First off, that opening sequence made me nearly scream out loud. All those dead Deans everywhere… And Cas killing him. It nearly ripped my freaking heart out. I just… Oh my gawd, there were literally THOUSANDS of dead Deans just… just lying there and Cas had killed them ALL. He was like a freaking terminator. It was like soulless Sam only, much much worse.

And things only got even worse whenever Sam and Dean met up with Cas and he was all… not-Cas. I hate watching Cas act like not-Cas and I want to kill Naomi. Brutally. With a chainsaw. And boiling acid. Plus maybe a kraken and I’ll need a light saber and I’d love the practice the Cruciatus curse on her. And maybe hit her with Thor’s hammer and use Captain America’s sheild to bash her ribcage in. Point is, I hate her. A lot.

And of course Dean finally realizes there is something wrong with Sam and finds the bloody napkin. I knew he wasn’t going to take long to figure it out and I’m still pissed at Sam for hiding it, but more importantly, what Cas said is freaking me out. “Damaged in ways even I can’t heal” What? WHAT? *eye twitch*

I’m so glad that Dean finally noticed, and I’m still a bit pissed off at Sam for not telling Dean. I kinda wanted to punch him when he was all “I’m totally fine” Yeah, sure you are Sam. People cough up blood constantly because they’re totally healthy. STOP LYING. Damn it, Sam, you’re not an idiot. Dean’s not an idiot. You should’ve realized you couldn’t hide that from him.

And Meg! Meg!! I was so freaking happy to see Meg again and I wanted to hug her and she was there and it was wonderful. Much as I love her, I hated her flirting with Cas because… dang it, Meg, get your own angel, Dean’s already laid claim to Cas! I mean, her talk with Cas was awesome and I loved her flirting, but… Cas flirting back was just… no. Sorry, but I couldn’t help but scream “STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP!” Heh.

Ahem. Anyway. Meg’s little heart-to-heart with Sam was adorable and sweet and I was actually loving it. It’s nice to see the almost human side of Meg. Then she compared Amelia to a fucking unicorn and I wanted to scream. AMELIA IS NOT SOME FUCKING SPECIAL, WONDERFUL WOMAN. SAM QUIT HUNTING YEARS AGO AND WAS IN LOVE WITH JESSICA!! AMELIA ISN’T THE FIRST CHICK! Hell, Dean quit hunting when he was with Lisa. She’s not fucking special, SPN writers, stop trying to make me think so. Don’t ever mention her again or I’ll break something.

*deep breath* Anyway.

I gotta admit, I loved Crowley being pissed about Sam killing the Hellhound. Though I totally expected him to be more pissed, I guess he was more preoccupied with the Angel tablet and everything. Still. That part made me grin a bit. I’ve got a weird fascination with Hellhounds and kinda cried a little whenever Sam had to kill Crowley’s Hellhound. I knew Crowley wouldn’t take that well…

I think the scene with Cas nearly killing Dean broke me a little. Or a lot. I was screaming at the TV. I wanted Cas to kill that fucking bitch. Why the hell isn’t Naomi dead. Why does she exist? How does she know Crowley? WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING AND WHAT DID SHE DO TO CAS? CAN WE PLEASE KILL HER ALREADY???

Crowley showing up surprised me. Meg facing him and letting Sam get Dean and escape surprised me… Cas vanishing with the tablet shocked the hell out of me.

Crowley killing Meg broke my already shattered soul.

C-Can I please pretend that part didn’t happen? I mean… maybe… maybe she’s okay. Maybe she was just faking dead. Maybe…maybe … *sobs*

Fucking Supernatural. How dare you bring back the awesomeness that is Meg and KILL HER? Bastards. I mean, not that I wanted Crowley to die, but COME ON. Meg can’t be dead. That didn’t happen. She’s okay. She has to be okay. Please let her be okay.

*sobbing pathetically*

I hate this show. Goddamn it.

My little sister asked me, after I had finished the episode and was screaming about the pain, why I don’t just stop watching it.

I don’t have a real answer. Other than the fact that I’m a sick, sick person and I’m apparently a masochist. There is no other reason for me to put myself through this. Goddamn it, SPN, you’re not even pretending anymore are you? You’re just determined to kill me, aren’t you? WE WON’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. STOP IT. STOP.

Who the hell am I kidding. SPN fans are hooked. We’ll come back for more pain every time. We’re screwed up like that. It’s an abusive relationship…

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