot, the dog, was obviously Amelia’s familiar in this scenario… I love my friends.)

*sighs* I guess there really is no way for me to win with this damn show. Supernatural is determined to screw with my head until it explodes from the pressure of the constant mind fucks. Not to mention the emotional TORTURE that the show puts me through. Jeesh.

Remind me again why I watch this show? Oh, right. It’s awesome.

I should be institutionalized.

Episode 1×06: Skin (PART TWO)

Written by: John Shiban

Directed by: Robert Duncan McNeill

Originally Aired: October 18, 2005


When we rejoin our heroes they’re down in the dark, dank sewers of St. Louis searching for a murderous shape shifter. They find a pile of icky looking goop that honestly made me a little sick to my stomach. Seriously, I saw an ear in that thing! *gags*

So they realizes that the thing sheds its skin whenever it shifts, which is… disgusting. And they realizes it’s using the sewers to get around, which is also gross. They climb back out of the sewers and gather their silver bullets, because that is how you kill all shape shifters, and guns and get ready to go back down into the sewers that night. Then Sam gets a call from Rebecca that goes like this:

Rebecca: Where are you?
Sam: We’re right near Zach’s. We’re just checking some things out.
Rebecca: Well look, Sam, stop, ’cause I really don’t need your help anymore.
Sam: What’re you talking about?
Rebecca: I told the lawyers that we went to the crime scene.
Sam: [grimacing] Why would you do that?
Rebecca: Well, I told them that we were with a police officer, and they checked it out and they told me that there is no ‘Detective Dean Winchester’
Sam: Beck –
Rebecca: No, I don’t understand why you would lie to me about something like that.
Sam: …We were trying to help.
Rebecca: Oh, trying to help? Do you realize that that was a sealed crime scene? You could’ve just ruined Zach’s case!
Sam: Becky, I’m sorry, but –
Rebecca: No! Goodbye, Sam!

First off, I get it. She’s pissed. This seriously could’ve screwed up her brother’s case because tampering with a crime scene is illegal. However, Sam raises a good question. Why the hell did she tell them? And also, she really shouldn’t be this mad at Sam for nearly screwing up her brother’s case because she stole evidence, which is also illegal and could probably get her and her brother into a lot of trouble if they found out about that. So why the heck did she even bring up the visit to the lawyers in the first place?

Also… totally random, but “Detective Dean Winchester” has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

So, Sam’s all upset because Becky’s made at him for lying and Dean sighs and gets all big-brother-y and tells him that he’s sorry, but that’s just the way it is. You lie to your friends, because the real you is terrifying and the truth is awful and it screws everything up so it’s just better to be without friends.

Then Dean smiles and hands Sam his gun with that adorable big-brother grin of his and says:

“But this life, it’s not without its perks,”

So, then they’re down in the sewers again. They come across another glob of that disgusting skin-stuff and then they spot the shifter, still wearing the face of Business Man. He attacks them, they shoot but I guess it’s dark and the thing moves fast because they don’t even injure it. It hits Dean pretty hard in his shoulder and Sam pauses to help him while the shifter gets away. They chase it out into the street and can’t spot it. Which is believable since it can become ANYONE.

Then they do the stupidest thing you can possibly do whenever you’re hunting a monster that can literally change its face to look like whoever it wants. They split up.

Argh. WHY!? Why, Sam? Why, Dean? Why would you possibly think that splitting up while chasing down a shifter is a good idea???

So they search the streets but find no sign of the shifter, they meet up around the block and decide to head back to the car. As they’re walking, Dean gets cut off by a car and its headlights flash in his eyes, making them silver. Oh joy, Dean not Dean. Some evil, twisted part of me is so glad that this happened because I just couldn’t stop grinning whenever I realized that the shifter had taken Dean’s form.

Anyway, they go back to the car and Sam is already suspicious, which stands a testament to just how well these two brothers know each other. He tosses Dean the keys and when he catches them with his injured arm, Sam pulls out his gun and demands to know where his brother his. “Dean” is convincing… really convincing. I mean, if I hadn’t seen the silver flash I would’ve doubted Sam was right.

Sam is clearly doubtful enough to not want to risk shooting his own brother, which give the shifter a chance to knock Sam out with a crowbar. One word: OUCH. That had to be painful.

Sam wakes up back in the sewers again, this time all tied and… … … … …


Sorry. Drifted off into dreamland for a moment. Anyway. Sam’s tied up and the shifter appears and Jensen Ackles is such a wonderful actor. I’m mean… seriously, this scene. I love it so much because he’s just… goddamn perfect, that’s what he is.

Anyway, the shifter starts taunting Sam and tells him that he thought his life was awful ’til he learned about theirs and he tells him that Dean’s got issues with Sam because Sam abandoned the family to go to school and he got to have a normal life while Dean had to stay back with their dad and carry on. Then he stops saying “Dean” and starts saying “I” which only makes the whole thing creepier as he sort of… “becomes” Dean and assumes his identity.

He talks about how everyone leaves him, even their dad, and how he got stuck having to take care of Sam and how he hated it all and how it wasn’t fair and how their dad loved Sam more and paid more attention to Sam than he ever did to Dean and the whole thing sort of broke my heart because I’m sure that Dean really feels that way about a lot of things. Especially about people abandoning him. Nothing and no one means more to Dean than family, and his family is constantly leaving him and he blames himself. Sometimes I just want to hug him and say “It’s not you, Dean, it’s them!”

Dean’s self-loathing is right up there with characters like the Doctor from Doctor who or Patrick Jane from the Mentalist. (I admit, I think he hates himself more than Jane…)

Anyway. He starts talking about Becky and gets all cocky and then he leaves.

Then we get to the scene where the intro started. “Dean” is with Becky, talking to her and telling her about shape shifters and how the thing is lonely and just wants to be loved and sounding very much like a serial killer at the moment. He says something (we don’t get to hear) that makes Becky freak out and call him disgusting and he comes towards her and she says she’ll call the cops and he rips the cord from the wall and ties her hands with it.

Then the SWAT team arrive… I guess a neighbor heard her screaming or something since she never got to call 911. Anyway, they go into the room where “Dean” is standing near a balcony and still holding the bloody knife. He turns around and they tell him to drop the knife. He throws it, killing on guy and dives from the balcony. Their bullets don’t affect him if they hit him, which I guess makes sense since he’s not human. He runs away.

While this is going on, Sam is trying to get out of his ropes and Dean hears him and we finally see Dean tied up a few feet behind Sam. They talk about the shifter and how he was “downloading” Dean’s thoughts and “becoming” him (still creepy) and Dean gets free and helps Sam get free and they head out of the sewers.

They spot a news report with a sketch of Dean and hear about the attack on Becky. They head toward her place to see if the Impala is still there and cops swoop in. Dean manages to escape and Sam says he’ll hold them off and wants Dean to stay out of the sewers.

Now here’s where things confuse me. Sam clearly got released the next morning. Dean ignored Sam’s warnings and goes into the sewers alone, the next morning. Sam goes to see Becky. She looks totally fine and not injured at all and he finds this totally normal. He explains to her about shape shifters. Dean finds the REAL Becky tied up in the sewers, bruised and bloody. She says she was walking home and got hit over the head and she woke up in time to see the shifter turn into her.

So… Becky was attacked the night before, right? She was pretty bloody and bruised. I suppose, if SWAT showed up fast enough, she wasn’t horribly injured, but she looked pretty rough in any case. She would’ve at least needed a few stitches. Aside from Sam not thinking about that (perhaps he didn’t really consider that…?), why the hell was Becky walking home by herself after being attacked in her home by her friend’s brother? Why was she not still in the hospital? Or answering police questions?

Also, why the hell aren’t her parents back yet? They were getting a flight back home a week ago. Were there no flights? Was there a storm in France that prevented them from getting home? Yeah, I’m being nit-picky, but the whole deal with Becky is the one thing I’ve never been able to figure out. I get that the shifter would assume Sam and Dean would go to Becky’s place after he realized they’d escaped, but I don’t understand why Sam and Dean didn’t assume Becky was in the hospital after being attacked and I really don’t get why Becky WASN’T in the hospital after she was attacked… Did she just refuses medical help and then decide to walk home after being brutally attacked in her own home??

Anywho, “Becky” hits Sam over the head with a beer bottle, which knocks him out. When Sam comes to again, the shifter has turned back into Dean. My guess, he likes Dean. (Okay, that’s not really a guess, the shifter says he likes Dean’s skin. Which is creepy.)

So Sam has his hands tied again and is at the mercy of “Dean”. The shifter searches for some kitchen knives and Sam assures him that they’ll never catch Dean, but the shifter says that even if they don’t, he’ll be a wanted man forever for killing his own brother.

He gloats some more and shoves a large kitchen knife into the pool table while Sam is lying on the floor all tied up. Sam kicks him and knocks him down, uses the knife to cut his ropes and then he and the shifter start to fight. The shifter is still talking like he IS Dean and also beating the crap out of Sam. Sam’s good, but the shifter must be pretty strong… He throws Sam into a book case and climbs on top of him, starting to strangle him while Sam struggles to not die.

Then the real Dean, and Becky, show up and Dean shoots “Dean” in the heart and rips his necklace off the shifters neck (which I guess the shifter stole) and looks over at Sam all meaningfully.

So the monster’s dead and the police have a dead body of a serial killer. They find some of Zach’s stolen clothes and the other victim’s DNA down in the sewer where Becky must’ve told them she was held. They conclude that Dean Winchester was the guy who committed all the attacks and he’s dead so hurray for them.

They drive off after a brief talk with Becky. Dean tells Sam that he’s sorry he has to live this life and that he wishes that Sam could have that normal life and Sam smiles.

Sam: Truth is, even at Stanford, deep down I never really fit in.
Dean: Oh, that ’cause you’re a freak.
Sam: Yeah, thanks.
Dean: I’m a freak too… Right there with you all the way.
Sam: [smiles] Yeah, I know you are.
Dean: …You know, I gotta say… I’m sorry I’m gonna miss it.
Sam: Miss what?
Dean: How many chances am I gonna have to see my own funeral?

And with that beautiful conversion, they end the episode and I’m somehow, impossibly more in love with these two brilliant characters than before.

Episode 1×06: Skin  (PART ONE)

Written by: John Shiban

Directed by: Robert Duncan McNeill

Originally Aired: October 18, 2005


Because this post was ridiculously long once I wrote it all out, I’m breaking the episode “Skin” into two parts.

Let me just start this post by saying that “Skin” is my favorite season 1 episode, hands down. I have seen this episode 15 times already, and that number is likely to rise in the next few months. There’s just something about the Shifter (and particularly, about Shape Shifter!Dean) that is fascinating to me in a really, really wonderful way. This episode is the result of more half-cocked, ludicrous fanfiction ideas in my head than any other episode of this season… It was the episode where I *knew* I was going to be obsessively scrolling fanfiction archives to read about these two brothers.

So, once we get through the recap that prefaces nearly every episode of Supernatural (and I admit, there are times when they annoy me, but I’ve grown rather fond of the frequent recaps and have learned to pay attention, because they tell you what characters and monsters we’re gonna see in the coming episode), we’re in a dark room in St. Louis, Missouri, with a woman tied to a chair, bloody and terrified while a SWAT team sneaks in.

She tells them her attacker is through another door and they enter, catching the guy, with his back to them and tell him to freeze.

He turns around and… Holy shit, it’s Dean! He’s dirty and covered in blood and there’s a horribly evil look in his eyes that sent shivers down my spine. My mind immediately tried to come up with reasons for why Dean was there and what was going on, but the most I could think of was “Obviously, there’s something I’m missing,” I know Dean would never, ever hurt an innocent woman. Right?

Then we cut to “One Week Earlier” and Sam and Dean are at a gas station, gassing up and Sam’s checking emails on his phone or… Digital assistant thingy… I’m not sure. Not important anyway. Dean is surprised that Sam still talks to his friends from school and asks what he tells them.

Sam: I tell ’em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ’em… I needed some time off, after Jess…
Dean: Oh, so you lie to them.
Sam: No! I just don’t tell them… everything.
Dean: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey man, I get it. Tellin’ them the truth is far worse.
Sam: So what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life?
Dean: [shrugs]

Remember this. It becomes a pretty big theme of the show. Sam and Dean are just not allowed to have friends or lovers or… well, be happy, really. It’s Rule No. 1 in the Supernatural universe. Also, the whole “lying” thing here I find interesting. Sam might hate hunting, in fact, at this point in time, I’m sure he does. But what I do not understand, and never have understood, is why he seems so surprised here about the fact that they have to lie to people and Dean has to tell him that people don’t and won’t accept the truth.

Sam’s been raised in this life, ya know? He should already be aware of that. Since he was a kid his dad and brother have taught him the ins and outs of hunting and let’s just be honest for a second, Sam’s a damn good hunter. He might hate it, but he’s good at it. (We’ll ignore the fact that much of season 1 was Dean saving Sam… Sam was rusty after going so long not hunting and that’s my personal theory there) Sam should be used to hiding who he is and what his family does, considering he’s done it HIS ENTIRE LIFE. He never told Jessica the truth, I’m sure his friends in high school never knew the truth and in fact, he’s still keeping that secret because he never told Amelia *gags* the truth about his past either.

Anyway, Sam gets an email from his friend Rebecca who tells him that her brother Zach, another friend of Sam’s, has been arrested on suspicion of murdering his girlfriend. Rebecca is absolutely sure Zach is innocent, but the police have a pretty solid case against him what with video evidence and DNA linking him to the crime and all. Sounds to me like Rebecca just doesn’t want to accept that her brother is a murderer, and Dean agrees with me.

But Sam, ever the compassionate optimist (which WILL get him into trouble, mark my words), insist that they have to help. I’m curious about just how two young guys, one of whom definitely has a criminal record at this point, with no jobs and no power over the legal system are going to help here. Dean is also confused by how they can help. Sam says they’re his friends and they’re going to help. Obviously, this means they go to St. Louis to “help”, though I’m still not sure how they can. Obviously, something supernatural is going on and I’m sure Zach is innocent, but… Sam doesn’t know anything weird is happening, he’s just going to help a friend. It’s sweet, but seems kinda pointless and like a lost cause. My guess is, Dean just decided to humor him because he just cares that much about his little brother.

So they arrive in St. Louis at a huge mansion and we meet Rebecca, a pretty blond girl who looks so happy to see Sam. There’s a strange line where he calls her “Little Becky”, which seems a bit out of place to me. She looks older than him… Though, she definitely is shorter than him. Pretty much everyone is “little” to Sam though, because Jared Padalecki is a friking giant.

Jared Padalecki seen here, being extra super tall with his wife, Genevieve.

Jared Padalecki seen here, being extra super tall with his wife, Genevieve.

She leads them into the kitchen, says her parents are still in Paris where they live half the year. I can only deduce that these people are filthy rich by the looks of the house that they’re in. She tells them about what happened to Zach’s girlfriend. Funnily enough, I have no remembrance of the dead girlfriend’s name…

Apparently, Zach got home late after having a few beers with his sister until “at least midnight” and found his girlfriend blood and beaten and tied to a chair. Becky doesn’t mention whether or not she was raped, but from things that happen later, I can assume she probably was. He calls 911 and when the cops show up, they arrest Zach. I’m not sure if that’s really how police work, though I do know Zach would certainly be a suspect being so close to the victim and also discovering the body.

They put the time of death at around 10:30 that night, meaning Zach couldn’t possibly have done it, right? Because he has an alibi. Haha, WRONG. The police have a surveillance tape that shows Zach coming home at around the time of death. Which is impossible, because he was with Becky until 12. Sam asks to see the crime scene and tells Becky that Dean is a cop. Dean, being Dean, looks a little shocked at Sam’s lie for a second, then smoothly goes along with it, correcting Sam and saying he’s a detective.

So, they illegally break into the crime scene and look around and Sam tries to convince Dean that something weird is going on and Zach couldn’t be two places at once and they’re his friends so can they please just look around and make sure. There’s a dog that’s going nuts and apparently dogs are sensitive to the paranormal. Dean admits that maybe something is weird about this, but he’s still not sure. You mean the psychotic dog didn’t convince you, Dean? For shame! What kind of hunter are you?

They ask Becky if she can get the surveillance tape because Dean doesn’t really have any jurisdiction here and Becky admits she already has a copy, because she swiped it from the lawyer to “see for herself”. That strikes me as a bit strange, considering how very, very illegal that is and also given her reaction to finding out Dean’s not a cop. But more on that later.

We cut to “Zach” sitting on a park bench or something, watching this business man kiss his wife goodbye before driving away. His eyes flash silver, which is freaking creepy, and then he smiles. Hey, I wonder if he’s about to do something evil? Ha, of course he is!

Then we’re back with Sam and Dean as they in Becky’s parents’ mansion again as they watch the tape, seeing a weird eye-flare whenever “Zach” glances toward the camera. I find it amusing how these things always look toward the camera to give them a shot of the weird silver flare that shows up when they do. Sam reasons that maybe it’s some dark double of Zach’s, kind of like and evil twin or something. Dean says maybe and agrees that this could possibly maybe kinda be their sort of case. Really, Dean? Still not convinced? Jeesh.

Anyway, then we cut to the business man, coming home early because his meeting was cancelled. The house is quiet and he sees blood on the walls and finds his wife, bloody and tied to a chair, sobbing into a gag. He rushes to her, freaked out, and undoes the gag, asking her what happened while she sobs and begs him not to hurt her. He’s still freaked and now he has blood all over his hands. He then hears a noise and realizes her attacker must still be in the house.

He creeps around cautiously and turns a corner to see… *insert dramatic pause here* HIMSELF. Dun dun dun.

“He” knocks himself out with a baseball bat. Then we cut to Sam and Dean again.

Dean’s whiny because it’s five thirty in the morning and he would clearly rather be sleeping, but Sam insist that this is important. He realizes that the security tape shows “Zach” entering, but not leaving and realizes that “Zach” must’ve gone out through the back.

Nah, really? *sigh* I would’ve figured that was a bit obvious, but I suppose they wouldn’t automatically assume that since they originally weren’t sure what was going on, so I won’t complain about it.

Anyway, Sam finds a blood trail, because, for some reason, the shifter wiped his bloody hands all over a street light post. Sure, why the heck not. Maybe he was all sticky from the torture and murder he’d just finished up and just couldn’t wait until he was somewhere safer to wipe it off. The trail apparently ends there since Dean casually looks around and sees absolutely no blood.

Then an ambulances passes and they follow it all the way to Business Man’s house, where he is being arrested for beating and torturing his wife. Luckily, this lady survived. Unluckily, she tells cops that, yes, her husband totally did it, even though he was driving home whenever she was attacked and couldn’t have done it. The cops think he’s crazy ‘cos he told them he saw the attacker in the house and it was like his clone or something.

Sam and Dean realizes that it’s unlikely they’re dealing with two “dark doubles” (I’m curious to know if that’s a real thing since we’ve never seen a “dark double” on the show…) and maybe it’s something that can change its shape and look like anyone. Therefore, it’s a shape shifter.

They follow a similar trail out the back door of Business Man’s house and the trail suddenly ends again. Sam wonders if shifters can fly, but Dean notices the sewer lid-thingy (whatever it’s called… I forgot and don’t feel like looking it up) so, logically, this means they must go into the sewers after it…