I was going on about the latest Supernatural episode to a friend (who does not watch the show) and halfway through my rather long-winded rant, she just stopped me and asked “Why do you care so much about these people? They aren’t real!”

(In case you’re wondering, she’s not a very GOOD friend…)

Anyway, it actually got me to thinking, because I do talk and talk and talk about these character and about how much it hurts when I see them hurt. Especially last Wednesday’s episode, with Dean giving his customary “I’m totally worthless,” speech again. Honestly, either I’m a masochist or I just have no soul because a sane person would not continue to put themselves in such a position to be hurt again and again.

After thinking (and thinking and thinking) I’ve decided that this show means quite a lot to me for many reasons. I am a fandom nerd, I admit it. I obsess over many fandoms, Supernatural is only one of them. However, it has become the one that I obsess over the most. It’s the one that hurts the most, the one that I get the most excited for and the one I spend the majority of my time annoying friends with.

The thing that attracted me to the show wasn’t the monsters and the fight scenes… It was the characters.

First it was Sam and Dean and their relationship with one another. Their bond, that Die-For-Each-Other love is what makes them so amazing. Those moments whenever I can watch them interacting and smiling and teasing each other…

There are those awful periods where Sam and Dean are fighting, and it just tears at my heart to see them at odds. I get the intense urge to grab then and throw them into a room, telling them they either hug and make up or they die. A lot of this season has had me screaming at my computer screen in anger because of their fighting. Thankfully, the latest episodes are bringing me hope and the direction that things are going is making me very, very happy.

Then there’s John Winchester. A lot of people seem to hate John and claim that he was a bad father, but John was always doing the very best that he could do and he loved no one more than his sons. He wasn’t the best father in the world, but the fact that he tried is what makes me love him so much. Many fathers don’t even do that.

The worst part is, I had always thought that John’s loyalty to family, him drilling that same loyalty and family responsibility into his children… I thought that was because his own father had taught him the same. Then we met Henry and I realized that it was just the opposite. John was so dedicated to his family, because he was striving to be the father he never had.

And it’s not just the Winchesters that have managed to wrap themselves up into my heart. From the moment he was introduced I was in love with Castiel and he only became a more and more compelling and relatable character as the show moved forward.

The thing about Cas that I love so much is the fact that I relate to him so well. I mean, I can find things that remind me of myself in the other characters, but with Cas his struggle with faith, both in himself and in God, was very similar to my own struggles with faith and religion. Something just… clicked with Cas. There isn’t a character on the show I’m more willing to forgive for any wrongdoing than Cas.

I’ve been angry with Sam and Dean for months at a time, but I can’t really ever seem to be too mad at Cas, even whenever he didn’t listen to Dean or when he nearly got them all killed… I just wanted to hug him and tell him it would be okay, but I couldn’t make myself be angry at him.

So… maybe it does sound a little strange to say that I get angry at fictional characters, or that I cry when they’re hurt, or that whenever things are looking up for them I smile, but these characters are so real that I cannot help it. I connect with them, I love them, I hate them and I want them to win and be happy. They’re very real to me. That’s why this show means so much to me. That’s why I care.

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